Melissa Etheridge: My Songs 'Aren't Gay Enough' for 'Glee'

By Nicki Gostin Posted May 17th 2010 01:34PM

Melissa Etheridge's eleventh studio album, 'Fearless Love,' is dropping at the same time as she's rebuilding her love life from the ground up. The 48-year-old songstress recently broke up with Tammy Lynn Michaels after nine years and having twins together in 2006. Etheridge spoke extremely candidly to PopEater about the painful timing of the split, the "sexphobia" behind the 'Glee'/Newsweek debacle and the absurdities of being called "too gay" or "not gay enough."

Did you separate from Tammy before writing this album?
It was written before we actually physically separated, but you know, breakups just don't happen overnight.

It must suck having the album and the separation emerge at the same time. Do you wish the timing was different?
[Laughs] Absolutely! When I saw these things were about to collide for a while there I thought, I don't want this to come up on top of the album, and then I started doing interviews and they're like, "You're such a family girl, your marriage is great, what's the key to a great marriage?" and I was like, "Oh, I can't sit here and lie." But I would have definitely made the timing different.

So is the song 'Miss California' about Tammy?
That's a political song. It's about California passing Proposition 8.

Watch the Video for 'Fearless Love' >>

Have you been following the Newsweek controversy?
No I haven't. Give me the scoop!

A Newsweek writer said Sean Hayes was too gay to be in 'Promises Promises.' Kristin Chenoweth wrote a letter in his defense and Ryan Murphy from 'Glee' called for a boycott of the magazine.
Oh, the gays are getting miffed! Don't tell us we're too gay or not or whatever. Oh lord, what is gay, anyway? Find me the line -- find me the defining line between gay and straight. Find me the defining line between male and female. There is no line. You cannot draw this line in the sand. Yes, there are plenty of people way over there who will never partake in anything straight and there are people way over there who will never partake in anything gay, but there's a whole lot of gray in the middle. Where's the line? Behind all of it is sexual insecurity. It's sexphobia.

Have you been accused of not being gay enough?
Oh sure. I've had the gay community say, "Why don't you write a song saying 'her'? Your lyrics are non-gender." They're never happy. And the straight folks, they just assume the lyrics are about a woman, and they assume that if they go to a concert it's going to be all gay people. There are stereotypes we all have. But there's no us and them. Good God, we're all the same.

Have you ever been approached to have your songs on 'Glee?'
No, I don't think they're gay enough. [Laughs]

You're a greenie.
Yup, no plastic bottles in my house. My car runs on bio-diesel, which is reclaimed vegetable oil from restaurants.

Do you compost?
I did for a while, but I was horrible at it. I had rats.

I reckon someone could start a business in LA tending compost heaps.
I can see it! Compost-For-You. Let's do it! I'll invest.

Do you like touring?
Touring is the payoff after all the days of being alone in my room writing these songs. I get to see people singing them. It's wonderful.

You must have tons of groupies.
Well, this will be the first time I'm touring and I'm single. But I am not interested in groupies. I don't need that in my life right now. I have my oldest kids with me on tour -- they're 13 and 11.

How do you embarrass them?
It's funny because they've drawn a line between what I do for a living, getting up there and singing for people. They allow that because they know that's my work, but if I'm standing around at school and I hum or sing something, they're like, "Oh mom, don't!"

I think you are quite the sex symbol.
Aww, you're sweet, and you're helping this gal. Thank you so much.

Aren't you best pals with Brad Pitt?
Not for a while. He's a family man. I haven't spoken to him in a while.

How's your health?
My health is great. I've been six years free of cancer. I figured out health is about balance. It's what you eat, what you feel, how much you sleep. It's really common things that western society doesn't teach us how to do. You've got to take responsibility; you've got to say, "You know what? I don't need to work that hard. I don't have to buy this." It's not what it's all about.

Tags: Melissa Etheridge

Comments

(314)

Monday 17 May

By Nancy

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I'm not a ME fan but I liked her answers..especially this one...

