The Difference Between Jennifer and Jessica

By Jo Piazza Posted Feb 10th 2010 05:04PM

You can tell a lot about lady based on what their former paramours say about them and the level of regard they hold for them after a breakup. That is especially true for a breakup that plays out in the public eye -- like the one between, say, John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston or John Mayer and Jessica Simpson.

After the post-coital, post-relationship blues begin to set in, the way a guy talks about an ex shows us something about that woman's character. So what can we garner from Mayer's very dishy Playboy confessions about Aniston and Simpson? Jennifer is a lady through and through and Jessica, well Jessica apparently has magic privates.

John said he was sexually addicted to J-Simp. "That girl, for me, is a drug," he said. "And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually, it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."

"John Mayer is a self-proclaimed player who has no boundaries when it comes to sex. He sees these Jessica Simpson types throwing themselves at him all the time and he doesn't respect the big-breasted dumb blondes. That much is clear from his interview," says psychologist Cooper Lawrence. "He takes Jennifer Aniston much more seriously."

When it comes to his sex life with Aniston, Mayer keeps things close to his heart and he speaks about her with a different level of respect.

"We just have a regard for each other's feelings that is pretty intense. It's been a deep relationship, and it's no longer taking place at all. Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons?" Mayer said about his time with the accomplished actress.

"John is comfortable boasting that he used Jessica for sex, but with Jen there is the definite sense that he was the junior partner in the relationship," explains celebrity columnist Ben Widdicombe. "He seems like that kid who'll bully his little sister but is terrified of his mom."

It can be argued that Jessica leaves herself open to this kind of over-exposure about her bedroom habits by putting herself out there on a daily basis. Simpson made her name on a reality television program about her marriage. She is an open book. She tweets about everything! Her overexposure (@JessicaSimpson: "can't believe that I'm on the cover of star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE! 'The Shocking Inside Story' is (insert drumroll) A LIE!"), bowel movements (@JessicaSimpson: "I have indigestion! I'm praying that my last 'thank you' on my list will be for a calm stomach! God I love Texan family cooking though! Burp"), workouts (@JessicaSimpson: "Dear elderly man at the gym: it's hard 4 me 2 keep composure whilst punching at chipmunk speed when ur ball s--- spills out of ur wind shorts") and sexual conquests (@JessicaSimpson: "Bored at the hospital. I think I'm gonna go look for some hot doctors ... Mc Dreamy? McSteamy? Clooney? Let the search begin....").

Wednesday afternoon, Simpson gave a backhanded response to the media maelstrom surrounding the release of Mayer's interview on Twitter: "interesting day so far...hmm... at least I am boxing 2-a-days this week."

In his Playboy talk, Mayer even notes that Aniston has never embraced that kind of blatant overexposure.

"The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter," he said. "I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, 'These are the new rules.'"

Even playing by the old rules of celebrity spillage, before Twitter and Facebook provided an outlet for constant dishing, Aniston tries her best to keep her personal life personal. In the five years since she was cuckolded by Angelina Jolie, the 'Friends' actress has rarely acknowledged the greatest love triangle of our time.

Stay classy Jen. We like you even more now than we did yesterday, and we were already on Team Aniston. And Jess ... please use your sexual napalm for good and not evil.

Tags: jennifer aniston, jessica simpson, John Mayer

Comments

(32)

Wednesday 10 February

By alk

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HATEFUL A "MAN" TALKING ABUT WOMEN,,THAT'S NOT A MAN...BUT THESE GIRLS DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME...THE ONLY MISTAKE OF JENNIFER IS TO FALL FOR A GUY THIS SMALL STATURE..OTHERWISE WE ALL KNOW IN OUR HEART HOW TOUGH SHE HAD IT AFTER THAT HUSBAND-ANGELINA CHEATING AND I REALLY ADMIRE HOW SHE HAS ALWAYS BEHAVED..SHE HAS TOOO MUCH CLASS..AND TROUGH ALL THE FAKE BOYFRIENDS THE MEDIA HAS ATTACHED TO HER

By leroy

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I would say the difference between the two are about 20 or 30 lbs..UH UH UH WHAT ?? WHAT ??

