Celebenomics: Which of Tiger's Women Handled the Scandal Best?

By Jo Piazza Posted Feb 19th 2010 06:50AM

Nothing bequeaths instant notoriety like a good old-fashioned sex scandal. Tiger Woods is well aware of this, and today he will take the first step in cleaning up his image with his press conference and mea culpa. But what about all the ladies? In the case of the Woods' affair(s), the market for mistresses has grown quite competitive. How does one gal differentiate herself from the pack of playmates? Like everything else in celebrity-land, it's all about strategy and branding. Let's take a look at the various strategies these vixens have deployed to try to figure out who came out on top (pun entirely intended).

Rachel Uchitel (Or as we like to call her, mistress #1) – Uchitel was an early entrant into the mistress market, so she gets extra brand recognition points for being the first woman named in connection with the Woods' scandal.

"Did Rachel gain a leg up by being the first to be called out in the Tiger scandal? Absolutely!" says branding expert Erik Mason. "Rachel being the first to enter -- no pun intended -- had a HUGE advantage since any others that fall in line are more or less 'me toos' or imposters."

Rachel was also very press savvy. She increased demand for her personal brand by keeping her trap shut for the past several months. She hired high-profile attorney Gloria Allred and then didn't sue anyone. She called a press conference that never came to fruition. And as all the other ladies over-shared, Rachel maintained her low profile. Now she stands to extend her 15 minutes of fame with a gig as a correspondent on entertainment news show 'Extra.' What's that line again? Slow and steady wins the race?

Jaimee Grubbs – Poor Jaimee never heard the expression "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Grubbs was so fired up when she wasn't named as mistress #1 (who woulda thunk a cheater would also cheat on his girlfriend?) that she gave up all the juice much too quickly, sharing her intimate voicemail and text messages with US Weekly magazine early in the game. Grubbs recently tried to resurrect public interest in her by giving an interview to Los Angeles radio station KTLA, saying she wants an apology from Woods.

"Thinking in terms of 'brand mistress,' Uchitel's was definitely the smarter approach. It's always best to take 'a lady never tells' position. This allows the public to see her as a young woman who may have made a mistake," explains Rochelle Valsaint, the Director of Marketing & Brand Development for TWS Marketing Communications. "The Jamie Grubbs 'kiss and tell' position, on the other hand, highlights her need for the spotlight. As Kanye said, 'I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...' you can finish the rest."

Joining Jaimee in the oversharer club is former waitress Mindy Lawton, party girl Cori Rist and cocktail waitress Jamie Jungers. Hard time keeping them straight? So does everyone else.

Holly Sampson - Here is a porn star who knows her audience. She hasn't tried to diversify her fame through her involvement with Woods. Nope, Sampson is merely trying to capitalize on the scandal within her industry by making a nudie parody flick about it all. Stick with what you know.

Loredana Jolie Ferriolo and Joslyn James - The Italian "model" and the American porn star have both employed a latecomer's Hail Mary strategy to connect their names with the golf phenom, making outrageous claims to gin up publicity. Ferriolo has been trying to sell a tell-all book using her claims that she witnessed Tiger participating in same-sex encounters. James alleges that she became pregnant twice by the golfer, once ending in an abortion and the other ending in a miscarriage. If these girls are smart, they'll use their salacious stories to flip the script on the scandal and try to do something new.

"They key to a creating and maintaining a brand that lasts beyond the so-called 15 minutes of fame is counterintuitive particularly in our 140-character, 24/7 news-cycle. The best strategy, is often to hold back and resist the temptation of spilling the beans all at once, but timing can be tricky," says marketing expert Christopher Lochhead. "A really savvy Tiger mistress would take it entirely the other direction rather than come up with the obvious 'tell all.' She should talk about why having affairs with married men is wrong, advice for young girls not to do what she has done and try to come out the real hero of this whole mess."

Their other option would be to use the name recognition from the scandal into creating a night-club or go-go bar franchise. One possible name comes to mind. Hint: It rhymes with world famous strip club, Scores.

