What Will It Take for Me to Stop Pining For Don Draper?
By Jo Piazza Posted Aug 8th 2010 09:00AM
What is it going to take Don Draper? What is it going to take for me to stop swooning over you?
The incessant infidelities in season one didn't seem to do the trick. That's what men did in the fifties right? It just meant their wives had to do less work.
And the whole lying about your past thing? Who doesn't like to make their childhood seem better than it was? When I was in fifth grade I invented a sibling because I thought being an only child wasn't very cool.
And this week when you drunkenly groped your loyal secretary, did the deed and then treated her like a common prostitute in the morning, sure I made an unpleasant face at you, but I didn't give up hope that underneath it all you're still the man for me.
I was chatting with my girlfriend Jackie about this quandary and she too doesn't know what it will take to end her Draper love affair (mind you Jackie is a very happily married woman with a loyal and sexy husband).
"I think he'd have to beat his children," she said after thinking about what Don would have to do to finally be put on her sh*t list. "But not 1950s spanking because that would still be hot. He'd have to burn them with a hot poker or something. Child abusers aren't hot."
It's true they aren't. Maybe if he drowned puppies or left an elderly woman in a hot car in the sun? Elder and animal abuse also make someone unsexy.
Another friend wasn't even phased by Don's innuendo laced "bonus" to Allison (for those of you who aren't fans of the show, after the two of them got busy following the office party, Don gave her a Christmas card with two crisp fifties enclosed, $684.32 in today's dollars)? "She kind of asked for it, didn't she?"
That just shows how immune this man has made us to his wily indiscretions. He can do no wrong. But the women on the show do nothing to inspire our sympathies either. Did his secretary push him away? Did she say, no thank you for this sex drunk boss? No she did not.
Has Betty Draper ever done anything to make the audience feel sorry for her? She is such a cold fish, even I have cheered on Don's adulterous behavior with his children's school teacher.
Much of this can be laid to rest on the shoulders of creator and writer Matthew Weiner, who has made Draper impermeable to women's disgust. There is also Jon Hamm's portrayal of Draper, and the fact that he is devastatingly handsome (and the fact that we know in real life Hamm is a good guy in a long-term committed relationship with girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt).
Then there's the age-old female desire to fix a flawed man and Don is just that, flawed, but not yet un-fixable and until he reaches that point I don't think I'll be able to stop my swooning.
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