Michelle: Discussing Heath Felt 'Unsafe'
By PopEater Staff Posted Sep 15th 2009 12:15PM
Michelle Williams finds it hard to talk about Heath Ledger -- her former fiance with whom she has a daughter named Mathilda -- who tragically died early last year. "I didn't know what my boundaries were for a long time, which made interviews feel very unsafe. I can talk about grief, because that's mine; about single parenting; about trying to balance work and kids. But what I don't have to talk about is what happened between Heath and me in our relationship," she tells Vogue in the October issue. More Inside
Michelle in Vogue
"Brokeback Mountain' was an unrepeatable moment in time, a very charmed time in my life. I was in love; I was in a movie I was proud to be a part of, and with a beautiful brand-new baby. Everything was good in that moment," Michelle Williams says in an interview with Vogue where she talks candidly about coping with her ex-fiance Heath Ledger's death.
Coping after Ledger's untimely death: "I was holding it together by a string and a paper clip in the fall and winter. I didn't know if I could keep it all together... You console yourself by saying it's all a deepening process. But it's wired. After the first year, the pain is less intense; it's less immediate. But the magical thinking goes away too. And that's a whole new reckoning. But every time I really miss him and wonder where he's gone, I just look at [Mathilda.]"
The happy times: "'Brokeback Mountain' was an unrepeatable moment in time, a very charmed time in my life. I was in love; I was in a movie I was proud to be a part of, and with a beautiful brand-new baby. Everything was good in that moment."
Dealing with the paparazzi presence: "It's because of this tragedy that there's more paparazzi. That is hard to be graceful and understanding about... It's hard to be the man and the woman in that [paparazzi] situation. Heath always used to do that for us."
Falling in love: "I thought falling in love again was the only thing that was going to save me from the pain. This erroneous idea: It just makes things more complicated."
What the future holds: "I feel hopeful and grateful. For a while I thought we had lost everything. It makes you want to love better and live better."
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