Amy Yasbeck Reflects on 7 Years Without John Ritter

By Nicki Gostin Posted Sep 15th 2010 08:00AM

Seven years ago, John Ritter collapsed unexpectedly on the set of his sitcom, '8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter,' and died later that day of an undiagnosed aortic dissection. His widow, actress Amy Yasbeck, has penned 'With Love and Laughter,' a beautiful and heartfelt memoir of her life with John that gives us a glimpse of what type of guy he really was. Turns out, he was as terrific as you thought. Ritter left behind three children from his first marriage and a daughter -- Stella, who turned five the day her dad died -- with Yasbeck.

Why did you decide to write this book?
I've been writing it in my head certainly since I've known John. I didn't know if I had it in me to get it all out and put it onto the page. When I met John, everything was a story, his childhood stories were fascinating [his father was country and western singer Tex Ritter], his showbiz stories were fascinating to me and he would share them very freely to anyone who would ask him questions. He was such an entertaining storyteller and I hoped to get some of that across. I wanted to share that part of John that was shareable and keep that going, the part that the kids and I got to see.

Was it cathartic?
Cathartic to me means some sort of purging, but for me it was about focusing. It was kind of nice to be able to organize my thoughts and be able to visit things in chapters and chunks, and I know I digress in every story I'm talking, but that's how John was and that's how I am. I was writing if for my daughter Stella and the rest of the world.

What do you think would surprise people about John?
How actually connected he was to the rest of the world than just through his comedy and his work. What an amazingly caring guy he was, how he could simultaneously be entertaining millions of people on TV but also just one on one with every waiter, every cab driver, everyone who came into contact with him. I heard Maya Angelou on the radio say, "Good that's done anywhere is good that's done everywhere," and that was clearly John's philosophy. I think people would be surprised at how consistent that was. People say to me, "Oh God, I loved John," and they're surprised when I say, "He loved you too." Because he did, he loved the connection and the world in a really genuine way.

Does the grief get any easier?
In the book I say instead of time heals wounds, time salts the wound. The truth is, everybody's journey is completely different and the five stages of grief are good and interesting guidelines but you can't beat yourself up when you jump from one to another unexpectedly. There are good days and bad days for me, but having Stella and John's kids and brother absolutely means he lives on. I think that's what makes it better and better. I see him in them all the time. Of course, I miss him as much as anybody could miss anybody. I talk about him everyday. He's still actively loved and still loving people. It's amazing when somebody has lived their life on stage and in private at the same time and the world and the family are on the same page with how he was awesome.

How's Stella doing?
Thank you for asking. She's doing wonderfully; of course, everyone struggles when they lose a parent. There's a fascinating amount of John's nature in her. All of us who know and love Stella are devoted to her becoming herself, which was John's thing. He was real specific that his kids have the green light to become whoever they were going to be.

Was John "on" at home?
No, he was just a naturally entertaining person. He wasn't "on" because he needed something from you or approval. He would genuinely be entertaining because he would do whatever tickled him and he had good taste in comedy. It wasn't like living with Benny Hill in fast speed, although he would do it if you requested it.

Is it weird catching him on TV?
I think it would be odd if I was flicking through the channels and all of a sudden there was a movie with my grandmother on. For us, it's the family business. Sometimes everyone gets called into the room to watch or you hit TIVO and watch it later because that's what he loved to do. It's actually great, not many of us get to see the work of our relatives who've passed on.

How did people respond to you when John died?
There were some people who completely dropped out of our life because they had no idea what to do or say, although that seemed to be a very small minority. More surprising were the people who reached out to me who had never met John but felt such closeness to him, as if they had lost a family member. Oh, do I hear a little one in the background?

Yeah it's my kid. I've got 'Yo Gabba Gabba' on to keep him quiet!
In our day, it was 'Teletubbies.' When Tinky Winky was accused of being gay, John went out and bought two Tinkys. It was adorable. He supported Tinky's lifestyle like nobody's business. John was very liberal when it came to Tinky Winky and anybody's lifestyle.

Tags: amy yasbeck, john ritter

Comments

(123)

Wednesday 15 September

By mw

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I have always liked him. So sad when he died. Feel bad for Amy.

By chuqiaogn

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he saw that they offered very little. It was full of members who threw lavish, highly publicized parties to raise a lot of money, in order to "see and be seen" but who did little else. John let the world know. I think he was a very honest, decent man.I love this , So does My boyfriend .he is almost 11year older than me .i met him via ageles smate.c'om a nice place for seeking age le ss love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive young girls and treat you like a king. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends..

By Scott

I watched John from his days on The Waltons all thru his career.
So gifted. My favorite movie of his was Skin Tight...as it really showed his range.
He was a man who cared and you can see that in how he treated and looked after his brother.
What ever was needed, he always brought more to the table.
I feel cheated out of watching him grow older and better at his work...I miss him!

By LORI BROWN

I agree with you, I remember seeing John on the Waltons playing a preacher. He was genuine and it showed. He will be missed, but not forgotten.

By Robin

John Ritter wasn't on the Waltons.....

By carol

This is to Robin.........John Ritter WAS on the Walton's. He played
Reverend Fordwick.

By Laurie

Not many folks remember John on the Waltons, but he did a lovely job as the recurring character of the young priest. I too, followed his career from then on. He is missed...a good actor and good man who worked hard at his craft and his life. Finding an episode or tv movie of his on is like finding a hidden present....

By Anita Alcorn

Yes Scott, he was great on the Walton's and I was always looking for him after that. I felt like he was my friend before he died.
He was one of those people who just made you think you knew him personaly.

Thursday 16 September

By JP

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The movie you are referring to is called "Skin Deep".

By dbldutt

R.I.P. John Ritter, you are not forgotten.

By emily s.

poor John ritter!!!!!!!!

Friday 24 September

By june

miss you terribly and will always love you back.....

By Heather

I adored John as an actor. It is nice to hear that he was just as genuine in real life. Such a great loss. Not usually big on reading memoirs but this is one I can't wait to read.

By Bo

It is so very sad.

Thursday 23 September

By CJ

I was introduced to one of Johns daughter by a mutual friend once. She is an amazing sincere young lady. His legacy lives on thru his children. RIP John, and hugs and prayers to all you left behind

By bryansage

So very sad to lose John. A nice and decent man.

By Mario

I really miss his work, a very funny guy and noble human being. A great looking couple too.

By bill

R.I.P. John Ritter, you are not forgotten. see ya tonight on nick at night john tripper

By MICHELLE WILLIAMS

RIP JOHN RITTER,WE LOVE AND MISS U SO MUCH,HAPPY BIRTH DAY.....

By Professor D

He seemed like a really good guy.

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