Joan Rivers Zings Foes, Old & New

By PopEater Staff Posted Aug 5th 2009 10:07AM

Joan Rivers has been getting into the spirit of her upcoming Comedy Central roast (airing Aug. 9) by zipping some zingers at random celebrities in recent days. Check out a few choice jibes:

On Jon Gosselin, to Page Six: "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' -- well, he should have found himself a condom."

On Brooke Shields, to TMZ: "I'd love to roast Brooke Shields. Michael's dearest friend. She hasn't seen him since 1993! ... It's called face time." (Referring to Shields' eulogy at Michael Jackson's memorial service.)

On Jay Leno, to the TV Critics Association: "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m. because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier ... It will be nice for the Midwest because their crops will be greener."

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Joan Rivers on the Town

NEW YORK - AUGUST 04: (L-R) Impersonator Jesse Volt, actress Joan Rivers, Gary Dee and Joe Posa promote the TV Land PRIME series "How'd You Get So Rich?" at the CBS Early Show Studio Plaza on August 4, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jesse Volt;Joan Rivers;Gary Dee;Joe Posa

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Joan Rivers Snapshots

In this photo provided by PictureGroup, Joan Rivers, right, and Katie Couric attend a party celebrating the premiere of Rivers' show "How'd You Get So Rich" on TV Land PRIME at Rivers' residence in New York on Monday, Aug. 3, 2009. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini, PictureGroup)

In this photo provided by PictureGroup, Joan Rivers, left, Katie Couric, center, and Hoda Kotb attend a party celebrating the premiere of Rivers' show "How'd You Get So Rich" on TV Land PRIME at Rivers' residence in New York on Monday, Aug. 3, 2009. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini, PictureGroup)

NEW YORK - AUGUST 04: Actress Joan Rivers promotes the TV Land PRIME series "How'd You Get So Rich?" at the CBS Early Show Studio Plaza on August 4, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Joan Rivers

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NEW YORK - AUGUST 04: Actress Joan Rivers greets fans while promoting the TV Land PRIME series "How'd You Get So Rich?" at the CBS Early Show Studio Plaza on August 4, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Joan Rivers

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Tags: brooke shields, BrookeShields, insults, jayleno, joan rivers, JoanRivers, jon gosselin, JonGosselin, roast

Comments

(61)

Wednesday 05 August

By timscookie

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OMG! Her comment about Jon is sooo idiotic! She should know that they had the kids by artificial means due to Kates inability to get pregnant! Not the old fashion way! It makes no sense to tell him to us birth control when they couldn't have kids the natural way! STOOOPID! Joan has always been harsh around the edges but she is now the epitomy of an old crotchty woman. She is no longer funny or relevant, she is just bitter!

Sunday 09 August

By mare

Here is the mystery to me...why in the hell is Joan Rivers showing up anywhere in publis...she is the most ridiculous, ugly, untalented person in public that I have ever seen. I can't imagine she gets paid money for what she does.

By Raffaele Zuccaro

This Bitchy Witchy always suffered from MORAL DECAY!!!!She is the most vulgar, egotistical,loud-mouth,decadent person EVER!!!!--She has NO sense of SHAME---She claimed to be a good "jewish person" on Celebrity- What a hippocrite she is- doesnt have a decent thought in her UGLY HEAD!!!

By Spike

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This should be one of the better Roasts! I can't wait it should be fun!

Saturday 08 August

By OMGreally?

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Seriously??!! You would really waste your time watching this sad excuse for a woman??? I actually pity her. I'd bet anything she's home crying half the time....what a career to be remembered for...but she chose it.

By barb

Thus coming from a woman who cant grow old. She is so pathetic. Her face is so stiff you dont know if she is smiling or what. She should look in mirrow and then try to criticize someone. Brooke didnt say she was with him all the time she was remembering when they were young and with each other. Joan do all of us a favor and get out of the limelight. No one wants to listen to a has been.......

By renae

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what is with this BI.... she has been mouthing off for months. she isnt funny. she's a loud mouth old hag who can close her mouth or her eyes will close. her next surgery should be to zip her overpaid mouth. i hope when roasted they really give it to this bitter BI. ever since she didnt get the tonight show gig shes been a bitter hag, thus the comment about jay leno - well BI... lets see you get a gig for 17 years. your left to do D list stuff because you are a D list BI.

By TWW1

What a horrid, vile, evil old gas bag.

By Toni

Luv you Ms. Rivers! As usual you are right on point!

By MO

You wouldn't know right if it hit you between the eyes. She is absolutely useless, plus UGGGGGLY. As old as she is, she just wants the attention. They need to put her in a crate and ship her off to some far away remote island.

By Amber Scantland

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She is a BITCH she thinks its okay for her to put somebody down and get away with it but when somebody does the same to her she gets mad. I wish somebody would make fun of her so bad that itll make her cry like the bitch she is

By rbtltd

Damn - I thought that pic with her and those impersonators was actually a "BATMAN'S JOKERS' CONVENTION"

By jhmelvin

Joan Rivers needs to keep her thoughts and opinions to herself. Why anyone decided to give this woman her own celebrity roast is beyond. She is a vulgar, rude, demeaning, egotistical, self-centered, selfish b*tch!! She needs to disappear into another galaxy where someone gives a damn about her.............Drop off the face of the earth Joan, you have had way too much air time!!! Sadly, your daughter is just like you. Take her with you!!!!!

By Chattie

I think Joan is hysterically funny but she is kind of gross with the language. I watched her show once on the commedy show and it was hysterical but I couldnt believe how vulgar her routine was. I had no idea she said the F word, etc. so many times. I used to see her on Johnny Carson and she was always hysterical but no excess vulgarity.

Who's her plastic surgeon, I want to know, he did a real good job on her face.

Thursday 06 August

By (:

okay 1. how are you going to call someone stupid and not even spell it right ?
2. if you dont like her so much dont take time to read the article and comment on it.
3. no one cares if you hate her so much. shes making more money then any of you ever will and if you dont like her shows on tv get off your butt and change the channel

By sayitstraight

your an idiot, she probably reminds you of your mother.

By bu4ick

Hello C:

Before you criticize someone's spelling you might want to brush up on your grammer and punctuation. It's atrocious.

Your salutation should be:

Okay:

1. How are you going to call someone stupid and not even spell it right?

Stupid should be in quotes; "stupid."

"Okay" - "How" and "she's" which begin sentences should be capitalized as well as "If" and "No" which begin your 2nd and 3rd bullets.

In the text "If you don't like her so much," the use of "so much" is superfluous. Try reading that sentence without it.

"Dont" which you misspelled twice is spelled d.o.n(apostrophe)t." Which also applies to your misspelling of "shes." (she's - it's a contraction of she is.)

"She's making more money (then) any of you ever will-" It's than not "then."

I hope you don't take this critique personal. I love America and the English language. I've studied it earnestly since I snuck across the Mexican border three yeras ago.

Don

By Booger

Q: Is there anybody worth their salt that actually values her opinion on anything?

A: If you had to think about the answer, you wouldn't understand.

By oldlady

Joan Rivers comments on Brooke Shields when Joan Rivers hasn't one anything of substance with anyone for 30 years. Shes a has been~ no talented~ whiney~ old, old, old, lady who really should be in a home by now. Joan Rivers you are so plastic but awww you never made it to Barbie stardom. Has been get a life in the nursing home where you really do belong!

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