Bethenny Frankel Reveals Painful Past: 'I Never Had a True Childhood'

By John Mitchell Posted Jul 8th 2010 05:45PM

Bethenny Frankel lives a charmed life of red carpets, velvet ropes and A-list parties, but things weren't always so glamorous for the 'Bethenny Getting Married' star.

In the latest issue of PEOPLE, Frankel opens up about her difficult childhood, discussing her mother's battles with an eating disorder and alcoholism, the abandonment she felt when her father left and her own struggles with food.

"I never had a true childhood," Frankel tells the mag. "There was a lot of destruction: alcohol abuse, eating disorders and violent fights."

At just 4 years old, Frankel's father, Bobby, a legendary Belmont Stakes-winning horse trainer, left her mother Bernadette. Frankel temporarily relocated to Los Angeles with her father, but returned to New York to live with her mother just a year later because her father's lifestyle did not afford him enough time to take care of her. Bobby would eventually cut Bethenny out of his life entirely. "He said, I'm washing my hands of this whole situation."

This past November, just before Bobby passed away, Bethenny tired to reconnect with her father, but he refused to see her. "He was done," she says. "I didn't exist to him."

Life with her mother was difficult, to say the least. According to Bethenny, Bernadette was severely bulimic and abused alcohol. Frankel often ended up caring for her mother, including cleaning up both the bathroom and her mom after she'd purge. "She was someone who needed taken care of," Frankel recalls.

Bernadette allegedly became violent when she was drinking and would throw dishes, pictures and other household items. "The house would be in shambles," Frankel remembers, adding that she would often hide in the closet when her mother became violent.

Bethenny also remembers having to call the police when Bernadette would fight with her second husband, John Parisella, who despite a difficult relationship, Frankel calls "the only father I've ever known." Bernadette denies Bethenny's allegations that she was violent, bulimic and abused alcohol; however, Parisella confirmed to PEOPLE that Bernadette showed "showed signs of bulimia" and drank heavily.

Frankel has had little contact with her mother over the past 10 years, and will not allow Bernadette to contact Bryn, her 2-month-old daughter with husband Jason Hoppy. "I don't want her to contact us and make it toxic," Bethenny says of Bernadette.

Now an entrepreneur, Frankel says her healthy-living empire, which includes two bestselling cookbooks, workout DVDs and her line of Skinnygirl Margaritas, was inspired by her own struggles with food. "I was owned by dieting," she says. "I hated myself. I was completely obsessed and consumed."

Years of dieting hurt her metabolism, and Frankel resolved to not allow food to rule her life. "I would never be extreme again, it doesn't work," she tells PEOPLE. Her desire to be in command of food (not the other way around) led the culinary school graduate to start a line of vegan cookies and a health food catering business. Her successes with both landed her a spot on the Martha Stewart version of 'The Apprentice' in 2005, where she came in second.

Frankel was smitten with the reality TV fame that came with 'The Apprentice,' so when 'Real Housewives of New York City' was heading to Bravo in 2008, she jumped at the chance to be on the show. Frankel's difficult past has helped her deal with the drama that comes with 'Housewives': "I was able to have some perspective on all the drama," she says.

Her rough childhood and hard work have made Frankel particularly thankful for what she has now. She and Hoppy, a sales executive, married in late March. She calls Hoppy her "anchor," and says that he has "taught me that being taken care of was emotional and not financial."

Sensing something special about Frankel and Hoppy's whirlwind romance and engagement, Bravo asked the popular 'Housewife' if she'd be interested in capturing her wedding plans and pregnancy on film for her own spinoff show. She jumped at the chance and 'Bethenny Getting Married' was born. The show recently scored Bravo its highest-rated series premiere ever.

While Frankel is proud of her reality TV successes, right now her focus is on baby Bryn. "Everything that's happened is exciting, but it's nothing like having her in your arms," she says. "I just want to give her the life I didn't have."

Tags: bethenny frankel, real housewives of new york city

Comments

(142)

Friday 09 July

By Lynn

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Now your the one who sounds like a loser and a bitter cry baby! God jealousy is so Ugly on some people!!

By originlcin

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Oh Eleanor, the world is full of people who don't bother to proofread their posts and end up looking like idiots.

By Just me

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Wow why be so critical of her-This is a healing process for her.

By Corie

Elenor,
I have found in many sucessful high achiever life styles. THat once a person makes it to the top per say, the media holds on to them and asks about their childhood. It happens with many. I also noticed in your message a sense of sadness and remorse. You didn't want to speak of the past and to 'get on with it'. And yet, you did the exact same thing. But, just to a smaller audience of AOL replies.
Many people who achieve great status and are in the media, finally "make it" per say, to what they hoped and aspired to. Part of that journey is the past. And many people of society love to know how they got from A to B sucessfully. Were curious about were they are from. How they were raised. I don't diminish Oprah for discussing her past any more then I do of Bethanny Frankel. Were all human. And please keep in mind you did bring up your past to in a discussion. Rather then eliminating your past altogether. Your point could have been made either way.
Yours was not silent. As I mentioned. We are all human. And its part of our nature to live fully, not diminish the pieces we don't like. That's not our make-up.

By Jo

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Wow, does she never get tired of playing the victim? Please stop reporting on this worthless woman.

By bubblove5

I love you Bethenny..You inspire me and so many oher women to " keep it Real" and never depend on others..Thanks for the inspiration..You and Judge Judy are my Heroes!!

By cathy

Here . here sista..Love ya!

By Sue

Hey Bethenney, if you want to do your daughter a favor, get life insurance, and drop dead. It's her only chance to be raised by someone who might really care for her. Same goes for Kate, Kardashians, etc. Detestable human beings on every level.

Sunday 11 July

By herbalsolution4u

What a horrible thing to say. I hope you do not have children of your own. What would they think of a mother who would wish another mother dead? If your a Christian I would start praying now for forgiveness...shame on you!

By spike

And yet you spend your precious time reading and writing about them..............hmmmmmm

I love Bethenny..besides Judge Judy..this is one of the most inspirational, self reliant women I have ever seen..No wonder your a Star..

By Blue Kentucky Girl

Balonney, Bethenny!

By jay

you go girl

By Jodie

I love Bethany's honesty. She is not afraid to be herself unlike the rest of the housewives (so fake). She is a hard working independent woman. When life gets hard she is not afraid to go for help. From what I see, she has found a wonderful man and a family who is willing to love her like their own daughter. Hey Bethany, "Don't worry, B. Hoppy!"

By John

This woman gives Jewish American Princesses a bad name.

By Steve

Turn it over to Jesus.

By Emma

Something is seriously "wrong" here. This woman is WAY too open about the more private aspects of life and seems to want everyone to know everything about herself. Now, she is using her baby to be the center of everything/cash flow. Does she have any shame?

By grouston

Good for you Bethany, God Bless you and your family, we all deserve to see betetr days. Abuse is horrendous, it leaves so many scars, all over, we just need love to heal all those wounds.

By Arlene

so sad , when there are thousands of us with a story like that or worse and we don't read about us on here or get the support we need like a tv star does I just hope her baby has a better life

By deanne

i think its absolutely horrible to write your mother out of your life-especially w/ a new grandbaby!! That was her and her mom and it was the past, now maybe she changed and should def be in her granddaughters life! that makes me think less of Bethenny....

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