Bethenny Frankel Reveals Painful Past: 'I Never Had a True Childhood'

By John Mitchell Posted Jul 8th 2010 05:45PM

Bethenny Frankel lives a charmed life of red carpets, velvet ropes and A-list parties, but things weren't always so glamorous for the 'Bethenny Getting Married' star.

In the latest issue of PEOPLE, Frankel opens up about her difficult childhood, discussing her mother's battles with an eating disorder and alcoholism, the abandonment she felt when her father left and her own struggles with food.

"I never had a true childhood," Frankel tells the mag. "There was a lot of destruction: alcohol abuse, eating disorders and violent fights."

At just 4 years old, Frankel's father, Bobby, a legendary Belmont Stakes-winning horse trainer, left her mother Bernadette. Frankel temporarily relocated to Los Angeles with her father, but returned to New York to live with her mother just a year later because her father's lifestyle did not afford him enough time to take care of her. Bobby would eventually cut Bethenny out of his life entirely. "He said, I'm washing my hands of this whole situation."

This past November, just before Bobby passed away, Bethenny tired to reconnect with her father, but he refused to see her. "He was done," she says. "I didn't exist to him."

Life with her mother was difficult, to say the least. According to Bethenny, Bernadette was severely bulimic and abused alcohol. Frankel often ended up caring for her mother, including cleaning up both the bathroom and her mom after she'd purge. "She was someone who needed taken care of," Frankel recalls.

Bernadette allegedly became violent when she was drinking and would throw dishes, pictures and other household items. "The house would be in shambles," Frankel remembers, adding that she would often hide in the closet when her mother became violent.

Bethenny also remembers having to call the police when Bernadette would fight with her second husband, John Parisella, who despite a difficult relationship, Frankel calls "the only father I've ever known." Bernadette denies Bethenny's allegations that she was violent, bulimic and abused alcohol; however, Parisella confirmed to PEOPLE that Bernadette showed "showed signs of bulimia" and drank heavily.

Frankel has had little contact with her mother over the past 10 years, and will not allow Bernadette to contact Bryn, her 2-month-old daughter with husband Jason Hoppy. "I don't want her to contact us and make it toxic," Bethenny says of Bernadette.

Now an entrepreneur, Frankel says her healthy-living empire, which includes two bestselling cookbooks, workout DVDs and her line of Skinnygirl Margaritas, was inspired by her own struggles with food. "I was owned by dieting," she says. "I hated myself. I was completely obsessed and consumed."

Years of dieting hurt her metabolism, and Frankel resolved to not allow food to rule her life. "I would never be extreme again, it doesn't work," she tells PEOPLE. Her desire to be in command of food (not the other way around) led the culinary school graduate to start a line of vegan cookies and a health food catering business. Her successes with both landed her a spot on the Martha Stewart version of 'The Apprentice' in 2005, where she came in second.

Frankel was smitten with the reality TV fame that came with 'The Apprentice,' so when 'Real Housewives of New York City' was heading to Bravo in 2008, she jumped at the chance to be on the show. Frankel's difficult past has helped her deal with the drama that comes with 'Housewives': "I was able to have some perspective on all the drama," she says.

Her rough childhood and hard work have made Frankel particularly thankful for what she has now. She and Hoppy, a sales executive, married in late March. She calls Hoppy her "anchor," and says that he has "taught me that being taken care of was emotional and not financial."

Sensing something special about Frankel and Hoppy's whirlwind romance and engagement, Bravo asked the popular 'Housewife' if she'd be interested in capturing her wedding plans and pregnancy on film for her own spinoff show. She jumped at the chance and 'Bethenny Getting Married' was born. The show recently scored Bravo its highest-rated series premiere ever.

While Frankel is proud of her reality TV successes, right now her focus is on baby Bryn. "Everything that's happened is exciting, but it's nothing like having her in your arms," she says. "I just want to give her the life I didn't have."

Tags: bethenny frankel, real housewives of new york city

Comments

(142)

Friday 09 July

By tq2rq@

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What she needs to do is stop trying to make things right through her daughter.She needs to find a good shrink ecause at one point she will start to do to her child what was done to her.She needs to make things right in her own head.her child is a different person and a different situation.

