Photos: Imagine These Dysfunctional Hollywood Thanksgivings

By Jo Piazza Posted Nov 25th 2009 11:59PM

Thanksgiving is a time of turkey and stuffing, football and family drama. And at PopEater we like to maximize that drama. So we got to thinking, what if we could bring together our favorite 2009 Hollywood disasters at one dinner table? Who would sit next to who? Whatever would they talk about? PopEater creates the ultimate Thanksgiving seating chart for our boldfaced fantasy Thanksgiving, with some suggested topics of conversation to keep everyone from commenting on how dry mom's turkey is. See whom we're seating next to whom at our virtual feast:

Jon Gosselin and Chris Brown

We doubt Jon is welcome at his own 'Plus 8' Thanksgiving table. We're sure he has been jointly banned by both Kate and the TLC empire. Jon can counsel Chris on how to survive being one of the most despised dudes in the country. Chris can share with Jon how one should not deal with the women in his life if he expects to improve upon that image.

Kanye West and Taylor Swift

Because nothing says "I forgive you for stealing my VMA thunder" like breaking bread together. Note to Kanye: Don't tell Taylor that Beyonce makes a meaner cranberry sauce than she does.

Jay Leno and Howard Stern

Howard is up in arms about Jay stealing material from him, but what will happen when Jay steals his super secret stuffing recipe?

Kendra Wilkinson and Kourtney Kardashian

Each will try to feed each other more turkey in hopes that the other will fall asleep long enough for one to have birth and finally land on a tabloid cover alone for once.

Carrie Prejean and Tara Connor

You forgot about Tara Connor didn't you? The disgraced beauty queen who got shipped off to rehab by the Trumpster. We are putting these two next to each other in hopes they'll collaborate on the best disgraced beauty queen memoir of all time, "High on Arrival During My Solo Sex Tape."

Michael Lohan and Michelle Williams

M-Lo needs an opportunity to say to Michelle: Sorry I defiled the memory of the late father of your child by announcing he dated my daughter.

Mackenzie Phillips, Andre Agassi and Jodie Sweetin

"Meth, meth, I slept with my dad." No one else will be able to keep down the sweet potatoes if they have to listen to this crew drone on about their personal struggles one more time.

Ashlee Simpson and Perez Hilton

Ashlee "Don't Call My Sister Fat" Simpson called out the queen of all gossip Perez Hilton as a loser this year after he wrote on his site that she and hubby Pete Wentz had gotten into a drunken brawl. But can't they come together across the table to drink some wine and bond over how crappy "Melrose Place" will continue to be when Ashlee is forced to vacate her bungalow?

Johnny Depp and George Clooney

"I'm the sexiest man alive."

"No, I'm the sexiest man alive."

"No, I am."

"No, I am."

"OK, neither's right. Brad Pitt is the sexiest man alive."

Want More Holiday Awkwardness? Check Out the Most Uncomfortable Holiday Meals Scenes in Movies Ever >>>

Comments

(7)

Wednesday 25 November

By My AOL

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Why the turkey? No one in Hollywood eats anyway.

By Hugh

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Two things: That Perez Hilton is one ugly faggot, and Jay Leno's "Jaywalking" segment is a direct ripoff from Howard Stern. End of story.

By barb

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LOLOLOL...This is SOOOO true!!!

Friday 27 November

By gobluespartyon

Your wrong Hugh Jay didn't steal Jaywalking from Howard and it isn't a ripoff either Howard ripsoff from Jay that is a fact. Get your facts right Hugh.

I always like your These Dysfunctional Hoolywood Thankgiving.