Tags: celebenomics, Holly Sampson, Jamie Grubbs, joslyn james, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, Rachel Uchitel, tiger woods

Comments

(39)

Friday 19 February

By Bill

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TOMMY,TOMMY
My goodness it sounds like has a LIFE,and a Damn good one

By anetrah5

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Neither of these skank-whores handled the scandal best! They are all gold-digging whores and I don't have sympathy for no one but the wife. These hood rats knew that he was married,so the fell victim to lay down with the dog!!! Bottom line, they all got PLAYED!!! What the hell did they think, that Tiger was going to sex them and give them everything that he's work for???

By algonquin j. calhoun

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yer an idiot, jo piazza: none of these skanks "handled" the scandal best: it's a trick question, and all of them stink like a whorehouse at low tide, especially rachel uchicoochy, who is the only person i've ever seen hold a press conference to say that she has nothing to say and then turns around later and says it to two cheapie tabloids. the entire crew gives adultery a bad name.

By Mike

"Let he/she who is without sin, cast the first stone!"

By tony

tigers new sponser LAYS POTATO CHIPS. I LOVE MY LAYS

By Larry

Just goes to show what money can do for you . I mean look at Tiger Woods , he's a NERD . First off his name is Tiger who the f...ck names their kids Tiger , other then rich people whose kids are NERDS . And he looks like a NERD . It's gotta be the money though , because he has hd some nice looking babes . If it weren't for the money they'd have nothing to do with him .

By JBaer

Did you ever think "Tiger" might be his nickname? His real first name is Eldred--not that it matters, because you probably think that's a nerd's name too.

By RICHARD HOUGHTON

What Tiger does off the course is none of mine or the darned media's business.
Anyway, we could use one of these girls to run against Sarah P. next time.

By millie lencioni

Every one of these women are nothing more than whores looking to enrich themsselves. You would think they would be embarrassed to be expoosed, but they are using their 15 minutes of fame to secure their futures. They should NEVER be paid for any version of their so called truth.

Sunday 21 February

By SANDRA

Amen..... sister.....

By eatonpss101

Screw these whores and screw Tiger too! I'm tired of all these celebrities, actors, politicians etc... claiming to be sooo sorry after they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

By Chirs

Don't call them his women. They were targets of a preditor. Some looked like a deer in headlights. He's a pathological liar and dangerous. Google Sociopath. SCARY

By ale

hes a f liar if his wife goes back with him shes nuts he will never change aso somebody wrote that speech for him who the hell does he think he is

By alie

hes a pimp why dont he f his black why because he dont like thremit takes two to tango and those women are not whores hes the bum and hes not the best golfer ever you people say that cause hes black you dumb white people they are taking over

By Adrian

Give it a break, What he does in his private life is no ones business. all those women knew what they wanted, money. Thats all. let him alone and get back to golf. havent been a good game since he has been going thru all of this. To all who believe this please pat me on the back. GO TIGER!

By rick

he is a racsit his wife is white and the 10 he cheated with not one of any other color his own race is not good enough

Friday 05 March

By lilredfox

ELIN ...of course

Saturday 13 March

By Lindi

Alice, how fricken OLD are you??? These women didn't get raped, they are hores, they spread their legs, do you not get it? They are the ones needing to be locked up. for they messed with another womans man and the father of her children....you must be NUTS!! Don't be on the side of these hores, you make no sense....

Friday 09 April

By dorothy

these ladies,if i may call them ladies,dont deserve anything,but pity,they knew the man was married,and yes i said man,how could they think they,or should i say she,was the only one in his life.thats a load of bull,they are trash for messing with a married man in the first place,they were in it for the fame,and maybe money,of which,none got.so you layed down with the man,and didnot get anything but a wet a..so take your low life selves and move on.those who are among us who has not sined,cast the firt stone,and i am sure a lot of you,as well as i have done so.move on the man is BACK.

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