In September, five teenage boys killed themselves after being physically or verbally (or both) assaulted for being gay. The suicides of Tyler Clementi, 18, Billy Lucas, 15, Asher Brown, 13, Justin Aaberg, 15, and Seth Walsh, 13, have brought national attention to the epidemic of bullying in American schools.
Now, a number of stars, many of whom have personal experience with anti-gay bullying, are speaking out in hopes of raising awareness and providing support to teens and young adults who are being victimized or who are having trouble dealing with their sexuality. The topic is also addressed in a cover story for this week's PEOPLE magazine and in a week-long series on CNN's Anderson Cooper 360.
Most recently, 'Project Runway' mentor Tim Gunn spoke candidly about his own suicide attempt and his support for The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. "I understand the desperation. I understand the despair," an emotional Gunn said with tears in his eyes. "And I understand how isolated you can feel ... It will get better. I promise."
Following Billy Lucas' death, well-known columnist and author Dan Savage launched the "It Gets Better" campaign – a series of user-created YouTube videos in which gay adults openly discuss the torment they incurred in high school and encourage GLBT youth to stick it out because "it gets better." Clementi's death has inspired an overwhelming response to the campaign, which has since been flooded with videos from men and women across the world sharing their stories.
"When a gay teenager commits suicide, it's because he can't picture a life for himself that's filled with joy and family and pleasure and is worth sticking around for," Savage told MTV a week after Clementi's death. "So I felt it was really important that, as gay adults, we show them that our lives are good and happy and healthy and that there's a life worth sticking around for after high school."
Savage's "It Gets Better" message has seemingly become the rallying cry around which a movement against anti-gay bullying has centered, with Anne Hathaway, Jenny McCarthy, Ian Somerhalder and Kristin Cavallari recording a PSA for The Trevor Project that uses the motto. 'Harry Potter' star Daniel Radcliffe also recently spoke to MTV about the importance of the Trevor Project.
TV stars Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris have also spoken out against anti-gay bullying. "This needs to be a wake up call to everyone ... One life lost in this senseless way is tragic; four lives lost is a crisis," DeGeneres said in an emotional message taped on the set of her daytime talk show. "My heart is breaking for their families, for their friends and for our society that continues to let this happen. These kids needed us, and we have an obligation to change this. We can't let intolerance and ignorance to take another kid's life."
Harris, who is openly gay and will welcome twins via surrogate with his partner of over six years, actor David Burtka, this fall, pleaded with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth to focus on their futures, which he sees as bright and full of possibility. "For the love of Pete, there's no need to harm yourself if something is going bad. You can act with strength, you can act with courage, you can act with class," Harris said in the MTV PSA. "Stand tall, be proud of who you are. This is a good time that we live in, and we're being granted more and more rights. And that's awesome, and it will continue in that direction. Yeah – be proud."
Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge after his roommate, Dharun Ravi, 18, allegedly used a web cam in their dorm room to secretly stream a romantic encounter between Clementi and another man. Ravi's alleged behavior inspired disgust from conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly, who, when responding to analyst Gretchen Carlson's assertion on FOX News' 'The O'Reilly Factor' that Ravi and his accomplice, Molly Wei, 18, "are probably good kids who did an immensely stupid thing," said, "I don't believe that. I don't think you can be a good kid and plan that kind of stuff out in the cruel nature that they did ... I think they're bad kids. They're bad kids, and they should have been raised better."
Comedienne Sarah Silverman has inspired some controversy by positing that a national atmosphere of institutionalized homophobia, as exemplified by the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy as well as campaigns for constitutional amendments to ban civil marriage for same-sex couples, are at the heart of this epidemic.
(Warning: Explicit Language)
And former NSYNC singer Lance Bass, who came out as gay on the cover of PEOPLE in 2006, surprised many when he admitted to having been a bully himself. "If people can look at me and see that I was one of those bullies that always made fun of gay people, and I had this huge secret, so there's always a bigger story than what you see."
What has been made abundantly clear -- regardless of personal opinions on the religious and/or moral implications of homosexuality -- is that there is a problem, and no child (no person) deserves to be harassed or made to feel worthless because of who they are. If you or someone you know is suffering in silence, encourage them to get help by visiting The Trevor Project or calling 866-4-U-TREVOR.
