Rib-Tickling Tiger Woods Jokes Flood the Comedy Marketplace

By Tricia Romano Posted Dec 8th 2009 05:58PM

Last night, David Letterman returned from vacation armed with Tiger Woods jokes. As he said, "three months ago, I'd have material for a year!" He was talking about his own cheating scandal, which made his monologue meta and double-edged with meaning. But Dave's not the only one getting in a few good jokes at the golfer's expense: we take a look at some of the best.

David Letterman

All things considered, Letterman's monologue went pretty light on the golfer. There were no jokes about the sheer volume of alleged mistresses; rather, he entered with subtlety: "Boy, that Tiger Woods is having some trouble." Perhaps knowing that he couldn't't yet be fully free to make fun of the golfer, Dave enlisted Tom Hanks for the Top Ten List: "Top Ten Ways Tiger Woods Can Improve His Image." Again, Dave went in for self-depreciation. "Maybe I'll learn something for myself." The best joke on the list, though, bared some teeth: "Release list of women he did not have sex with."

'Saturday Night Live'

'SNL' dug into Tiger twice this weekend. Once in a skit featuring Jason Sudeikis as Wolf Blitzer, Blake Lively as Tiger's wife, Elin, and Keenan Thompson as Tiger, and again in the Weekend Update with Seth Myers. Meyer's popped off a few zingers, the best one being: "Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out." But it was the skit featuring Thompson that got the most mileage (and later, controversy from various domestic violence groups). Playing on the idea that Tiger's crash crash wasn't an accident and was spurned by his enraged wife, the skit featured Tiger giving numerous press conferences confessing to digressions and then going off screen where Elin supposed opens a can of whoop-ass -- culminating in the final scene, which though funny, irk many in the PC set. (You liked how 'SNL' treated the Tiger story.)

Voicemail Slow Jam

The voicemail for Jaimee Grubbs that forced Tiger's hand was turned into a slow-jam by the folks at Funny or Die. The otherwise innocuous voice mail is turned into an ultra smooth, super cheesy R&B anthem that will never see the light of day on national radio. Still, we think Usher might be jealous.

Just Plain Jokes

A couple of sites have compiled a few of the best and worst Tiger jokes; we especially liked: "Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant," and "Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?" or "Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me."

Wanda Sykes

The outspoken comedian poked fun at his competing ethnicities causing the car accident, but Sykes went further and acted out how she thought the accident that sparked the whole Tiger-Woods-has-a-mistress-fiasco in the first place. We thought it was pretty accurate -- and funny.

Jimmy Kimmel

The late-night host took a different approach: he went to a barbershop and asked real people what they thought happened. The conversation that resulted is honest and funny and true life. Funny Kimmel quote: "Technically Tiger is not black, but for golf he is Wesley Snipes."

Visual Spoofs
Currently making the rounds: a totally obvious doctored photo of woods with Frankenstein-like stitches on his cheeks and forehead, a golf ball in his ear, and Elin weilding a golf club; slightly classier, a faux E-Card that reads,

Tags: david letterman, DavidLetterman, tiger woods, tiger woods jokes, TigerWoods, TigerWoodsJokes

Comments

(28)

Thursday 10 December

By joe

Vote down Vote up Report this

does she have any more openings? i'd like to apply for the position. hehe

Wednesday 09 December

By TP

Hilarious absolutely hilarious ..!!

Tiger's image is dropping faster than his pants..!!

& of course he deserves even worse..

He's sorry only because he got caught..

By Ian Burt

Tiger probably putted the wrong hole, eleven? boy, I thought it was eighteen.

By CMW

All I want to know is when John Daly and Tiger plan on doing a Hooters Tour....both wearing the same outrageous pants!

By latriace

I would like to know why it is funny that she chased him and casued him to have an accident by hitting the car wih golf clubs? Everyone thinks Chris Brown is a monster, but they feel sorry for her. Why? Isn't this a domestic dispute and an anger management issues as well. Double standards!

Thursday 17 December

By MIKE b

Can't help it. Thoughts race thru one's mind. Like "What is the difference between Tiger and a politician"? Tiger pays for the sex with his own money.

Why is Tiger so good at golfing? Cuz he always gets in 3 extra holes in the hotel room after the game.

Tiger could also get a sponsorship for advertising van. Does Buick make a van? All that extra back seating or the PT Cruiser with it's 26 claimed different seating arrangements. Imagine the possibilities.....

Saturday 19 December

By nick0sm0m

I love how people are making this all about the "beating" and how if it was him beating his wife it would be different and we wouldn't be laughing. That's probably true, but that's not the case. So we are laughing. It is funny to an extent. Why feel sorry for him? He cheated. He's in the public eye, that's the price you pay for fame! He cheated, he got caught, and the world is watching him suffer. If it's okay to watch your proudest moments (winning outings and PGA tours).. you have to learn to go with the bad too. The pain and emotions he may be feeling are the same as anyone who gets caught cheating, but like I said, he's in the public eye. Lesson learned, Tiger.

Wednesday 30 December

By mego

i feel sorry for Elin so hurtful to have a spouse that has so little love or respect for her or the children or the family name What a jerk

Page 2 of 2