Singer Copes With His Daughter's Death

By PopEater Staff Posted Nov 13th 2009 04:30PM

Christian music singer Steven Curtis Chapman is still coping with the death of his adopted daughter, 5-year-old Maria, who was accidentally struck in the family's driveway by one of her brothers who was returning home in his truck in May 2008.

Chapman, who has been singing Christian music for more than 20 years, told CNN that he felt like he was in a black hole and faced with a God he had not known before. Everything he thought about God was different, he said, and he began to wrestle with his beliefs.

An investigation called the tragedy an accident and no charges were filed. Maria was rushed to the hospital in Nashville, but died of her injuries there. The accident occurred on May 21, 2008 at Chapman's home in Franklin, Tennessee. Maria had been playing behind the family's home when she ran towards her brother's truck and was struck.

Chapman's wife, Mary Beth, told him they had to accept her destiny. "It was after a few minutes that my wife, with her hand on my shoulder, said, 'I really think we are supposed to let her go for now,'" Chapman said to CNN.

In the days after Maria's death, the whole family -- Chapman, his wife, their two sons, their daughter and two other adopted daughters -- grieved together. Chapman couldn't imagine his life without his daughter.

He recalls the instant connection he had when he met her in her native China while she was an infant. He and his wife had already adopted two children from there, and weren't looking for another. But Maria "touched a special place in my heart," and he called his wife just to tell her about the baby girl. "I can't put it into words, but I've picked up a lot of little orphan boys and girls over the years," he said. "I've never had anything happen to my heart like what happened when I held this little girl in my arms for a few minutes."

Although Chapman doubted he would want to write and sing again, he slowly put his fears and hopes into music. Even though he didn't plan on doing an album, songwriting was helping him heal. "Songs are really cathartic for me," he said, "because they force me to put my feelings and thoughts into a capsule and say, 'There it is.' "

The raw, emotional journey he recorded will now be his 19th album, entitled 'Beauty Will Rise.' The album is his personal testament to Maria's life and the overwhelming belief that they will be together again one day, he said.

With his raw emotions splattered across the album, Chapman said, "It just felt like that's honest. This is life going on. It's the day-to-day pain, just walking the journey."

When asked by CNN what song he thought would be Maria's favorite, Chapman paused for a while. Then he thought of the title track, "Beauty Will Rise." "She likes loud, she liked it fast," he said, the smile returning to his voice. "She likes the one with all the energy and the one she could bounce in the car to."

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Steven Curtis Chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman performs onstage at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville. More photos >>

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Steven Curtis Chapman Photos

Musician Steven Curtis Chapman onstage at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Pre-Telecast Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Rick Diamond/WireImage.com To license this image (57264240), contact WireImage.com

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Musician Steven Curtis Chapman performs onstage at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Show Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Rick Diamond/WireImage.com To license this image (57261789), contact WireImage.com

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Mary Beth Chapman and Steven Curtis Chapman onstage at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Show Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Rick Diamond/WireImage.com To license this image (57264019), contact WireImage.com

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Musician Steven Curtis Chapman poses in the press room at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Press Room Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Frederick Breedon/WireImage.com To license this image (57262155), contact WireImage.com

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Musicians Brandon Heath and Steven Curtis Chapman poses in the press room at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Press Room Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Frederick Breedon/WireImage.com To license this image (57262168), contact WireImage.com

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Musicians Michael W. Smith and Steven Curtis Chapman backstage at the 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards held at the Grand Ole Opry House on April 23, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee. 40th Annual GMA Dove Awards - Backstage Grand Ole Opry House Nashville, TN United States April 23, 2009 Photo by Rick Diamond/WireImage.com To license this image (57264326), contact WireImage.com

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Songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman attends the 2009 EMI Grammy after party held at SLS Beverly Hills Hotel on February 8, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. EMI/Stand Up For A Cure Post Grammy Event SLS Beverly Hills Hotel Los Angeles, California United States February 8, 2009 Photo by Charley Gallay/WireImage.com To license this image (56679235), contact WireImage.com

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LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 08: Musician Steven Curtis Chapman arrives at the 51st Annual Grammy Awards held at the Staples Center on February 8, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Steven Curtis Chapman

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Tags: steven curtis chapman, StevenCurtisChapman

Comments

(225)

Sunday 15 November

By jim

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actually darlin, Most people dont really care what you think about anything, let alone something as personal as adoption. Second, he has not milked this story. Please, if you don't like the message he sings about for over twenty years, then that's cool. But don't be a jerk over someones loss. Bad form there. I bet your life really sucks all the time. You want everyone elses to suck also.

By Ann

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I'm sure the Chinese girls who would otherwise spend their lives growing up in a cold unloving orphan home would disagree with you. If Americans or any others have the means to bring them home and love them when their own country has thrown them away just because they are born a girl, then why not... what's wrong with that? I'm sure you have a family and they want and deserve one too and they will never get that in China! Adopted kids are loved just as much as biological kids... how could you be so cold to say that? I am a fan of Chapman but did not even know this happened until I read this today... if you are so sick of reading it month after month, then stop reading it.

Tuesday 17 November

By Beth

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Your outward testimony proves there is something lacking in your walk with God. If you are professing to be a Christian, I would suggest you rethink your testimony and read your Bible to see what a Christ-like Spirit is. It's certainly is not what you are projecting. What a shame. How sad....

