'Dance' Judge Mary Murphy Recalls 9 Years of Abuse

By PopEater Staff Posted Oct 15th 2009 09:07AM

'So You Think You Can Dance' judge Mary Murphy's 9-year marriage was a seemingly never-ending nightmare, punctuated with repeated beatings, rapes, emotional abuse and a miscarriage, she tells Us Weekly in a bombshell-filled interview.

Murphy, 51, alleges her unnamed ex would physically abuse her and then demand sex. She claims he raped her for the first time about three months into their marriage.

"I was like, 'Are you kidding me?! We're fighting here!' He said, 'You're my wife, and you'll do what I tell you!' I pulled out a kitchen knife and screamed, 'You're going to have to stab me, because I'm not having sex with you!' He knocked it out of my hands, held me down and raped me."

From then, a horrifying pattern of violence emerged, she claims.

"A fight, then rape, then presents: a dress, a diamond bracelet, earrings. In the first year or two, I'd fight back, but eventually, I'd just lie there. Get it over with, I thought. It'll be quick anyway."

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Mary Murphy Pics

LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 29: TV Personality Mary Murphy and Actress Jenna Dewan speak onstage during the Rock A Little, Feed Alot benefit concert held at Club Nokia on September 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Mary Murphy;Jenna Dewan

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Mary Murphy Snapshots

LOS ANGELES - SEPTEMBER 29: (L-R) Mary Murphy and Jenna Dewan onstage during the "Rock A Little Feed A Lot" Benefit Concert held at Club Nokia on September 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frank Micelotta/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Mary Murphy;Jenna Dewan

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LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 29: TV personality Mary Murphy arrives at the Rock A Little, Feed Alot benefit concert held at Club Nokia on September 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Mary Murphy

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The shocking account is being called "flat-out lies" by her ex-husband, whose name is currently being withheld. He is described as coming from a wealthy Middle Eastern family.

She walked around with "black eyes and bruises" for years, but she "never called the police or went to the hospital. I didn't want anybody to know."

In 1982, the TV judge says she suffered a miscarriage four months into a pregnancy. His response was to cast blame on her.

"My husband was disgusted, saying I murdered our baby, because I'd done some light dancing the night before. I was sinking deeper and deeper at that point, just reeling into despair."

After discovering he had proposed to another woman from the Middle East, in addition to having a second mistress in Germany, Murphy finally left the man in 1985.

When their divorce became finalized, she "never heard from him again."

Tags: mary murphy, MaryMurphy, so you think you can dance, SoYouThinkYouCanDance

Comments

(172)

Thursday 15 October

By jocee

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WOW! You are an idiot! I hope the tables turn for you soon so you can learn from experience!

By adivanai

Joe you are an Control Freak!!!! Iknow because I lived with one.... You are even saying the same words he said... Please GET SOME HELP!!!!!

By Joanna

I was abused for ten years and finally had the sense to leave before I married or had children with the man not 1 person knew in all that time I was so ashamed but when I told people I could not stop it was ten years of being quiet pouring out, If her telling her story helps just one person man or women then its worth it.The media influences people every day and if its for the good for once I am all for it. Just glad she survived or you would not even know or care about her now. If you have never been there you can not even begin to imagine

By Jocee

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You don't hit PERIOD!

By Joe

what' the matter Dan you one of those pansises that can't stand up to these liberal feminists/

By Reena

Joe - from your posts, I would say you have no room to talk - sounds like you need to grow a pair yourself...you didn't exactly stand up for yourself with your "verbally abusive" woman, now did you??? I don't think verbal abuse is right in any way, but your answer to it is to retaliate with physical abuse?? your quote: "Women think it is ok to scream at men call us names verbally abuse us but God forbid we hit the defenseless lady". You need to be a man and stand up for yourself! you sound like a baby who just sat there and let the woman you love rip you a new one. What happened to your voice Joe?? or your legs?? why couldn't you just walk away?? I've been in both a verbally abusive and physically abusive relationship (and no Joe, I didn't "ask" for it)and let me tell you, I'd much rather be yelled at/called names than to have a fist come at my face over and over again.

By joe

Just where did I say she deserved it? where did I ay rape is ok, what I said is she needed to take responsibility for HER actions you ladies probably abuse your spouses every day you just don't like the label that I put on it. Women think it is ok to scream at men call us names verbally abuse us but God forbid we hit the defenseless lady. I'm certain she got in a hit or 2.