By traci

John Mayer is a pig for mentioning either one of them at all. That information is TMI! Shame on him for talking about Jessica that way, he is digusting! And shame on him for talking about Jennifer in any way at all...like he was such a great catch??? Give me a break. They are both 100% too good for him. Both Jennifer and Jessica would have ended up dumping him anyway! AND, I think it's obvious he knows that!
Sounds to me like he has "small man syndrome"!!!!

Sunday 14 February

By Victoria

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Cooper Lawrence is not a psychologist. You should check your facts.

By desiree

Why is it that a jerk telling stories about his former lover reveals HER character? I think it reveals HIS!

Thursday 11 February

By avc

well said...

By shauna

VERY well said. He had no business saying ANYTHING about either of these women and the fact that this article begins with the statement that what men say about women speaks to the woman's character is ignorant and misogynistic. Stop blaming women when men act like douchbags, Jo.

By REALbarbwire7

He's a moron. Plain and simple. And an immature moran at that.

By mintrubble71

All I can say is Jennifer Aniston's body looks DAMN FINE for a woman of her age (not having kids has no doubt helped). It's too bad her face hasn't held up as well. If her jaw gets any bigger and pointier, a farmer is going to hitch it to a mule and use it to plow fields.

By Elizabeth

you're so rude.

By Kate

Does this woman have any clothes?

By not feelin' john mayer right now

I have liked his recent interviews although he talks about beatin' his meat a little too much. All guys do it. Does he have to keep talkin' about it?

John...you suck for selling these girls out. They don't date you to be dished about in Playboy magazine all so you can sell more records. I thought you were a class act? The way you talk in general keeps me reading however...Did you ask Jessica permission to embarrass her in front of the world? Guess all's fair in love and war...heartbreak warfare

By DB

I can remember an old saying - If a man's got it in his pants, he doesn't shoot it out of his mouth. I guess John Mayer has never heard this one.

By bmk

I think John Mayer is an immature azzz the way he down grades Jess Simpson...grow up John this isn't high school where you brag to your buds about the girls you've done! don't know why any women would want him in the first place...

By Brittney

silence says a thousand words. john's silence on jen's sexual life may speak volumes about why brad left her.

By CherCher

Brittney

John knows better than to speak publicly about Jen's sexuality. He spoke publicly about her once and was punished for it. Look, he would love nothing more than to be back with Jen. If she was bad in bed, why did Brad stay with her so long. If Brad is so happy, why is he drowining his sorrows in alcohol? Look at him and Jen when they were together and look at him now with Angelina, all torn up.

Friday 12 February

By kay

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That's true. Brad looks like crap. Angelina is sucking the juice of life out of him... Angelina looks like a human vampire or like she does voodoo or something. All of that blood drinking, I guess.... Jen looks healthy and sunny. She just hasn't found the right penis yet... she's picky. She doesn't want it curved or veiny.

By Wendell

You can tell a lot about a reporter who thinks you can tell a lot about a lady when her filthy skank ex boyfriend tries to grab some attention by bragging about their liasons. Since when do we take the word of a filthy gossip and say it reveals something about his victim? Both the writer of this article and John Mayer are from the same wallow, and the same sow.

Any woman who can read, and goes out with John Mayer after this, must be illiterate or he is paying her. Why would any woman get intimate with a man who identifies her to the world? I hope he finds himself in the cold for a long time for betraying women who trusted him with their ultimate vulnerability.

By flash

The point all of you are missing is this. The entire story is one gossip columnist take on an interview that this same columnist did not even credit or quote. This entire "article" is a take on peoples character that were never even a part of the article this is based on. Every bit of this is made up for the sake of creating a scandal that does not exist in reality. If you actually read the words of all three of these people, they speak very fondly of each other. This is just trash journalism.

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