Jesse James Claims He Was Abused By His Father
By PopEater Staff Posted May 26th 2010 07:13AM
Jesse James saved the worst for last in his first interview since his marriage to Sandra Bullock fell apart, telling ABC's 'Nightline' that he was the victim of abuse as a child. "I was a terrorized kid," he said. The former reality star said he entered rehab earlier this year for sex addiction and anger management, but mostly needed to deal with his childhood, which he claims was filled with beatings at the hands of his father. He told ABC's Vicki Mabrey that memories of the alleged abuse influenced his self-destructive decisions.
"I grew up with a huge amount of shame and fear and abandonment on my shoulders from a very young age, and I think, you know, the way my mind rationalized [cheating], 'Well, you know, I might as well do whatever I can to like run her off cause she is going to find out what I am anyway and leave me anyway,'" James said.
He said all his cheating stemmed from his "emotional shortcomings," as ABC put it.
"The struggle within myself for the things that I did ... to damage marriage and my life and everything else, it's all me," James said. "I'm doing it because, you know, I've basically never felt good enough for anyone."
James said he went into rehab with a "bit of an ego," but after a few days, "I realized, 'Wow, I'm kind of more messed up than most of the people here.' It was like peeling an onion. Every day it was a new revelation about myself and the things I've been doing," he said. "I cried more in rehab in the last 30 days than I have in my whole life. No BS. That's the truth."
After talking with counselors about his memories of abuse, he began to realize its impact on him.
"Bike builder, 'Monster Garage' TV star, all that stuff is a huge smokescreen so that people won't see that I'm a scared, abused kid, a seven-year-old," James said. "He beat my ass pretty good a bunch of times ... I just remember, like, clinched teeth, strained-neck look on his face," James said. "My whole childhood, I never had a chance to be a kid. ... I was always scared."
James' father, Larry James, strongly denied the allegations of abuse in an e-mail to ABC.
James said he "knew it was horrible" to cheat on Bullock but continued to do so out of desire to derail his life because things were too good.
"It made me feel horrible," James said of the infidelities. "And I knew I would get caught eventually, and I think I wanted to get caught. I don't think, I know for a fact now what it was. It was me trying to self-sabotage my life."
He went on to say he doesn't believe he has a sex addiction in the sense that he was out trying to find any sexual partner. The infidelities, he said, were just one piece of his dysfunctional life.
"I think I do things to sabotage my life, including having extramarital affairs, texting, overworking myself, injuring myself, doing stunts and stupid things. I think I do a lot of things in my life that I shouldn't be doing that aren't conducive to being a perfect husband, you know, and the affairs are just one of them."
Sandra Bullock Snapshots
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Jesse James and his daughter Chandler return from a trip to the Southern United States. Was Jesse there to finalize his divorce, or were Jesse and Chandler visiting Sandra Bullock and her adopted baby Louis Bardo? EXCLUSIVE May 13, 2010 Job: 100513NB2 Los Angeles, California www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com
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