By Peachy

WoW, Really Joe? I can just about bet you are one of those men who think a woman shouldn't speak unless she's spoken too. And if she speaks out of turn, you give her a beating huh? I am in shock, I can not believe you could think like that, much less Type it. I bet your Mother is just glowing with pride.

By Saywhat

I agree no one deserves to be a abused...but i also believe no one deserves to be falsely accused of abuse. Currently, more and more woman have been stepping up and speaking out against abuse. It's a big step to admit it, but at least they are starting to deal with it and are willing to get help for the trauma they've suffered. However, the downside is many women are starting to exploit this violent behavior by falsely claiming abuse in cases where it did not exist. No one is willing to call a 'victim' a liar, but if abusive signs do not exist, what are we supposed to conclude? I just hope that the woman exploiting this serious matter realize that their lies have negative effects on people men and women alike taking this matter seriously. It's easy for one party in a couple to 'cry abuse' if during an argument, names are exchanged because of infidelity, stealing, or misunderstandings, however, it needs to be understood that unless this type of behavior exists every moment of everyday, there is a clear line between arguments and verbal abuse.

By DESIREE

Joe it doesn't matter if she yelled at him or not he has no right to put his hands on her at all the is no excuse for abuse any kind of abuse whether it be physical, emotional, verbal or mental abuse. and as far as the gifts it doesn't sooth or make anything better, it is just better to accept them and not argue cause it only leads to another beaten. I for one was abused for 10 years in all aspect of the word abused. you have no ides the feeling it leaves in you after the person you love beats the crap out of you. my 1st beaten was when i was 6 months pregnant with my son and i didnt provoke him i was home sleeping and he came in and jumped on my stomach and started beating the crap out of me, so what r u gonna say i yelled at him in my sleep thats bullsit no matter what people should keep their hands to themselves and i didnt talk about it when it was happening to me sometimes your affraid to tell anyone as they may judge you like you are judging her and then if someone approaches the guy. Lets say it was happening to you your wife or girlfriend was abusing you how would you feel then if someone said to you oh you must of yelled at her and you deserved the beaten .. what would you say to them

By Reggie Wagstaff

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Mary Murphy is a disturbed and offensive woman. How she wound up a a host/judge on anything is a mystery. Her husband must have been disappointed and frustrated at what he'd done by marrying her.

By ramsheadmr

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He should be hunted down and have his ball cut and a brand put on his forhead for doing something like that. Anyone who hurts some like he did should have a brand on there forheads so all can see what dogs they are.

By DV Survivor

I understand. My ex husband did the same to me. 2 of my children were a result of rape. What made my situation worse is that he's a police officer. When we got divorce, San Diego court gave him everything including our kids who he abused as well. It has been 10 years and he still harass and threatens me where I live in fear with no help from anyone.

sure you lost everything to some guy because he is a cop and your a saint!

Joe,

You are unreal. Cops are the biggest abusers of them all. Just as military personnel. Wake up. Anyone who knows me or my situation can tell you that I am a people person, friendly and will give you the shirt off my back to help you when you need help. Dealing with a husband or ex-husband who is a cop is difficult to get anyone to listen to you even if you have hospital records and statements against him. My neighbors was in court and wanted to testify how he beat me down in our front yard and my neoghbors tried to stop him. I ended up with severed fingers, black eyes and busted lip. He never went to jail for it and the blame was placed on me. I never did anything to provoke it. I was trying to cut my sons hair

By Been There

You have no business posting a message like that if you haven't lived through the horror of an abusive relationship. You don't know the shame of feeling like you are sub-human because someone you love is beating you physically or emotionally.

So, unless you have walked in her shoes, and I HAVE, you need to shut your mouth and keep walking on down the road. You are showing your ignorance making a stupid and thoughtless remark like that!

By sylvia

Joe, you are stupid as hell!! The abuser always finds a way to belittle control,and break the abused's self confidence, makes them feel like the abuse is their fault and isolates them from family and friends. I hope you get something Viagra won't cure. You are a disgrace to the human race.

By Ak

Her screaming and yelling drove me away from watching the show.

hey been there read my post I have been there verbally abused for years

By tom

Agree with you Joe to a large degree. I mean its insan- all u said was that two can tango. I mean I'm surprised in all the male rebuttals. Of course no one should have to take years of black eyes and abuse. Makes you wonder why she picked this guy.But there's no balance on this board.

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