Why You're Searching for "Paula Deen Hit with Ham," "DJ Matthew Roberts," and "Kate Hudson Wardrobe Malfunction"

DJ Matthew Roberts – "I'm a peaceful person – trapped in the face of a monster," Matthew Roberts tells The Sun. The 41-year-old L.A. DJ only recently discovered that he is the son of Charles Manson, who raped his birth mother two years before leading the Manson Family on the murderous rampage that killed Sharon Tate and several others. Since discovering the identity of his father, the two have exchanged numerous letters all of which daddy signs with a Swastika. "He's my biological father," Roberts says. "I can't help but have some kind of emotional connection. That's the hardest thing of all – feeling love for a monster who raped my mother." Check out the DJ's MySpace page right here.

Adam Lambert Performance Video – A lewd fiasco of epic proportions or a shining triumph of showmanship? The world can't make up its mind. That's the definition of controversy, and if we've learned anything, nothing gets you attacking the Google machine quite like controversy. The video is totally worth watching. As long as you're not offended by gratuitous crotch grabs, same-sex makeout sessions, and simulated felatio.

Paula Dean Hit with Ham – If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you can't dodge the hog, don't handle the ham. We coined that second one ourselves (pat on the back). Food Network celeb Paula Dean was offering a helping hand at a charity Thanksgiving food load-up in Atlanta over the weekend when an errant ham hock smacked the the lady square in the face. It was caught on film, mostly, as Dean runs out of the frame clutching her nose. Luckily she avoided major injury, telling CBS later, "Ran head on to a hog. I think it might have hit maybe just right where, I thought it busted my lip, but it didn't."

Erin Andrews Peep Pictures – The sexy sideline reporter just wants this whole stalker episode to end. But first she's got to put Michael David Barrett behind bars. He's currently facing federal charges for interstate stalking after following Andrews to hotels across the country and modifying keyholes(!) so that he could videotape Playboy's "Sexiest Sportscaster" in various blurry states of undress. He posted seven tapes online after failing to sell the footage to sites like TMZ, and you can try to hunt down the illicit footage if you like, though we don't much condone it. The trial starts in January.

Kate Hudson Wardrobe Malfunction – Remember when the term "wardrobe malfunction" was coined? How could you not. The 2004 Super Bowl half-time show will go down in history as one of the greate... ergh most scandalous onstage performances of all-time. Kate Hudson nearly had a Janet moment at the American Music Awards last night. Nearly, but not quite. While introducing the Black Eyed Peas alongside Nicole Kidman, the 30-year-old actress nearly slipped out of her skimpy sequined dress. Check the photos. You call it a malfunction, we call it a sexy dress doing its job.

Jennifer Lopez at the AMAs – Stars fall all the time. Beyonce fell pretty hard back in 2007. President Gerald Ford fell REALLY hard while exiting Air Force One back in 1975. The Leonids just happened (get it, stars falling!?). And yeah, Jennifer Lopez fell while jumping off a human staircase at the AMAs last night. It's really not a big deal. Especially considering she popped back up quicker than a Pop Tart toasted in hyperspeed. But when stars fall, we watch. We just can't help it. So we don't much blame you for making the "J.Lo Falls" vid the most watched thing on the internet right now. We do blame you for turning Octomom into a celebrity. Damn you for that.