"there are plenty of people way over there who will never partake in anything straight and there are people way over there who will never partake in anything gay, but there's a whole lot of gray in the middle. Where's the line? Behind all of it is sexual insecurity"

Saturday 22 May

By Susan

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I agree, but can't we love each other without actually loving each other? Do we have to have sex with both genders because its the in thing to do? Please its just a reason to sexually exploit ourselves. Go back to school, get a new job, find a hobbie, start a family. Stop having sex with everyone because they are good looking and you are attracted to them.

By susan

Behind all of it is disease! AIDS. Please lets love each other without loving each other! Its nasty. One man and one woman.

By Pete

Yeah, I like people who are so intelligent and in tune with the universe that they can know what gay thoughts people have, how often, and what percentage of the population have these gay thoughts. Of course she is ME and a lesbian so she can not be challenged or that would make me a homophobe.
I think ME is a brand. If she were not a lesbian activist no one would care and she would be selling t-shirts at a phish concert because she is a no talent HO

By Laurie

What really bothers me is that 90% of the teens think they are bi-sexual. They are young and searching and wanting to fit in. I really can't believe that many of them are bi-sexual. Many of the kids I have talked with or through my daughter just seem lost and want to be loved.

I cannot help but feel that is a failure on our part- their parents. Somehow our kids are lost in the shuffle. We do not make them feel loved. We do not teach them that love and sex are different things and often exclusive of each other.

I too am a Christian- have been all of my life. In searching the Bible- I am hard pressed to find too much that specifically targets homo-sexuality. Sexual imoorality is definitely there and having sex with everyone and anyone is sad and it is immoral, and that is for heterosexuals, bi-sexuals, and homosexuals as well.

Maybe we need to teach our kids about moral behavior- but about finding that path for themselves- not to point the finger at others.

Sunday 23 May

By Slash

Nancy,would you let this old rug licker fufill your wildest dreams ? I sure hope not.

By F9rfan

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Sexual insecurity ? Is that the same as morals !

Monday 24 May

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I know what my feelings are and that is enough for me to deal with. I would no more judge another person than I would want to be judged. IMO a person's sexuality doesn't determine what kind of person they are.

By Alexis Dash

She is an inspiration. Just an awesome person.

By Chuck

Alexis Dash....Yup, a major inspiration. To the other butches of this world. That lady looks like a truck driver....

By Cathy

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@Ali...I think you mean there is a difference between "there" and "they're"

By teresa

How is she inspirational she not normal?! God made woman for man and not for another woman. This thing is a joke.

By cornellyangi

maybe she can get some help from rupaul( who rocks)

By j

Idont understand these relationships . This is the way God made them . I struggle enough with life being straight . I dont envy them .

By Larry

Theirs too much promotions of lesbianism / homosexuality these days!. All same sex-sex is not natural also morally and Spiritually wrong !.

By Jennifer

THERE'S also too much incorrect grammar being promoted as well. It just isn't natural!!!

By csi8299

Yeah Larry ! How DARE you make sense in a world gone amuck !

By Vonni

i am going to have to agree with ya there larry lol

By Bob

If you think there is "too much" then maybe you shouldn't participate? No one is asking you to like it, accept it or "be it". Tolerance is based on accepting that others are different than you even if you don't approve of it. As for spiritually, there are plenty of spiritually healthy gay people. Not sure how you would know what works for other people.

Tuesday 18 May

@Bob.......I am going to tell you like my cousin told me who is sooo into church and walking the way of the lord its crazy.....she had an issue with the whole gay life style until she came to understand that its not the people she dis-likes its the sin.......no matter how we skate around the issue we have been taught through out our lives (those who do go to church or have that strong religious background) that homosexuality is a sin.......its not about someone hating the "person" per say....its about the sin.....if he/she doesnt like it thats their right to....and if he/she like is its their right too! i am getting sick of folks making it seem like a crime because they dont like something or dont agree with everyone on this issues..........is it going to make or break u or them at the end of the day?? NO ITS NOT!! because i guarantee Melissa is going to continue to be gay and live her life....i dont see why some of yall care sooo damn much

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