Melissa Etheridge: My Songs 'Aren't Gay Enough' for 'Glee'

By Nicki Gostin Posted May 17th 2010 01:34PM

Melissa Etheridge's eleventh studio album, 'Fearless Love,' is dropping at the same time as she's rebuilding her love life from the ground up. The 48-year-old songstress recently broke up with Tammy Lynn Michaels after nine years and having twins together in 2006. Etheridge spoke extremely candidly to PopEater about the painful timing of the split, the "sexphobia" behind the 'Glee'/Newsweek debacle and the absurdities of being called "too gay" or "not gay enough."

Did you separate from Tammy before writing this album?
It was written before we actually physically separated, but you know, breakups just don't happen overnight.

It must suck having the album and the separation emerge at the same time. Do you wish the timing was different?
[Laughs] Absolutely! When I saw these things were about to collide for a while there I thought, I don't want this to come up on top of the album, and then I started doing interviews and they're like, "You're such a family girl, your marriage is great, what's the key to a great marriage?" and I was like, "Oh, I can't sit here and lie." But I would have definitely made the timing different.

So is the song 'Miss California' about Tammy?
That's a political song. It's about California passing Proposition 8.

Watch the Video for 'Fearless Love' >>

Have you been following the Newsweek controversy?
No I haven't. Give me the scoop!

A Newsweek writer said Sean Hayes was too gay to be in 'Promises Promises.' Kristin Chenoweth wrote a letter in his defense and Ryan Murphy from 'Glee' called for a boycott of the magazine.
Oh, the gays are getting miffed! Don't tell us we're too gay or not or whatever. Oh lord, what is gay, anyway? Find me the line -- find me the defining line between gay and straight. Find me the defining line between male and female. There is no line. You cannot draw this line in the sand. Yes, there are plenty of people way over there who will never partake in anything straight and there are people way over there who will never partake in anything gay, but there's a whole lot of gray in the middle. Where's the line? Behind all of it is sexual insecurity. It's sexphobia.

Have you been accused of not being gay enough?
Oh sure. I've had the gay community say, "Why don't you write a song saying 'her'? Your lyrics are non-gender." They're never happy. And the straight folks, they just assume the lyrics are about a woman, and they assume that if they go to a concert it's going to be all gay people. There are stereotypes we all have. But there's no us and them. Good God, we're all the same.

Have you ever been approached to have your songs on 'Glee?'
No, I don't think they're gay enough. [Laughs]

You're a greenie.
Yup, no plastic bottles in my house. My car runs on bio-diesel, which is reclaimed vegetable oil from restaurants.

Do you compost?
I did for a while, but I was horrible at it. I had rats.

I reckon someone could start a business in LA tending compost heaps.
I can see it! Compost-For-You. Let's do it! I'll invest.

Do you like touring?
Touring is the payoff after all the days of being alone in my room writing these songs. I get to see people singing them. It's wonderful.

You must have tons of groupies.
Well, this will be the first time I'm touring and I'm single. But I am not interested in groupies. I don't need that in my life right now. I have my oldest kids with me on tour -- they're 13 and 11.

How do you embarrass them?
It's funny because they've drawn a line between what I do for a living, getting up there and singing for people. They allow that because they know that's my work, but if I'm standing around at school and I hum or sing something, they're like, "Oh mom, don't!"

I think you are quite the sex symbol.
Aww, you're sweet, and you're helping this gal. Thank you so much.

Aren't you best pals with Brad Pitt?
Not for a while. He's a family man. I haven't spoken to him in a while.

How's your health?
My health is great. I've been six years free of cancer. I figured out health is about balance. It's what you eat, what you feel, how much you sleep. It's really common things that western society doesn't teach us how to do. You've got to take responsibility; you've got to say, "You know what? I don't need to work that hard. I don't have to buy this." It's not what it's all about.

