Celebenomics: Which of Tiger's Women Handled the Scandal Best?

Rachel Uchitel (Or as we like to call her, mistress #1) – Uchitel was an early entrant into the mistress market, so she gets extra brand recognition points for being the first woman named in connection with the Woods' scandal.

"Did Rachel gain a leg up by being the first to be called out in the Tiger scandal? Absolutely!" says branding expert Erik Mason. "Rachel being the first to enter -- no pun intended -- had a HUGE advantage since any others that fall in line are more or less 'me toos' or imposters."

Rachel was also very press savvy. She increased demand for her personal brand by keeping her trap shut for the past several months. She hired high-profile attorney Gloria Allred and then didn't sue anyone. She called a press conference that never came to fruition. And as all the other ladies over-shared, Rachel maintained her low profile. Now she stands to extend her 15 minutes of fame with a gig as a correspondent on entertainment news show 'Extra.' What's that line again? Slow and steady wins the race?

Jaimee Grubbs – Poor Jaimee never heard the expression "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Grubbs was so fired up when she wasn't named as mistress #1 (who woulda thunk a cheater would also cheat on his girlfriend?) that she gave up all the juice much too quickly, sharing her intimate voicemail and text messages with US Weekly magazine early in the game. Grubbs recently tried to resurrect public interest in her by giving an interview to Los Angeles radio station KTLA, saying she wants an apology from Woods.

"Thinking in terms of 'brand mistress,' Uchitel's was definitely the smarter approach. It's always best to take 'a lady never tells' position. This allows the public to see her as a young woman who may have made a mistake," explains Rochelle Valsaint, the Director of Marketing & Brand Development for TWS Marketing Communications. "The Jamie Grubbs 'kiss and tell' position, on the other hand, highlights her need for the spotlight. As Kanye said, 'I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...' you can finish the rest."

Joining Jaimee in the oversharer club is former waitress Mindy Lawton, party girl Cori Rist and cocktail waitress Jamie Jungers. Hard time keeping them straight? So does everyone else.

Holly Sampson - Here is a porn star who knows her audience. She hasn't tried to diversify her fame through her involvement with Woods. Nope, Sampson is merely trying to capitalize on the scandal within her industry by making a nudie parody flick about it all. Stick with what you know.

Loredana Jolie Ferriolo and Joslyn James - The Italian "model" and the American porn star have both employed a latecomer's Hail Mary strategy to connect their names with the golf phenom, making outrageous claims to gin up publicity. Ferriolo has been trying to sell a tell-all book using her claims that she witnessed Tiger participating in same-sex encounters. James alleges that she became pregnant twice by the golfer, once ending in an abortion and the other ending in a miscarriage. If these girls are smart, they'll use their salacious stories to flip the script on the scandal and try to do something new.

"They key to a creating and maintaining a brand that lasts beyond the so-called 15 minutes of fame is counterintuitive particularly in our 140-character, 24/7 news-cycle. The best strategy, is often to hold back and resist the temptation of spilling the beans all at once, but timing can be tricky," says marketing expert Christopher Lochhead. "A really savvy Tiger mistress would take it entirely the other direction rather than come up with the obvious 'tell all.' She should talk about why having affairs with married men is wrong, advice for young girls not to do what she has done and try to come out the real hero of this whole mess."

Their other option would be to use the name recognition from the scandal into creating a night-club or go-go bar franchise. One possible name comes to mind. Hint: It rhymes with world famous strip club, Scores.

Filed under:
• Gut Reactions
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• Sex That's SFW
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• Troublemakers
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• Celebrity Scandal
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• Celebenomics With Jo Piazza