Casting the Olympic Movie: Stars of Vancouver 2010

By Denise Warner Posted Feb 27th 2010 04:00PM

Excitement and drama reigned supreme this year at the Winter Olympics and Hollywood should take notice.

Surely, we thought, with the events that have played out on the slopes and in the ice rinks, producers would want to capitalize and make a movie about these games.

We'll help them out by casting the big parts. Check It Out Below

The role of Canadian Ice Dancer Tessa Virtue will be played by Kristen Stewart.
"Did Bella Swan just win the gold medal in ice dancing?" our friend asked us after the competition. Clearly, she did.

The role of American alpine skier Lindsey Vonn will be played by Abbie Cornish.
Lindsey conquered the Alpine skiing world with a bum shin to take gold in the premiere event -- the downhill race. Abbie Cornish is trying to conquer her image as a homewrecker. This could help her accomplish that goal.

The role of American speed skater Shani Davis will be played by Jesse Williams.
We're not going to lie. Williams needs more work -- he does not get enough screen time on 'Grey's Anatomy,' relative to how hot he is. What better way to get his pretty face out there then by taking on the brash personality of Davis, who won a gold and silver in speed skating this winter.

The role of American alpine skier Bode Miller will be played by Jeremy Piven.
Yes, they look a lot alike. (We think.) But no one could inhabit Bode's bad boy tendencies better than Piven. No one.

The role of Norwegian alpine skier Aksel Lund Svindal will be played by Tom Brady.
Sure, Brady's not an actor -- although he was pretty funny on 'Entourage' as himself. But, his all-American good looks fit Svindal's all-Norwegian good looks to a tee. And we're positive Brady would fill out that skin-tight body suit the skiers wear very nicely.

The role of American figure skater Johnny Weir will be played by Lady Gaga.
You don't really need an explanation for this, do you?

The role of American figure skater Evan Lysacek will be played by Jim Caviezel.
Caviezel may be a little old for Lysacek's gold medal winning boots, but their uncanny resemblance to each other makes it an obvious call for casting directors.

The role of Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko will be played by Owen Wilson.
We know Wilson can play the annoying, but ultimately harmless villain. (See 'Meet the Parents.') That's exactly what Plushenko was this Olympics. Upset that he landed a quad but failed to get the gold medal, losing to Lysacek, he complained and complained. But in the end, it didn't matter. Plus, they both have that nose thing going on.

The role of American snowboarder Shaun White will be played by Seth Green.
Initially we though Carrot Top. But then we realized that we actually adore Shaun and want to do him justice. But Green would have to wear a wig, of course. And we imagine White would have to play himself for the crucial "Double McTwist 1260" run.

The role of American short track speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno will be played by Andrew Keegan.
No, Keegan isn't half-Asian. But Apolo, like Andrew, exudes that teen idol image.

The role of French ice dancer Isabelle Delobel will be played by Lauren Graham.
When Delobel took the ice for the free skate, we thought that Graham had given up acting (and her American citizenship) to compete in the sport. for France.

The role British brother and sister ice dancing pair Sinead and John Kerr (and all the other sibling combos in that sport) will be played by Angelina Jolie and James Haven.
Duh.

Comments

(13)

Saturday 27 February

By William

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Actually, the role of Canadian Ice Dancer Tessa Virtue should be played by Matthew Broderick, even thought she is more masculine in appearance. I can see the marquee now, "Vancouver 2010: The Olympics of Death"!

By Tati

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Lindsay Vonn should be played by Malin Ackerman -- they look so much alike!

Monday 08 March

By kristen

Thats pretty good. I DONT REALLY like Abby CORNISH . I GUESS EVERY1 HAS A PAST THOUGH.

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By Raincheck75

Highest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

Actually the Canadian girl Tessa should be played by Amy Adams instead.

Sunday 28 February

By Aldo

What's worse, Jeremy Piven's so-called "bad boy tendencies" or that toupee he wears?

Monday 01 March

By bruce flitt

Awesome

By Emily

I think Bode Miller should be played by Chris Pratt

By El

No offence to her massive fan base, but Kristen Stewart is not athletic... she even admits it in interviews. This role would not suit her personality or physique. Try Alexis Bledel or Nina Dobrev. Both are lovely actresses. Not that Kristen is not, but not for this role. Nina is also from Canada, so I'd bet she'd be honored.

Yes

Flop

Friday 12 March

By d

Tessa Virtue should be played by Amy Adams! Or Nicole Kidman as a brunette.

Wednesday 02 February

By hannah

Scott Moir should be played by David Henrie.

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