With 'Sister Wives' Echoing 'Big Love,' Here Are Five Series Reality TV Should Never Adapt
By Zach Dionne Posted Sep 29th 2010 05:00PM
The 'Sister Wives' family getting investigated for felony bigamy kinda stole the thunder from an office convo we were hoping to have after Sunday night's premiere -- we were dying to discuss the fact that 'Sister Wives' is basically HBO's 'Big Love,' reality TV-ified. Now we're stuck making flashcards reminding ourselves that 'Big Love' equals fiction and 'Sister Wives' equals fact, though both feature perversely alluring polygamist families and hamster-haven-style interconnected homes.
It all got us thinking -- man, wouldn't 'Mad Men' suck if grafted onto a modern day reality premise? No offense to 'Sister Wives,' 'cause you do what you do and you do it well, but after the jump are the five shows we hope never get adapted to the reality TV arena. Read on.
They'd Call It: 'The Real Mad Men'
Premise: New York City ad agencies navigate their way into a new decade, figuring out how to profit from Facebook, newfangled apps, and keywords gleaned from private e-mail exchanges.
Why We Wouldn't Watch: The 2010 equivalent of Don Draper is too busy playing 'Angry Birds' and cultivating his Brooklyn beard to drink, smoke, and philander to the same prodigious effect as his 1960s forefathers. If he somehow managed to indulge in any of these entertaining excesses to the appropriate degree, a heinous 'Mad Men Rehab' series would ensue. Eek.
They'd Call It: 'True Life: I'm a Serial Killer'
Premise: A camera crew follows a sociopath around a skeezy city while he does his thing.
Why We Wouldn't Watch: It's an actual serial killer. Moving on.
They'd Call It: 'Singin' in the Halls, Cafeterias, and Other Absurd Locations'
Premise: This high school is actually like 'Glee'! And 'High School Musical'! Astonishingly melodious students drop their books and do backflips off lockers and dance and then go to chemistry. Positively joyful!
Why We Wouldn't Watch: Vomiting in our mouths tastes bad.
They'd Call It: 'True True Blood'
Premise: Those Hot Topic-lookin' bros and brosephines aren't just goths and Tokio Hotel fans -- they're vampires! "Human Living Vampires," at least; people who have convinced themselves they really seriously gotta drink blood and do all kinds of creepy s--t to live. (No joke; look it up on a website from the 1900s.)
Why We Wouldn't Watch: Actually, we'd give this a shot. But it still shouldn't get made, because real life murder and Bela Lugosi fetishization and the de-coolification of Robert Pattinson are never good things.
They'd Call It: 'North 6th Street'
Premise: Longtime fans of Jim Henson's puppet show get a glimpse into the real deal, an honest-to-goodness street in Brooklyn. Aired daily hours before hipsters get out of bed, each episode kicks off with the theme song, 'Can You Tell Me How to Get to North 6th Street,' performed by The Hold Steady featuring Jay-Z.
Why We Wouldn't Watch: Not enough educational puppets on actual New York City streets. (Although Katy Perry's cleavage would be a shoo-in...pros and cons...)
Follow Zach on Twitter.
- Jennifer Aniston
- Paris Hilton
Kate Middleton is officially a princess. She walked the aisle in an Alexander...
According to Denise, she's not sure that her estranged ex is completely sober....
Popeater Hot Topics
- Justin Bieber Takes a Bubble Bath, Wears Bubble Beard: Half-Naked Photo
- Megan Fox Gets Bloody With Bald James Franco: Photo
- Elizabeth Banks: Jennifer Garner Got Alias Role When We Both Worked in NYC Restaurant Scene
- It's Not The Knife, It's My Happy New Life! Renee Zellweger Sidesteps Plastic Surgery Questions, Says Drastic Change In Look Is Result Of Different Lifestyle
- ?I Won’t Stand For This Crap!' Rosie O'Donnell Raising Havoc At ?The View' Over Flash Sales & Rumored Addition Of Younger Panelist
- Renee Zellweger: 'Perhaps I look different -- who doesn't as they get older?!'
- Celebrity Playboy cover girls
- Florida Georgia Line: We're 'professional partiers' and smoke pot
- Find Out Which Pop Star Is Heading to Cougar Town for Its Final Season
- Ready for an Epic Diggle-Centric Arrow Episode? David Ramsey Spills on the "Butt-Kicking Action"
- Amy Poehler Doesn't Always Feel Beautiful, Especially Because She Works in a "Shallow Business"