Why You're Searching for "Meredith Baxter Birney," "Transgressions," and "Joan Najbar"

By Sam Brand Posted Dec 2nd 2009 07:59PM

Wondering why "Meredith Baxter Birney," "Transgressions," "Cassandra Sproch," and "Joan Najbar" are surging in Google Trends? We can shed some light on the mystery. Google Trends provides the hottest keywords of the hour. Though the results change frequently, the list offers a snapshot of what's hot in the world of entertainment news. Here's what's steamin' tonight...

Transgressions – "Transgressions" is the new "sexual relations," though Google was just a beta baby when those words were uttered by our 42^nd President in 1998. It's the indecipherable cheater's catchphrase of the moment. It's an admission of guilt on Tiger's behalf, of sorts, but not the all-out confession we've been looking for. Not that we necessarily deserve the whole truth. What's going on between Tiger, his wife and the perhaps dozens of women across the geography of the PGA Tour with whom he "transgressed" is a private affair. He doesn't owe it to us to paint every last detail of what went down. But he might owe it to online gamblers who put a wager on whether or not Tiger would come clean. Bookmaker.com offers "Tiger Woods admits on having an affair" at +330. "He will buy her an expensive ring a la Kobe Bryant" is offered at +550.

Tiger Woods Affairs Voicemail – If that's not Tiger's voice, we don't know whose it is. And Tiger hasn't denied Jaimee Grubbs' allegation that it's the superstar golfer on the line. The only lady mentioned in his public apology is his wife Elin Nordegren, and he says physical violence played no role in the accident that kicked this whole escapade into gear. It's still unclear whether Elin spotted Jaimee's number on the phone bill and whether the 24-year-old cocktail waitress changed her message before Lady Woods gave her a call. Maybe Jaimee even got on the line with Elin, and if so, maybe she recorded the conversation. We knew this scandal was far from over, but you never know in what direction it will go next.

Joan Najbar – Minnesota military mom and notorious anti-war activist Joan Najbar received a shocking piece of mail in 2006. It was her own letter sent out weeks earlier to her son stationed in Iraq, returned, unopened, and stamped in red with "DECEASED." She got in touch with son Sam hours after receiving the letter, and it turns out he was alive and well, though according to her "being shot at in Baghdad." Now Najbar is suing the federal government for what she calls "somebody's cruel little joke."

Meredith Baxter Birney – The mama from 'Family Ties' is no longer married to actor/director David Birney. They divorced in 1990, a year after 'Family Ties' got punted off the air. Now the recently outted lesbian is just Meredith Baxter. But she may soon become Meredith Baxter Locke. She cites her 4 year relationship with building contractor Nancy Locke as the reason she decided to come out of the closet. Check here for "5 Clues From 'Family Ties' that Meredith Baxter Birney was Gay All Along."

Cassandra Sproch – Cassandra Sproch was one of those cool teachers. Maybe she was too cool for her own good. The Pittsburgh dance instructor allegedly invited several underage students into her home, served them wine, and then attempted to sexually assault a pair of young gentlemen. Now she's being charged with indecent assault, corruption and unlawful contact with minors, endangering the welfare of a child and furnishing alcohol to minors. Sometimes being cool is not all that cool at all.

Michelle Obama Ape Woman – The disgusting Photoshop job won't be removed from Google Image search results. So says the Mountain View-based internet giant that refuses, even under the most tasteless circumstances, to let "the beliefs and preferences of those who work at Google, as well as the opinions of the general public... determine or impact our search results." So Michelle Obama Ape Woman stays, and hopefully sends a message to those who come upon it, not that racism is OK, but ugly, and unfortunately, still very much alive in our world today.

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