By jerrysizzle

...........WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE ? EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND THERE'S A SO CALLED REALITY SHOW WITH PEOPLE I'VE NEVER HEARD OF, I MEAN GIVE ME A BREAK ! HERES ANOTHER ONE,,,,,,,,WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARN THE INTEREST OF THE PUBLIC TO THE POINT THAT PEOPLE TUNE IN TO SEE THEM HAM IT UP AND EXAGGERATE THERE LIVES. GIVE ME A BREAK.

By Hello Dolly

IF YOU WATCHED THE SHOW HER FATHER DID ASK FOR HER ON HIS DEATH BED AND SHE DID GO TO HIM AND HE SPOKE TO HER AND SHE TO HIM. BUT WHO WANTS A DRUNKEN MOTHER WITH HER NEW BABY. I LOVE HER SHOW AND REALLY ENJOYED HER WEDDING AND GLAD SHE DID NOT HAVE THE TROUBLE MAKERS FROM THE HOUSE WIFES AND ONLY HAD THE 2 REAL FRIENDS THERE. SHE WILL MAKE A GREAT MOTHER AND WIFE. I WISH HER ALL THE LUCK AN LOVE SHE DESERVES.

By Susan

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I empathize very much with this woman. My abusive, alcoholic father died never having seen any of his grandchildren, thank God. What a nightmare our entire childhood was. Good for her -- that she is moving forward and is determined to make a better life for herself and her child. Good luck, Bethenny!

By tlc

Lets see, having every moment of your life filmed for TV? Is that what Dr. Spock thought was good parenting? Another self centered egomaniac. When the looks fade along with the attention, she's going to go back to being what she was.

By NORMA

YOUR THE BEST BETHENNY AND MAY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE MANY YEARS OF HAPPINESS AND LOVE. YOUR SHOW IS GREAT....TRY TO FORGET THE PAST AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR GREAT HUSBAND AND NEW BABY.....

By Tammie

She has every right to keep Bryn from the drama and hurt, but for herself, she needs to forgive. It's not easy, that's why God gives us the strength to do it. I do believe it's impossible to do on our own.

By Scp

Never even heard of her, so why should I care about any of this. You people get too involved with strangers.

By Michael

Ok first off, it is so lame for an adult to use their childhood as an excuse to prosper. This woman apparently does not know a thing about God or forgiveness. If she's so happy & successful, why does she even care about her childhood? You only get one mother in this life, so good or bad she is still your mom. How can a person live with themselves, after their mom is no long here? Her daughter is indeed an angel, and she should not involve the kid in her ill feelings toward her own mother. Perhaps with the baby involved, peace can be made and a new relationship can be built.

nothing is impossible if one invests their heart, mind, and soul into whatever it is they propose to do.

By Diana

So in other words, she is going to do the same thing to her daughter that her father did to her. How nice. And she claims she isn't going to allow food to control her, but everything about her "career" is about food and being thin. What she needs is counseling. She is doomed to repeat the patterns.

By Hey Miss Wanda

Very well said Diana!!!

By texasrav1

She is in counseling and the whole point to of her career is to stay at a healthy weight naturally. Why are all of you so hateful? Geez! It's just a story!
Can't you just have a little hope and lift women up instead of finding ways to bring them down?!

By Cathy Spirio

Dear Bethenny,

You both are just so beautiful and so blessed. I watched your wedding and I just cried, you truly have the real deal. I am just so very happy for you. It gives me hope to think that maybe my Mr. right is out there some where. Enjoy your life now and just love your family, nothing else matters.

Cathy

By Barb

Best of luck to you and your husband and your beautiful baby.

Saturday 10 July

By John R.

Doesn't anyone remember when she was a contestant on a "Bachelor-type" show in which the guy, a former Tennis Pro in his early 30s, had to choose from among a group of ladies in their 20s or from another group of ladies in their 30s and 40s (the "Cougars")?

By tara

the road to hell is paved with good intentions!

By Melanie

WHO? AND WHY DO WE CARE?

By Richard

I thought I was aware of "most" A list entertainers...and when one shows up that I don't, it amazes me. Who the heck is Bethany whatever? And why are we supposed to "care" about her and her bad childhood and her new baby?
Looks to me like she's just another spoiled rich actress, who I couldn't care less about.

By David

I wonder at what age she will have the base nose barbed. Mark my words this will turn into a Kate plus 1 rerun, and hubby will be Jon #2

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