Nothing inspires movie critics to whip out their most scathing vocabulary like a Michael Bay flick. The reigning king of explosions and car chases directed the newly released 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,' and love it or hate it, you can't help but giggle at some of the harsher reviews. Well, at least... we can't. After we saw Roger Ebert's super-brutal slam on the blockbuster (below), we decided to delve into the history of Michael Bay reviews. Did it get cold in here?

Roger Ebert on 'Transformers 2':
"'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."

Rolling Stone on 'The Island':
"Early buzz indicated that Michael Bay had finally directed an epic that didn't sink to the idiot shallows of 'Pearl Harbor' and 'Armageddon'. Fat chance. I've elevated the rating by half a star because Scarlett Johansson is a luminous camera subject that even Bay can't sully, and because the plot contains a glimmer of an actual idea."

USA Today on 'Pearl Harbor':
"Ships, planes and water combust and collide in 'Pearl Harbor', but nothing else does in one of the wimpiest wartime romances ever filmed."

New York Observer on 'Transformers':
"With 'Transformers', director Michael Bay has once again claimed the year's top honors for loud, stupid filmmaking. Never content to merely entertain, he assaults, launching a computer-generated broadside of aural and visual artillery for an almost interminable two and a half hours."

Roger Ebert on 'Armageddon':
"The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

The Washington Post on 'The Rock':
"Even for adults, the movie's a violence-intoxicated, far-fetched, morally corrupt drama that sinks like a . . . you know."

CNN on 'Bad Boys 2':
"Bay, it seems, could care less about character development -- or plot, for that matter."

Detroit News on 'Transformers 2':
"A great grinding garbage disposal of a movie, 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' isn't so much a narrative film as a cacophonous series of explosions intermittently interrupted by needless dialogue."

Washington Post on 'Bad Boys':
"Even by the low-low standards of cheap action flicks, this one's bad, boys. Michael Bay... has seen one 'Miami Vice' rerun too many."

The Washington Post on 'The Island':
"If you find yourself at 'The Island' I have only three words of advice: Vote yourself off. "