Rib-Tickling Tiger Woods Jokes Flood the Comedy Marketplace
By Tricia Romano Posted Dec 8th 2009 05:58PM
Last night, David Letterman returned from vacation armed with Tiger Woods jokes. As he said, "three months ago, I'd have material for a year!" He was talking about his own cheating scandal, which made his monologue meta and double-edged with meaning. But Dave's not the only one getting in a few good jokes at the golfer's expense: we take a look at some of the best.
All things considered, Letterman's monologue went pretty light on the golfer. There were no jokes about the sheer volume of alleged mistresses; rather, he entered with subtlety: "Boy, that Tiger Woods is having some trouble." Perhaps knowing that he couldn't't yet be fully free to make fun of the golfer, Dave enlisted Tom Hanks for the Top Ten List: "Top Ten Ways Tiger Woods Can Improve His Image." Again, Dave went in for self-depreciation. "Maybe I'll learn something for myself." The best joke on the list, though, bared some teeth: "Release list of women he did not have sex with."
'Saturday Night Live'
'SNL' dug into Tiger twice this weekend. Once in a skit featuring Jason Sudeikis as Wolf Blitzer, Blake Lively as Tiger's wife, Elin, and Keenan Thompson as Tiger, and again in the Weekend Update with Seth Myers. Meyer's popped off a few zingers, the best one being: "Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out." But it was the skit featuring Thompson that got the most mileage (and later, controversy from various domestic violence groups). Playing on the idea that Tiger's crash crash wasn't an accident and was spurned by his enraged wife, the skit featured Tiger giving numerous press conferences confessing to digressions and then going off screen where Elin supposed opens a can of whoop-ass -- culminating in the final scene, which though funny, irk many in the PC set. (You liked how 'SNL' treated the Tiger story.)
Voicemail Slow Jam
The voicemail for Jaimee Grubbs that forced Tiger's hand was turned into a slow-jam by the folks at Funny or Die. The otherwise innocuous voice mail is turned into an ultra smooth, super cheesy R&B anthem that will never see the light of day on national radio. Still, we think Usher might be jealous.
Just Plain Jokes
A couple of sites have compiled a few of the best and worst Tiger jokes; we especially liked: "Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant," and "Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?" or "Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me."
The outspoken comedian poked fun at his competing ethnicities causing the car accident, but Sykes went further and acted out how she thought the accident that sparked the whole Tiger-Woods-has-a-mistress-fiasco in the first place. We thought it was pretty accurate -- and funny.
The late-night host took a different approach: he went to a barbershop and asked real people what they thought happened. The conversation that resulted is honest and funny and true life. Funny Kimmel quote: "Technically Tiger is not black, but for golf he is Wesley Snipes."
Currently making the rounds: a totally obvious doctored photo of woods with Frankenstein-like stitches on his cheeks and forehead, a golf ball in his ear, and Elin weilding a golf club; slightly classier, a faux E-Card that reads,
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- Paris Hilton
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