Rib-Tickling Tiger Woods Jokes Flood the Comedy Marketplace
Last night,
David Letterman returned from vacation armed with
Tiger Woods jokes. As he said, "three months ago, I'd have material for a year!" He was talking about his own cheating scandal, which made his monologue meta and double-edged with meaning. But Dave's not the only one getting in a few good jokes at the golfer's expense:
we take a look at some of the best.
David Letterman
All things considered, Letterman's monologue went pretty light on the golfer. There were no jokes about the sheer volume of alleged mistresses; rather, he entered with subtlety: "Boy, that
Tiger Woods is having some trouble." Perhaps knowing that he couldn't't yet be fully free to make fun of the golfer, Dave enlisted Tom Hanks for the Top Ten List: "Top Ten Ways Tiger Woods Can Improve His Image." Again, Dave went in for self-depreciation. "Maybe I'll learn something for myself." The best joke on the list, though, bared some teeth: "Release list of women he did not have sex with."
'Saturday Night Live'
'SNL' dug into Tiger twice this weekend. Once in a skit featuring Jason Sudeikis as Wolf Blitzer, Blake Lively as Tiger's wife, Elin, and Keenan Thompson as Tiger, and again in the Weekend Update with Seth Myers. Meyer's popped off a few zingers, the best one being: "Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out." But it was the skit featuring Thompson that got the most mileage (
and later, controversy from various domestic violence groups). Playing on the idea that Tiger's crash crash wasn't an accident and was spurned by his enraged wife, the skit featured Tiger giving numerous press conferences confessing to digressions and then going off screen where Elin supposed opens a can of whoop-ass -- culminating in the final scene, which though funny, irk many in the PC set. (
You liked how 'SNL' treated the Tiger story.)
Voicemail Slow Jam
The voicemail for Jaimee Grubbs that forced Tiger's hand was turned into a slow-jam by the folks at Funny or Die. The otherwise innocuous voice mail is turned into an ultra smooth, super cheesy R&B anthem that will never see the light of day on national radio. Still, we think Usher might be jealous.
Just Plain Jokes
A couple of sites have compiled a few of the best and worst Tiger jokes; we especially liked: "Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant," and "Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?" or "Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me."
Wanda Sykes
The outspoken comedian poked fun at his competing ethnicities causing the car accident, but Sykes went further and acted out how she thought the accident that sparked the whole Tiger-Woods-has-a-mistress-fiasco in the first place. We thought it was pretty accurate -- and funny.
Jimmy Kimmel
The late-night host took a different approach: he went to a barbershop and asked real people what they thought happened. The conversation that resulted is honest and funny and true life. Funny Kimmel quote: "Technically Tiger is not black, but for golf he is Wesley Snipes."
Visual Spoofs
Currently making the rounds: a totally obvious
doctored photo of woods with Frankenstein-like stitches on his cheeks and forehead, a golf ball in his ear, and Elin weilding a golf club; slightly classier, a faux E-Card that reads,
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HAHAHAHA THAT IS SO FUNNY..HOW ARE THEY EVER GOING TO TOP THAT ?? UH UH UH I AM # 1 TWO IS NOT A WINNER THREE NOBODY REMEMBERS..UH UH UH
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i thought tiger was after jacks records but, now i think its wilts!!!!!!!!!!!
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At it's lowest and most understandable level, it reduces down to just another famous black guy who simply cannot get enough of those white ladies. They wouldn't even talk to him in high school and college, so now with all his millions and popularity, he's making up for all that lost time. But, at it's highest level, his sponsors will ask themselves if they want him endorsing their products.
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Damn! Tiger IS getting bald!
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There's lots of products he can endorse...Cislis, Viagra, Trojans, KY Superclimax gel, Motel 6, ...
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self-depreciation? it's self-DEPRECATION
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you know something, this doesn't surprise me one bit. nobody thinks that, that is FUNNY. it is not close to being FUNNY. it sucked. and his wife probably beat him with his own club...um...golfing...instrument...
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It's amazing to me how so many people are ready to dance on his grave. I don't think he will ever return to golf, the humiliation is already peaked in gargantuan porportions, so much so that he will never dare to face the light of day again. The whole thing is a tragedy from beginning to end and reveling in someone's misery on top of it all is outrageous to me. How can you find humor in this. Elin has to be mortified, does no one care about her feelings? Or the children?
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Why feel sorry for her? She's the one running after him being abusive! These women know what they are in for when they marry hi-profile atheletes. Now the kids, I understand, but if they wanted to keep it private, then don't run out of the house with golf clubs.
Hey Cal, get off your soap box.
Tiger is the one who gave no second thought to his wife or children. If he had been a good husband and father, none of this would be happening.
He decided to be the cheating husband and father.
So its now open season on Cheetah Woods. He's just been exposed for the piece of crap he actually is.
Hey, I'd do Elin in a heart beat. I think a little redheaded Swedish kid would be rather cute.
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everyone should be slow to judge Tiger Woods. You're sins could find you out
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TIGERS LATEST SCORE 11.HE WILL PROBLELY HIT 18.HES A GOLFER.
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that was funny. lol
Perkins? Are you sure? Looks more like Flying J to me...hope everybody had their Tiger shots! Sorry, Tiger - you asked for it.
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Yeah, his popularity will suffer about as much as Kobe's did.
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Nobody cared about Tiger playing nine holes before?
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I think Tiger might have audio dyslexia ....it's not " Go for a One in hole "
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I wonder how many people would be laughing and making jokes if he had been the one to beat his wife, even for adultery? Not many i imagine.
It would probably evoke memories of OJ.
A double standard if I ever saw one.
Wow, this sure is getting seriously deep for Tiger. As deplorable as his actions are, I worry that he may not be able to handle of the ridicule he is receiving. Anyone who goes all crazy the way he does when his golf game is not going well, is sure not going to be able to take much more of this scrutiny. He would probably be better off to "TALK" so that everyone else would stop or he could at least tell some of side and shed some light on why he behaved the way he did.
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I had sex with my boss on the desk of the president of verizon and it never even made the papers,but she did promote me,,,LOL
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