Creepiest Fake Movie Diseases
PopEater
By now, you've surely read a million stories about swine flu - we're not gonna lie, it's freaking us out. While we suspect (read: hope) it's too early to get on the global pandemic bandwagon, we're trying to distract ourselves from news of the very real and very creepy illness while we can. We thought we'd focus on some of the more outlandish fake maladies of the movies instead. Here are the Top Ten Fake Film Diseases - at least we can be sure we'll never catch these. WARNING - some of these clips are pretty stomach-turning. View with caution!
10. 'The Happening' didn't describe a disease so much as an allergy - an allergy that makes people commit suicide in violent, gory masses.
9. The "brain cloud" that Joe contracts in 'Joe Versus The Volcano' is so fake, it's even fake within the movie. It has no symptoms besides being fatal - and made up by a phony doctor to push Joe to live his life more fully.
8. The titular fever of 'Cabin Fever' is a flesh-eating delight and one of the grossest things we've ever seen on screen.
7. There is almost nothing scarier than the idea of 'Blindness' as a contagious epidemic and the resulting global chaos.
6. The 'Andromeda Strain' is an extraterrestrial agent that causes the blood in the patient's body to clot to death. Gross. It's spread by airborne transmission, and is extremely contagious. Thanks a lot, aliens.
5. The T-Virus of 'Resident Evil' kills its host, but allows one brain function to regenerate: the part that controls feeding. Victims of the T-Virus become raging, mindless cannibals, infecting others with a simple bite. Nasty bug, that one.
4. The disease that the movie-CDC attempts (and fails) to contain in 'Quarantine' is a lot like rabies for humans, with a lot of rage, biting, and partial consumption of neighbors and loved ones. It makes the common cold look like a day in the park.
3. The Krippin Virus of 'I am Legend' turns normal people into creatures that are a little like rabid animals and a little like vampires, with some super strength and agility thrown in. In other words, only a tiny bit dangerous.
2. Zombies: one of the most frightening movie monsters ever, but at least they're slow, right? Yeah, not if they're actually humans infected with Rage, like most of England in '28 Days Later.' Humans catch Rage from some angry test monkeys, and it turns them into zombies, for all intents and purposes - just really, really fast zombies.
1. And the number one freaky disease movie is the miniseries adapted from Stephen King's novel 'The Stand.' The story of a superflu called Captain Trips and its very few survivors hasn't stopped giving us nightmares since the first time we saw it.
Bonus Disease: The Motaba Virus From 'Outbreak' is probably the only thing known to man that could have ruined Patrick Dempsey's hair. Watch it go airborne here. Makes you really think about those germs floating around.
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2009-04-28 14:53:31