Tags: Melissa Etheridge

Comments

(314)

Saturday 22 May

By Dork

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using monkeys as a role model to promote ANYTHING just shows what a waste of time it is dealing with PROBLEM people. PUBLICITY is what most of these "stars" crave and thats why we are here wasting our time . The fact that these people wave the gay flag so high is because their sex life takes the lead over their talent. If this singer wasn't gay , she would have been forgotten about. As for her two kids , I feel the real father ought to take a part in their upbringing and get a cut of this singers wages . It's only fair. Being a greenie doesn't justify anti -male attitude

By fasassvalk

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Well TaraTara
Why not just lick a monkey in the butt ? Are you making a monkey of your self ?

Friday 28 May

ha, ha, ahhh, that was funny .

By Peggy

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Here is MY suggestion!: Everyone has a right to his/her opinion..So just give your opinion ONLY and STOP criticizing OTHERS for theirs! Be mature enough in YOUR VIEW and stop attacking others for theirs!

By Alexis Dash

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Thank you for being an adult

"There are stereotypes we all have. But there's no us and them. Good God, we're all the same." Melissa Etheridge from the interview.

By Kim

Melissa, you still got it. Go with confidence. You are wonderful story teller and inspiring soul.

Basically we are all the same human beings with the same potential to be a good human being or bad human being.

Which one are you?

By susan

I am a good person but I don't have to have sex with everybody! Man, woman, threesome, foursome so whats next? Can't we love each other without actually loving each other?

we are still sexual creatures, with all the urges the species gave us.

Kim, sexual creatures with diseases! We also have a brain! We can think. (hopefully)

By emcoloney

When Christ returns for the 1000 year reign, there won't be any homosexuals because there won't be any homosexuality.

By Butch

a fading star , unhappy one hit wonder. I feel sorry for her

By Farmer

Ms. Etheridge said, “Find me the defining line between male and female. There is no line. You cannot draw this line in the sand.”

Some definitions are self-evident, that is, the term itself gives evidence for itself by its definition. By definition, X and Y chromosomes are different and by definition, male and female are different. Ms. Etheridge should not give up her singing to be a philosopher. Relativism is all warm and fuzzy and may feel good to some, but reality is filled with distinctions.

By RobbieK

Etheridge is like all gays, CONFUSED. Being gay is a lifestyle choice, not a culture.

By Bill

Who cares.

By mike fraccola

as talented as she is, she is now just the icing on the cake, the proof in the pudding, and the confirmation that girls need men as husbands. man in general is meant to have a partner of the opposite sex. gay is a choice not a hereditary issue, and more importantly, it is the wrong choice. there is no gay gene on the dna chart, its a choice, like should i steal or not. should i lie, or not. should i swear, or cuss, or not. should i covet thy neighbors wife or not. should i pretend i'm gay or not. one is right, one is wrong in the eyes of God. it only leads to heart ache and tears, that's her punishment, just ask melissa. stay straight people, and you will be blessed...

By Gregory Sutherland

Putting the gay chat aside for a moment, I found the song lyrics very inspiring however; the video very disturbing at the end. I can relate in getting to a certain point to where you can just walk out and leave everything behind but I just don't think I could ever get to the point of walking out without my children. My children are a part of me and if I leave a bad situation then they leave with me. My happiness and their happiness go hand in hand. We would all need to leave and find happiness together. Did anyone else see this as very self centered or was it meant to spark debate?

Monday 24 May

By jm

The girl in the film didn't walk out on her children. otherwise good point

By Doris...

Gregory you sound like a great dad, and your children are blessed little people. I totally respect ME's genius/art, and I'm happy for her good health. However, this is NOT the first family she has walked away from. She had 2 children from her previous relationship with that woman who was the ex-wife of the guy from 21 Jump Street.... sorry I can't think of his name.

By kathy

Just finished the Melissa Ethridge AutoBio. Great reading and great person. She deserves to find someone amazing to spend her life with. Rock on!

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