The David Letterman Playbook: How To Handle a Sex Scandal Like a Pro

By Jo Piazza Posted Oct 6th 2009 09:00PM

David Letterman has been pretty much on the up and up dealing with the sex scandal currently rocking his world. The fact that he hasn't been hung out to dry just yet makes us here at PopEater want to create a little primer for past and future famous cheaters (mainly a few politicians out there ... you know who you are) on how to maintain your dignity when America gets a bird's eye view into your bedroom (or your pullout couch). It won't always be pretty, as Letterman has shown, but there are a few tricks for survival. Here's a look at Dave's playbook.

Stay Local: Letterman gets props for not skipping town. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford went AWOL for seven days, told his wife and staff (and several newspaper reporters) that he was hiking the Appalachian trail and he flew to Argentina to see his mistress. "Instead of lying about hiking in the Appalachian trails while they are off with their mistress, people should address their scandals with a dose of honesty," says Stacy Schneider, a criminal defense attorney and author of 'He Had It Coming: How to Outsmart Your Husband and Win Your Divorce.'

Outtakes From Sanford's Press Conference

Come Clean Early: For months, John Edwards denied having an affair with documentary filmmaker Rielle Hunter, saying "The story is false. It is completely untrue." He even forced a campaign staffer to confess to the affair on his behalf. "Letterman's head-on approach paid off. Because he was not 'in denial', as most scandalized politicians seem to be, about the chances the media would get its hands on the story and the public will learn the truth, he got to present his side, his way," Schneider tells PopEater.

John Edwards Comes Clean to Bob Woodruff

Leave Your Wife at Home: Letterman may have apologized to his wife Regina during his Late Show monologue, but he at least allowed her the dignity to steer clear of the cameras, unlike former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer who dragged his wife Silda onstage with him as he revealed he was spending time with prostitutes. OR former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey who made his wife Dina stand at his side as he declared himself a "gay American." Career and dating coach Tracey Steinberg thinks Letterman deserves only minor props for this one. "While it is true that he didn't drag his wife before the cameras like Spitzer and McGreevey, he wouldn't be in this situation if he had treated her with respect throughout their 10-plus-year relationship," Steinberg tells us.

Spitzer Resigns With Silda at His Side

McGreevey Resigns in August of 2004

Don't Get Into Icky Details: It was plenty of information when Letterman told America he had sex with women on his staff. For some people, even that might have been too much detail. But it was still better than when Bill Clinton got into the semantics of what did and did not count as sex with Monica Lewinsky. "Clinton was trying to con his way out of trouble, trying to get away with something elicit right up until the very last minute so of course he would use semantics and rhetoric," explains psychologist and author of 'Been There, Done That, Kept the Jewelry', Cooper Lawrence to PopEater. "Dave was interested in being up front right from the very beginning. If you are going to be honest, you don't need rhetoric and semantics, you need plain language."

Bill Clinton Answers Lewinsky Accusations on Jan. 26, 1998

Of course at the end of the day maybe Dave should just borrow a move from NBA star Kobe Bryant's playbook and buy his wife a big honkin' diamond ring. Pro athletes always seem to handle scandal the best. Want More Sex Scandals? See Whose Are Worse: Democrats' or Republicans'

Tags: david letterman, david letterman scandal, david letterman sex scandal, DavidLetterman, DavidLettermanScandal, DavidLettermanSexScandal

Comments

(34)

Tuesday 13 October

By Jan Nelson

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David Letterman absolutely is one of the worst examples of what it means to be a "man." For an adult to say that he didn't realize rhat his actions would result in tremendous hurt is laughable. I have always thought that he is extremely unkind and egotistical. His abomidable actions of recent date underline his awful persona as a human being. I feel so sorry not only for his wife, but for his son. He is a terrible father figure. I hope he is fired and is never heard from again. No wonder Jay Leno received the job as Host of the Tonight Show. The powers that be obviously saw through to the real Letterman--a jackal.

Tuesday 06 October

By Dan

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The future Christian Republican Strategy. Democrats have the guts to quit............

Wednesday 07 October

By tio

Politicians, celebrities and their sex scandals. they will never learn!

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By Bob

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So, looks like Letterman is eating crow after the Palin hoopla. What a hypocrite. LMAO

By phil

Ok Dave. You say you should apologize and come clean to the people you've hurt. I will believe you when you make amends to Governor(former)Sara Palin for crudely attacking her daughter. As a father, I could not forgive or ever forget your cheap attempt at humor by attacking a child. Coward.