By Chedar888

Lowest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

Though I feel sorry for the Chapman in the sudden death of their beautiful child. Things happen for a reason. There is no such thing as a loving God that emotionally drain a loving father and mother with this kind of accident. Your brain heal itself and tends to forget the devastation. The Chapman should with this lesson turn it into a more educational and preventive incident/accident and awareness to all parents out there.

By Bill E

Gave my son up to God last Saturday night. Out with friends and upon returning home died in auto accident half mile from home. He called me a half hour before the accident to tell me he was fine, tolded me he loved me and would be home soon. Life is hard.

By Debbie

She is such a sweetheart. So cute. I have a grand-daughter her age and they are precious. I am so sorry for your loss. Its so hard to accept that they are gone. Cherish the memories because I too lost the love of my life, last month. Every day I fight to keep from crying, but the tears stream down my face. For me it doesnt get easier, I just cope the best way that I can. I pray a lot for the pain to go away. I also have a supportive family and friends. God Bless you and your grieving family.

By Don S

I remember my cousin Michele saying to me after Pilot Skully was able to land that jumbo jet on the Hudson with the help of God. She also showed me an artists randition of the plane on the water with the hands of God under the wings holding it afloat. Nice jesture, but where were these hands of God when he should have been shooing the birds away from getting caught up in the engine?

By Robin Bean

Steven, I have been struggling with God's decisions of death in my life. The losses that I can not seem to get past. My only peace is that God doesn't make mistakes, our loved ones belong to Him ultimately, He loves them more than we do or know how to, they truly are His creation, and finally, we shall me again, if we remain faithful. Death is an instrument used by God to bring us to himself. All this being said, the pain remains. God be with You.

By angelout

censorship is not cool, why run a Christian article then censor it

By Yvonne Baker

Mr. Chapman,

I can identify with the loss of your daughter. I loss my daughter 18 months ago but it feel just like yesterday. My daughter was 31 years old when she died. She died May 6, 2008 and I feel I lost my mind for a while. However, I thank God for my youngest daughter and my nieces and nephews whom God put into my life to help me through my loss. It still hurt but each day it get a little better. I don't think I will ever get use to not having her around but I have to remember the words of Job, "Thou He slay me, yet shall I trust Him.

I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you will keep me in your prayers. Hopefully, we will see our children again.

Yvonne Baker

By Jill Moore

I know your struggle.My oldest daughter was killed in a terrible "accident" Aug. 14,2008. My heart was and is totally broken. I don't blame God. I know where my beautiful daughter is and she is in a better place than I am. I know I will see her again one day, but I miss her now. She was 24 years young. I struggle not knowing what exactly happened to her.

Sounds to me like you are the one with the hate problem. If other people believing is a problem, then it's your problem. If you can't see the love here, not hate, that other people, strangers, are expressing to Steven and Mary Beth, then you are truly blind about more than just not believing if God. By the way, the scriptures were written long before the "Dark Ages". They have been here since the beginning, when God God sent His son to the world but the "Dark" received Him not. Open your eyes. There is light there, not in the hatred you have in your heart. May God bless you!

By JOANNA

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god...hmmm, god......oh yeah I remember.

MY FAITH WAS ROCK WHEN MY HUSBAND, WHO WAS IN PERFECT HEALTH, DIED AT 50 YEARS OLD.
IT WAS THREE YEARS BEFORE I WENT BACK TO CHURCH.

I EVER SO SLOWLY STARTED TO TRUST IN HIM AGAIN.
THEN HE TOOK MY KID....S0 MUCH FOR god.

A lot of times we "think" our faith is solid as rock until something like this happens. Sometimes it takes something tragic to show us how shallow our faith really is and whether or not we will abandon God. How true is our faith when we abandon it? God is looking out for YOU... He is trying to show you your faith might not be genuine. I understand the anger, have had it myself, though my faith was strong and quick to blame God. But if you turn from God, how will you be with your husband and child again? If they are their with God, then they are waiting for you. How disappointed they will be to learn you turned your back because of their deaths? Don't do this.. take the faith you began with and keep going on with it. Try to let God lead you and not your own emotions. I know it's hard and am so sorry you miss your loved ones, but don't miss them for eternity... be there! I want to see you there too!

Monday 16 November

By aarh

I would much rather go through any of any hardaches w/ God, than to try to face it alone. This world is too much for us to bear on our own. I now those are tough losses, & I don't claim to understand why things like that happen. I lost my cousin, & felt I should have been there so that maybe I could stop it. It's much better to lean on Him for strength...instead of blaming Him for everything that goes wrong in our live.

By Debbied

You are heartless. You never get over the loss of a child. And we are all God's children, chinese, african, italian. God doesn't see color or race. The Chapman's adored their daughter and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting otherwise.

No God? Hmmm. your screenname is significant here. And it is a great question. I might would ask where was the good german people? but even that is unfair.

The Holocaust happened. Steven Chapmans daughters death happened. No less a tradegy. But God is there. He used the Holocaust to bring Israel into life.

I will pray for you, even though you dont want me to.

By milahanna

Explain that to those who have actually had God reveal himself to them. Also, your assumptions are false since scripture does not teach hate by any stretch of the imagination. It actually clearly teaches the opposite.

By cappy g

god bless this guy -- this is the saddest story I have ever read..so so sad...

By TIM

I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LOSE A DAUGHTER.IT'S BEEN 11 YEARS SINCE OUR DAUGHTER WAS KILLED. WE MISS OUR LITTLE BABY FRAN EVERYDAY. SHE WAITS FOR US IN HEAVEN NOW. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY EACH DAY......

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