Twice-Wed Mother of Five Speaks: Serial Marriers, Octo-Parents Have Their Place
By The Pop Chorus Posted Apr 21st 2010 02:15PM
Last week seemed to be The Week of the Hollywood Divorce. One PopEater editor felt it so strongly, he sounded off with some hypothetical restrictions for serial marriers and octo-parents.
"The following needs to be enforced: If you have been married five times, you should not be allowed to marry again. Similarly, if you have five or more children, you should not be allowed to divorce," Mike Hess wrote.
Now, thanks to our lovely and lively Pop Chorus, we're hearing the other side: Jeanne Mullin, an American mother of five, twice-wed and now single, says maybe restrictions aren't what we need after all. Read on.
Jeanne Mullin writes:
"I'm a mother of five, and I consider it a privilege to say I've fallen in love with more than one person in my lifetime. From my experience, the argument for the limiting of marriages and divorces is uncalled for. My oldest three (now ages 15, 13 and 11) kids were from my first marriage. When the youngest was 2, my husband and I divorced. I can't say it didn't hurt my kids at the time, but it was much better than hearing their father and I fight every night. The kids have grown and gotten used to seeing their father on the weekends. Most importantly, they're happy.
A few years later, I got married to my second husband. He's a great person and loves my older three kids, so we decided to have two more. We were married seven years and just recently split. We still remain very good friends and my youngest two (ages 4 and 6) are adjusting to the change. My older three children were hurt, while the younger ones were more confused and upset.
It's been a year now and, for the kids, the hurt has faded. They see their fathers when they can. I believe if I had stayed with my first husband, my children and I would have missed out on many experiences. They wouldn't have met their additional step-parents or step-families that, in our case, are as close as immediate family. Yes, we wouldn't have had to experience the pain of splitting up, but I believe my kids and I wouldn't have done anything different if we had the choice again.
If you're in a bad situation with your spouse, that may only get worse. It's better to look at the pros and cons and to see if you and your children may benefit more in the long run if you stop the pain now and end it, even if that means (another) divorce. It is possible to fall in love more than once -- I'm living proof. Right now, I'm completely happy with my life, and in my opinion if the family is happy overall, then there is no reason for limits."
[Read the original piece, 'We Need New Rules for Serial Marriages, Octo-Parents,' here.]
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