Tiger Woods Redemption Tour 2010. First Stop? The Masters
George Bush's old spin-master, former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, has a new client for his media consultancy firm -- some little known fella named Tiger Woods. And Tiger's mission, should he choose to accept it, is sticking to Ari's script. But given the heat in his marital and professional kitchens, you can bet Woods is going to do exactly what Ari says if he wants to get back on top (in all aspects of his life).
Tiger's announcement that he will be returning to golf next month at the Masters tournament in Augusta, Georgia, contained the facts and just the facts. But given how much flab there can be in these celebrity press announcements, we decided to trim the fat and give it to you nice and lean.
• Tiger wants to make his comeback at the Masters.
• Therapy has been going well, thank you very much.
• Personal development is a process.
• Sorry Arnold Palmer for not coming to your tournament. But don't worry Arnie, it's nothing personal.
• And thanks Masters' organizers for the warm welcome.
No, no Tiger. Thank you. The brass at the Masters and PGA were excited about Tiger's impending return to the jungle that is professional golf.
"We were pleased to learn that Tiger Woods will be playing the Masters in a few weeks," PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem said in a statement. "He has invested a lot of time taking steps, both in his personal and professional life, in order to prepare for his return. We all wish him and his family the best as he rejoins the Tour."
"We support Tiger's decision to return to competitive golf beginning at this year's Masters Tournament," Billy Payne, chairman of Augusta National and the tournament, said in a statement. "Additionally, we support and encourage his stated commitment to continue the significant work required to rebuild his personal and professional life."
Public relations specialists are united in what they believe is the best strategy for Woods. "Short is sweet for Tiger. No matter how much the public and the media want him to talk about his personal life, he should shut up," says marketing guru Chris Lochhead of Lochhead Inc. "No Oprah, no Larry King. The best thing Tiger can do is win at golf and shut up," he added. Did he say shut up?
Tiger's previous 14-minute-long mea culpa explained his indiscretions. No one needs to know any more. Sponsors want to know that Tiger's return is going to be about nothing except golf, golf and more golf. Did I say golf? This can't be the Tiger Woods Redemption Tour of 2010. It can be about one thing and one thing only, getting his golf on.
"I'm a firm believer in not over-explaining and getting right to the point," says PR expert Rebecca Brooks, President of The Brooks Group. "I think once you give too much information there is room for misinterpretation."
As the event nears, Tiger's best strategy is to deal with the media through impersonal statements and let his talent on the greens do all the talking. Only after he makes a professional comeback will he be able to get his personal redemption.
"All Tiger has to do now is make the cut at the Masters and most people will forgive and forget about all the women he had sex with," says Deadspin.com editor-in-chief A.J. Daulerio." Well, maybe not the awful Perkins waitress." And perhaps wife Elin may not be quite ready to forget...
The 2010 Masters will be the 74th tournament in its illustrious history. It will be played April 5 - 11 and broadcast on ESPN and CBS.
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Tiger Woods has disgraced himself & more importantly his family-sure he's a great golfer but there's much more to life than golf. Stay out of the public Tiger-noone wants to see your disgusting face.
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I'm still a proponent of voting to send a clear message to the PGA and the entire sports world. Don't watch the Masters Tournament. This is the only say and we are the ones to say enough is enough and let Tiger to play in the rough. I'd like to see the network, sponsors and the resort lose their asses on this.
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I feel bad for all the other golfers in the Masters who has to deal with all the attention going to Tiger and his mistresses and away from the golf game itself...Lets everyone not watch the Masters......
Move over Woods. There are some new faces now, young and very savy guys,who will most defintely give you a run for the money. You is just so OVER..you long face, fowl mouth,club throwing dip stick.
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Heck..I say, let him play and make a fool of himself. He thinks he is "above" it all. The people will speak. He is one ugly man. In every way. Hope he is driven off the course with boos and cat calls. What a clown car.
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"Let those who judge be judge"
Dere Kent - yu a gud speler!
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Why thankyou Harpie, so are you son.
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TV Golf addicts worship Eldrick Woods, but, most don't even know his name. It's a pathetic epitaph, on the decline of America.
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To Michael K: If you sir don't wanna watch the Masters, simple..Don't watch..But id bet its going to be one of the MOST watched Masters of ALL times...And im sure many, many people will be rooting and pulling for Tiger. He may not win being its his first time out in some time, but rest asured he will be back winning many more tourny's..When you are that GOOD you can do that. Now don't YOU wish YOU were good at something and I don't mean at being an IDIOT...Now do us all a favor, get back in YOUR cabin and close the door, as we are all sure the stench must be overwhelming...Now go watch HEE HAW you REDNECK
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One of the more intelligent posts I have seen today. Your ignorance makes ke wonder in what wonderland you live in. It can not be around normal human beings, not with the way you express yourself. IDIOT
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Here's an idea - if you don't want to watch don't! If you go to the Masters to heckle - stay home!
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creepy woods should wait till next year to play again because the stilettos keep raining from the sky... and who plays in a monsoon?
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Oh, god. Heeeere we go again with bringing out the melodramatic scowl faced Woods' media blitz that just drools all over itself anticipating the billion dollar marketing cash it looks to line it's slippery little pockets with. (Yo CBS). No thanks. Whatever minute interest I might have had in golf (no, not Woods) thanks to Mickelson only, is now dead and buried. Woods' has and has always had serious character and personality issues of arrogance. Can't convince me anythings changed. He's an ass. Public mea culpa's won't change those knarly little sneers of his. Something's seriously wrong with him to treat his 'adoring' fans (and women) so poorly. Terrible character.
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All you "sheep" who follow and bow down to this great father figure
of yours, you all need help. The majority of guys who actually follow
Tiger Woods are guys who themselves could never get a good piece of
azz. They accept his behavior based on that they also have had to
cheat and buy s piece when ever given the chance. F'kin someone else
is their way of exciting themselves and thinking they are getting
over on the spouse they have sitting at home taking care of the kids
and actually believeing what their lying husbands are saying to them.
Only a PAID FOR WIFE would ever even consider staying with a so called
husband and father like this clown. He may know how to golf, but
really who wouldn't be great at anything that mommie and daddy paid
him to learn and do since he was a 3 year old?? I mean really, if
your not great at that one single thing your parents PAID for you to
learn you must be a real loser. I for one will never give the man a
dime for anything he ever indorses, never did and never will. You
"followers" with zero lives will continue to watch him and praise
him. Personally I think the majority of men out there are only mad
that they didn't get to get on their knees for Tigey themselves.
Golfers,,,,guy's who suck at other real sports. Walking around
hitting a little ball that sits there, and telling lies to one
another is the best they can do
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He plays golf folks. He's the all-time best in the world at the game. That's GAME folks! Turns out he's lousy at life's game. Shouldn't have been any of our business in the first place.
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What number were you?
Why wouldn't Tiger Woods play in the Masters? I hope he wins just to shut you all up. Nobody can say that he is not a great golfer. I personally don't care about his personal life. I just like watching him play great golf on TV.
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also, one thing...could any of you tiger-haters give us your ideas on 1) when Tiger should rejoin the tour --if at all 2) if Elin should stay or divorce Tiger 3) what Tiger should say to the public about his mistresses 4)what Tiger can do to short term and long term to appease you? Try to be honest...you will have to back up your ideas...
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Tiger shuld go to an island and make a little golf golf course and play with his little golf balls so we do not have to hear or see him again....Tired of Tiger.....Tired of John Edwards...Tired of Jesse James...Tired of all the mistresses...