Bethenny Frankel Reveals Painful Past: 'I Never Had a True Childhood'

By John Mitchell Posted Jul 8th 2010 05:45PM

Bethenny Frankel lives a charmed life of red carpets, velvet ropes and A-list parties, but things weren't always so glamorous for the 'Bethenny Getting Married' star.

In the latest issue of PEOPLE, Frankel opens up about her difficult childhood, discussing her mother's battles with an eating disorder and alcoholism, the abandonment she felt when her father left and her own struggles with food.

"I never had a true childhood," Frankel tells the mag. "There was a lot of destruction: alcohol abuse, eating disorders and violent fights."

At just 4 years old, Frankel's father, Bobby, a legendary Belmont Stakes-winning horse trainer, left her mother Bernadette. Frankel temporarily relocated to Los Angeles with her father, but returned to New York to live with her mother just a year later because her father's lifestyle did not afford him enough time to take care of her. Bobby would eventually cut Bethenny out of his life entirely. "He said, I'm washing my hands of this whole situation."

This past November, just before Bobby passed away, Bethenny tired to reconnect with her father, but he refused to see her. "He was done," she says. "I didn't exist to him."

Life with her mother was difficult, to say the least. According to Bethenny, Bernadette was severely bulimic and abused alcohol. Frankel often ended up caring for her mother, including cleaning up both the bathroom and her mom after she'd purge. "She was someone who needed taken care of," Frankel recalls.

Bernadette allegedly became violent when she was drinking and would throw dishes, pictures and other household items. "The house would be in shambles," Frankel remembers, adding that she would often hide in the closet when her mother became violent.

Bethenny also remembers having to call the police when Bernadette would fight with her second husband, John Parisella, who despite a difficult relationship, Frankel calls "the only father I've ever known." Bernadette denies Bethenny's allegations that she was violent, bulimic and abused alcohol; however, Parisella confirmed to PEOPLE that Bernadette showed "showed signs of bulimia" and drank heavily.

Frankel has had little contact with her mother over the past 10 years, and will not allow Bernadette to contact Bryn, her 2-month-old daughter with husband Jason Hoppy. "I don't want her to contact us and make it toxic," Bethenny says of Bernadette.

Now an entrepreneur, Frankel says her healthy-living empire, which includes two bestselling cookbooks, workout DVDs and her line of Skinnygirl Margaritas, was inspired by her own struggles with food. "I was owned by dieting," she says. "I hated myself. I was completely obsessed and consumed."

Years of dieting hurt her metabolism, and Frankel resolved to not allow food to rule her life. "I would never be extreme again, it doesn't work," she tells PEOPLE. Her desire to be in command of food (not the other way around) led the culinary school graduate to start a line of vegan cookies and a health food catering business. Her successes with both landed her a spot on the Martha Stewart version of 'The Apprentice' in 2005, where she came in second.

Frankel was smitten with the reality TV fame that came with 'The Apprentice,' so when 'Real Housewives of New York City' was heading to Bravo in 2008, she jumped at the chance to be on the show. Frankel's difficult past has helped her deal with the drama that comes with 'Housewives': "I was able to have some perspective on all the drama," she says.

Her rough childhood and hard work have made Frankel particularly thankful for what she has now. She and Hoppy, a sales executive, married in late March. She calls Hoppy her "anchor," and says that he has "taught me that being taken care of was emotional and not financial."

Sensing something special about Frankel and Hoppy's whirlwind romance and engagement, Bravo asked the popular 'Housewife' if she'd be interested in capturing her wedding plans and pregnancy on film for her own spinoff show. She jumped at the chance and 'Bethenny Getting Married' was born. The show recently scored Bravo its highest-rated series premiere ever.

While Frankel is proud of her reality TV successes, right now her focus is on baby Bryn. "Everything that's happened is exciting, but it's nothing like having her in your arms," she says. "I just want to give her the life I didn't have."

Tags: bethenny frankel, real housewives of new york city

Comments

(142)

Friday 09 July

By zuen

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Bethneey is beautiful women, And I wish her all the best, I enjoy watching her. But I was very disappointed at her when she did not invite Kelly,Juann,Jill. Special she did not forgive Jill. Jill is very sweet women, and if she was at her wedding she looked to me more loving friend than any one. Just because you friend did some thing you don't like, it just not right to remove him or her from you life for good, that is a shame, and it shows on Bethneey part bad side. If you learn to forgive may be one day this person can be your true friend.

