Speaking out for the first time on television since the death of her husband Patrick Swayze, Lisa Niemi, the 'Dirty Dancing' star's wife of 34 years is opening up to Oprah Winfrey about her loss.

Niemi, who married Swayze while both were still in their 20s, says that when Swayze was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, "it was mind numbing." She goes on to tell Winfrey that "you think you're going to get these terrific illuminations," she says (via PEOPLE), but that didn't happen. "I looked around and I said, 'This is awful.' "