By Blue Dog

SLEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Edwin

Absolute Hypocrite, like most Liberal Democrats. "Do as I say, Not as I do"!

By Bonbon

David the perv and cheater and hypocrite should quit the show, take Barry Hussein and Nancy (big eyes) Pelosi with him!!

By Jodi

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Can't wait to see Dave's show tonight!

By GET REAL

LETTERMAN IS A LEFT WING LIBERAL WHITE TRASH MALE WHORE.

THE TRUTH HAS NOT BEEN TOLD AND LETTERMAN KNOWS IT.

HE JOKINGLY TELLS HIS "POOR ME! I AM THE VICTIM STORY" TO HIS AUDIENCE WHICH LAUGHED JUST LIKE THE BRAINLESS IDIOT HE IS.

HE USED THESE WOMEN AND CBS AS TOYS.

BOYCOTTE HIS SHOW AND CBS AS BOTH ARE FULL OF TRASH.

LETTERMAN: TWO MILLION DOLLARS WILL BE A DROP IN THE BUCKET WHEN THE LAW SUITS START FLYING.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND LETTERMAN.

By doris

It seems clear that Haldeman wanted a check(?) as proof of his claims so he could then sell his story to the scandal sheets for a lot more money.
As for the woman she used men to her own purposes

By Steve

Letterman is a classic Narcissist, always playing the victim no matter what they do to others. Dave has been exposed as a hypocrite, and his apology was both fake and contrived. I'm not a fan of Palin but his comment about her daughter was uncalled for. YOU DON"T GO AFTER OTHER PEOPLES KIDS. Every other late night comedian had the sense not to make a remark like that. Stupid, no talent Letterman deserves all the ridicule he gets.

Does anyone remember his mean skit about Rachael Ray over a year ago? He was insulting her, made a comment about the "cra**er" and had a flushing toilet icon. It was crass and not even funny. The ugly old man has a problem with attractive women.

Thursday 08 October

By Mark

I hope he has a number of sexual harrassment suits from both the male and female staff that he crossed the line with as their boss.

By Terry

Sure psychopaths handle problems like a pro because they have NO remorse. Letterman is an ugly power hungry pig, I hope he falls and gets what he deserves the fat piggy psychopath.

By johnswife173

I like Dave...always have.....I like his kind of humor....I remember when he would always tell people that he was "bad" at marriage and thats why he shouldn't get married. I know he loves his family very much and its a shame things have come to this. My prayers are with him and his family and hope things will work out for them. And thats all I'm going to say.......

By Arlingnne

All our acts have consequences (obvious). Is easy to know it . How many times we remembered to others about that, but is not enough ...for our self . Our intelligent is weak...and in a moment that the memory can be lost we believe that all is easy and recommendable and good but we didn't think what will occur after that minimal satisfaction? things that all our life will carry . Then... the words can not repair the hurts and the time run very slowly to forget the bad decisions. I'm sorry for families friends and dearest. ...but the bad is bad ...irreversible. I don't believe in extortion ...I believe that all occult in an exact time will be appear

By slash

Wait until the news comes out that Letterman takes it in the ass. What will his fans say ?

By maris

david letterman is not funny. most of his stuff is a rip off of jay leno who is actually funny. i don't why he has it in for sara palin or her family or just women in particular. hey dave your mother raised a mean spirited moron. i guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. i guess you might not thinks is so funny huh dave. or your mother is so dumb she thinks you do comedy for a living. it is not so funny when people say mean things and you get away with away night.

By Debbie Penland !

P-U-L-E-E-SE...GET THIS FRIGGIN' L-O-S-E-R OFF TELEVISION!!! HE'S N-E-V-E-R BEEN EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY...AND MY WORD...THESE "WOMEN" THAT HAVE L-O-W-E-R-E-D THEMSELVES TO EVEN GIVE THIS "BUCK-TOOTHED EGO-MANIAC" ANYTHING O-T-H-E-R THAN AN "EQUAL DAY'S WORK FOR AN EQUAL DAY'S P-A-Y...SHOULD NOT ONLY BE "CHECKED FOR STD'S"...BUT ALSO..."MENTAL ILLNESS"!!! WHAT A "TRUE CREEP AND JERK" THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A "M-A-N" TRULY I-S! ANY STATION THAT WOULD CONTINUE TO "EMPLOY" HIM NEEDS TO BE "BOYCOTTED" UNTIL HE IS "G-O-N-E...GONE LIKE THE WIND"!!!

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