By Rick

NICE Bethany!!!

Make us all proud!!!

LOVE YA GIRL

By thatartistwin

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I find it sad and immature that Betheny has cut her mother out of her life. Even if her accounts of her mothers behavior is true, I am certain that was not her daily life and today, she may be an entirely different person. In addition, I don't think her father was the horror she makes him out to be. I believe the stories that she was at the track with her dad when she was in her teens or twenties. I also believe that there is more than meets the eye here. Betheny seems to easily erase people from her life. When Hoppy came along she was distant with Jill whom she used for support up until then. Then she "couldn't find a place for her in her life" because Hoppy didn't like her? Please. One day, Betheny's arrogance and dismissal of those who don't suit her moment are going to catch up with her. As for now, her mouthy and bossy nonsense on her show is more than I can find the time for.

By Sandy

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Like someone else said, we all have a story.. I think it's wonderful that she straightened out her life. I do think sometimes we must step back from the friends or family that are toxic but their will be a time, that forgiveness is the key. With a new baby and the beginning of a new life ~ seems like this might be the time. I hope she will change her mind and let her mom in. It doesn't appear as if her mom has been bugging her lately. Seems as her mom walked away too. I think this lady is going to teach her kids how to walk away, and to keep unforgivness in her heart..> just my thoughts. Best of luck!

By Cutie

There seems to be a history of children from messed up homes turn to the stage where they can hide behind other characters or create a fantasy life. I wish her and her child well just remember its the time you spend with your child not what you can buy him/her.

By bryanornorma

Low Ranked Vote down Vote up Report this

Why should we care about a cook? How did she get a TV show? Who Cares? Who is this Bimbo?
Boo Hoo. I care more about someone that doesn't have a job, and hsa a family and bills to pay.

By texasrav1

Look her up and get informed so you don't look ignorant and can actually add something to this thread.
= )

By Just me

Maybe her telling her story makes her stronger. I wish her the best of luck. And if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself or dont read the articles

By Sanfo1111

Doesn't anyone "get" who Frankel is? She is an AGGRESSIVE, ABUSIVE, BULLY lvling what she has learned. "Chipmunk Cheeks" lashes out at others, never listens and it's her way or the highway. She wanted to put her relationship with Jil "on hold" then couldn't understand the fall out? It's always someone else's fault with Frankel. I'm sure there is much more to the story with her father. Grow up, Bethenny and take responsbility for yourself and your relationships.

By debi

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I love Bethenney..she did go to her dad's death bed..he called for her..I totally relate to her past.. it does leave scars..good for her she's having it all... So easy for people to hate instead of being happy for a person!!!
Love her sense of humor & wit..happy for her..her show makes me laugh & was my fav on housewifes..

By Norb

are her 15 minutes up yet?

By Diane

Unfortunately the drama that Bethenney says she has left behind is what drives her tv shows. I can only hope that her Mom has discovered sobriety and they can reconcile at least enough for them to meet as a family...perhaps not holiday dinners; but, some civility.

By Jane McGern

We are not responsible if we were born to idiot parents. We are all here by accident of birth. It's just that some accidents turn out better than others.

By kelly

why were you there? do you know what went on between them?

By roguefj

I like Bethenny. I think she's funny and deserves all the attention she has been getting. Jill from the HwNYC on the other hand is not a nice person. She acted like 12 year old mean girl. I wonder what her daughter thinks of her behavior on the show this past season....

By Dr Nell

OMG look at those parotids!!!! Can we say bulemic!

By yeah me

i'm sure most of us had some kind of a difficult childhood get over it!

By jenny

I had a violent, sadistic mother and kept her away from my daughter. Smartest thing I ever did. My daughter is grown, healthy and well-adjusted with two kids of her own. It is not always wise to reconcile with abusive parents, particularly if they don't have any understanding of their own behavior. Just accept yourself as an orphan and move on.

By Susan

She sat at her dad's side at his death bed. It is the focus of one whole RHNY show. She talks openly about how he didn't regret his life choices and felt at peace with himself. Jason went with her, they flew to LA, and he died. End of story.

By A

You're gross, cry me a freakin river. Tlak about being on TV for doing absolutely nothing!

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