Brock Lesnar Smash! UFC Champ Should Play the Hulk

By Bob David Calhoun Posted Jul 15th 2010 12:45PM

Lesnar Smash! Why the UFC Champ Should Play the Hulk

Pop-Ed: Mark Ruffalo is in talks to play the Incredible Hulk in the upcoming 'Avengers' movie after Edward Norton was ditched. But there's a problem with the way the trades are reporting these casting conundrums: Nobody has been cast as the Hulk himself since Lou Ferrigno slapped on an unhealthy coating of green body paint for the '70s TV series.

That's right -- Ruffalo, Norton and Eric Bana (who was in Ang Lee's 2003 'Hulk') played or would play Bruce Banner, the Hulk's nerdy scientist alter-ego, not the actual monster-hero.

The supreme solution? Ultimate Fighting champion and former WWE behemoth Brock Lesnar. Trust me -- read on!

For the first two 'Hulk' films of the 2000s, the role of the green-skinned goliath was left to a pile of raging green pixels, while the part of Banner was doled out to some of Hollywood's top acting talent. The approach resulted in lopsided movies where Banner's upbringing and anger management issues got lots of screen time, while the title character remained an unsympathetic special effect.

I say it's time Hollywood tried a different approach and went back to what worked the first time. They need a living freak of nature (with arms so big they can crush a human skull, natch) to play ol' Jade Jaws. In the '70s, they had the beloved Ferrigno. Now they need UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar.

Have you seen Lesnar? Massive chest. Square jaw. Shoulders the size of Mount Rushmore! The guy is basically a living, breathing version of the way every artist has drawn the Hulk since artist Todd McFarlane enlarged the beast into 12 feet of rage in the 1990s. Lesnar sustained blow after blow in his last bout, versus Shane Carwin, only to crumple the formidable Carwin into an arm triangle choke like he was a 98-pound weakling in round two. Seriously.

See Edward Norton's computer-animated Hulk from the last film:

I know some of you are saying, "That's great, but can this Lesnar guy act?"

And I'm telling you to track down video [warning: graphic content] of Lesnar's celebration following his defeat of Frank Mir at UFC 100. Lesnar doesn't have to act -- you just have to make him angry, and, believe me, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Bob Calhoun is a San Francisco Bay area freelance journalist and the author of the punk-rock wrestling memoir Beer, Blood, and Cornmeal. His work has appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle, Salon.com and Filmfax. Read his blog on Red Room!

Tags: Bob David Calhoun, Brock Lesnar, Red Room, The Incredible Hulk

Comments

(11)

Thursday 15 July

By themeeker

Low Ranked Vote down Vote up Report this

ANOTHER Hulk movie? Include me out.

I know it's Avengers, but I think this idea is way past it's sell-by date.

By mark

They sued KFC for lying about their coupons. I think someone should sue UFC for lying about being entertaining.

By JOE

Highest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

Mark, UFC is far more entertaining than your attempt at a joke.

By armed

Lowest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

I suspect the ufwwe actor is only playing an MMA champion in the first place. This big goof can't fight.

Watch Strikeforce and Bellator instead.

By cease2exist

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Perfect! Cast and ignorant,inbred melon head pumped full of illegal steroids to play the part!!!

By Hector

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no way can a regular person play the part of the HULK. CGI will continue to get better and pretty soon the HULK will look very real. But to have Brock Lesner do it or any other person would just look bad.

By Nico Toscani

DUMBEST... IDEA... EVER.

By Mike

The last two Hulk movies have failed in my eyes because of the lack of realism in the title character. You're right, having a real person portray the hulk and then modified digitally to enhance the scale and proportions would be far more convincing than the video game style effects they've done so far. I throw in my vote for Brock Lesnar, but I really doubt he would be interested at this point in his life.

By bardofoc

Seriously. You should never be a sports writer. Lesnar got bi*ch slapped for an entire round in his fight with Carwin. Shane crumpled because of poor conditioning, not because of Brock.

Saturday 17 July

By Godzilla

Gee, and who had their hand raised in victory at the end? You are a moron.

Friday 16 July

By Señor Bueno

How about Mel Gibson?

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