Expert on Bristol and Levi: 'Very Immature Young People'

By Catherine Donaldson-Evans Posted Aug 6th 2010 10:28AM

Breaking up isn't hard to do in Hollywood. Since so many celebrity relationships dissolve, it almost doesn't seem newsworthy that 19-year-old Bristol Palin and her on-again, off-again fiance Levi Johnston are off again.

Sarah Palin's daughter has a 19-month-old son, Tripp, with Johnston. But Levi's rumored obsession with the limelight -- he famously did a photo shoot for Playgirl magazine -- and the reportedly strained relations between him and the Palin family led to the couple's first downfall.

Is it any surprise then that less than three weeks after their sudden Us Weekly engagement announcement, they were kaput yet again? Bristol told PEOPLE on Tuesday that "it's over, I broke up with him," and says she "got played" by a fame-hungry Johnston.

PopEater went to relationship expert Isadora Alman, who writes the nationally syndicated advice column 'Ask Isadora,' to find out why lasting love is so hard to find in the limelight -- and to figure out what the deal is with Bristol and Levi.

Why are celebrity relationships so fleeting?
I don't think that their track record is any different from that of random people off the street. Very few of us fall in love and stay in love. It's not necessarily that they're so fleeting – it's just that we get to see them in every glaring detail. Celebrities have egos and are probably the least likely to be successful in long-term, committed relationships. Their batting average is probably just about the same as the rest of us.

Why do you think Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston broke up, got back together, then broke up again?
They're kids. They're children. They're in the glaring eye of the public. They've got an awful lot of pressure on them, each of them do. I don't know these people. [Bristol is a] young woman who publicly espouses premarital celibacy and then clearly doesn't do what she believes in. Then you've got a young man who is suddenly thrown into the public eye and is getting all this attention for how good-looking he is. He's just a small-town kid -- it's going to go to his head. They both appear to me to be very immature young people who got caught up in something they didn't expect to get caught up in. They are human beings, and it is unfortunate that their lives are so public and their embarrassments are so public. I don't think anyone would say either of them are great candidates for a long-term stable relationship.

What is it about the spotlight that makes love sour easily?
You're going to get a rather skewed idea of who you are and how important you are if everybody is following your every move. It's really hard to stay humble or focused or even realistic. Throw into that mix these really young people. It gives you an unrealistic picture of who you are and how important you are in the universe. Loving another person requires a certain generosity of spirit, giving the other person equal importance. If you're told you're the best thing since sliced bread, it's really hard to give someone else equal importance. You're going to require an awful lot from your partner that may not be realistic. Another aspect is all the temptation that's going to come your way. If you're gorgeous and are told you're gorgeous and people are offering you everything, including themselves, it's also kind of hard to stay focused.

How can star couples overcome the challenges of being in a Hollywood relationship?
At whatever age -- and certainly at a very young age -- they have to be very clear with themselves first, then with their partner, then with those around them, about where their priorities are. They need to be absolutely clear about how they're going to conduct their relationship.

Is there any hope for celebrities in love?
There are certainly shining examples. Look at Paul Newman and his wife. They had a long and very loving relationship, and they were both Hollywood stars. Sure, there is hope. But relationships are fraught with perils and have even more when they're conducted in the public eye.

How do some high-profile couples manage to make love last?
I think by giving their relationships an enormous priority in their lives. Perhaps not taking a certain film assignment because it takes them away for several months, or taking their partner with them. Or figuratively closing the bedroom door and keeping things private. They also have to have a very understanding partner if only one of them is a star. It helps to remember that not all relationships are going to last forever. They run their course. I think it's more difficult to deal with those issues when everybody is watching.

Isadora Alman, a certified sex therapist, writes the syndicated Ask Isadora advice column. Her books include 'Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex' and the recent novel 'Bluebirds of Impossible Paradises: A Sexual Odyssey of the Seventies.' You can visit her on Red Room.

Tags: Bristol Palin, Isadora Alman, Levi Johnston

Comments

(17)

Friday 06 August

By trmnatr2

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I wouldnt be surprised if they got together again.They grew up together,had a kid,so they will always have a bond.Niether of them are bad kids,just dumb.I wouldnt be surprised if S.P. drove them apart,shes a trailer trash idiot who always has to push her unwanted opinions.

By MAGOOS

This "expert" has it dead to rights. An obscure Govenor is brought to national recognition by the GOP attempt to match Hillary Clinton in the Presidential stakes. Bristol and her errant Romeo got swept up in the mess; two small town kids did what thousands of kids do everywhere without national coverage. Both kids best keep closed mouths, seek wiser council and try to get on with normal lives. Hopefully Sarah Palin will not write another tome of drivel about it!

By The bbl is LIVE!

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I agree with this expert.

R.I.P. Bill Cosby

By cleanfreaks2

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Ummm, excuse me.....Liberals didn't bring this family in the spotlight - McCain did when he asked her to be VP. Get your facts straight

By gregg

bristol and levi are nothing. sarah palin is a bigger nothing. so why does the media cover this like they are something?

By TTT

And this would be because females get pregnant all by themselves, correct? I thought so.

By Debbie

It is very sad that Bristol Palin and her Ex even have a child. I really hope this little guy grows up with some kind of a normal life... CLEARLY The parents are both so childish and stupid.. they both should be a good wake up call why not to have a child...birth control... sick people have no business with a child. sad sad sad.

By llednez

Well, DUH, no kidding. It doesn't take an expert to know these two are immature.

By John

It seems to me that Bristol Palin is well grounded and is handling young motherhood in a mature and heathy manner. However, Levi Johnston's issues go beyond immaturity; he seems to have significant character flaws.

By SONIAL

THERE IS NOT A BIT OF MATURITY IN THAT GAL. THE ONLY RIGHT THING SHE DWD WAS TO KICK HIM TO THE CURB THE FIRST TIME. WHEN WILL SHE LEARN ....HE IS BAD NEWS AND SHE SHPULD KNOW IT BY NOW

By LisaT

WOW chasity belts huh for women. What about the men? Men aren't innocent you know. Last I heard it takes TWO people to have sex and get pregnant. How about we give men their own version of a chasity belt. I think that would work.

By sonia l

SHAME ON BRISTIL.....SHE WAS OLD ENUF TO MAKE A BABY AND HAS ACTED LIKE A BRAINLESS TWIT.......I AM SO GLAD THAT I AM NOT HER MOTHER

By frank

levi is just after dirt on palen for dems

By Judy

just because you can fornicate doesn't mean you are mature enough to handle the consequences

Saturday 07 August

By Philosopher

Bristol is going to be a toad. And yet her mom is pure MILF. I don't get it.

By Hepzibah

They "reunited" then tried to shop the idea of a reality series based on their life. They refused to just do a pilot, insisting instead on a contract for an entire season.

No one was interested so they "broke up".

Sunday 08 August

By Joanne

Perhaps Sarah Palin should stay home and supervise her family more and Todd can get a job. Leaving boys & girls on their own and you're asking for trouble (ie. Bristol's pregnancy) Who supervises the other children when she and husband are traveling all over North America I'd like to know.

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