The LGBT suicide rate is 4 TIMES HIGHER than it is for straight teens. THAT is why it is getting so much attention. But yes, ALL bullying should be stopped.
without going back to check my facts, i believe the teens mentioned in the article were all bullied because they were (and in one case, only perceived to be)gay, and because all five deaths occurred during the last few days...
even without a book of statistics in front of me, i can tell you that this rate of occurrence is far off the norm, which is why it generates extra attention...
until the horrific case of tyler clementi, the most publicized case of recent bullied teen suicides was that of phoebe price - nothing to do with homosexuality...
Leah; perhaps the suicide rate for LGBTs is 4x higher because they're LGBTs, ever think that they need no outside encouragement? Quick fix for both issues is to put homosexuality back into the closet where it has existed merrily for thousands of years. Bringing it out into the open is what has caused all these problems.
I was thinking the same thing. I would bet that the two people responsible for this young man's death, would have still streamed the video if he were with a girl. They were just nasty spirited people; they are not children. They knew right from wrong,they just didn't care. There have been recent suicides and they were not gay related. Attention needs to be made to all bullying cases.
Ok, I was thinking the same thing as J Carroll, not csi8299. That is just a prehistoric thought! People have the right to feel the way they feel, and love who they want.
It does get better and yes, you are loved and needed. Please remmember that God made you in his image. If you are bullied yell for help and I swear someone will be there. Don't end your life over someone elses stupidity.
Are gays specially at risk for suicide? If not, then let's quit all the special pleading. The tragedy here is that a young man took his life, and the fact that he was gay does not deepen that tragedy. But if gay men are specially at risk for suicide (as they are for AIDS, for example), then maybe we should not encourage people to take up a lifestyle that is potentially fatal. Go ahead, I've braced myself for the hate mail.
mike, no hate mail from me but when i read what you wrote, 'maybe we should not encourage people to TAKE UP A LIFESTYLE???? do you really think i/we sat down one day and thought, hmmmmm, should i be straight or gay? did you do that? i also think that this is not about being gay but about a kid who was bullied and saw no way out, it's not really a gay thing and it happens to a lot of kids for a lot of reasons like i am reading here to any kid who is seemingly different and it's really sad. i remember teasing a fat girl in grammar school, we all did but no one told us it wasn't right or why. kids need to be taught, some place!
Hey, wait a minute. I thought this was anti-bullying. Not anti gay bullying. Gay's aren't the only kids being bullied! Lots of kids get bullied for lots of different reasons. They ALL have to be stopped.
s1owcheetah - with that kind of hate & judgment towards others in your heart I think you're the one who will be in the front seat of the bullet train to hell...
We as a society need to adopt a no acceptance policy against all kinds of bullying. If you see it and do not do anything about it then you are not a lot better than the bullies. We have to teach our children that it is not acceptable to bully or make fun of anyone. EVER. I am tired of hearing the cowards and bully's themselves weigh in with their stupid excuses. Like everyone had tough times, lots of people are bullied, etc...Stop excusing the behavior and start teaching that it is not acceptable.
Someone had a sexual relationship with a man, his roommate put it on the internet (wrong) then he jump off the bridge! Whos decision was that? Was he tied up and pushed off the bridge? Why is all this talk about hate crime and procecuting these kids for hate crimes? I dispise the acts of homosexuality! No one can tell me it's right regardless of who wants to support it. And I am not homophobic, it's a deep conviction that I am willing to stake my life on. I love my fellow human beings but I hate the homosexual act, it's not natural. It's a rebelloius act that the whole world will pay dearly for.
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The LGBT suicide rate is 4 TIMES HIGHER than it is for straight teens. THAT is why it is getting so much attention. But yes, ALL bullying should be stopped.
without going back to check my facts, i believe the teens mentioned in the article were all bullied because they were (and in one case, only perceived to be)gay, and because all five deaths occurred during the last few days...
even without a book of statistics in front of me, i can tell you that this rate of occurrence is far off the norm, which is why it generates extra attention...
until the horrific case of tyler clementi, the most publicized case of recent bullied teen suicides was that of phoebe price - nothing to do with homosexuality...
Leah; perhaps the suicide rate for LGBTs is 4x higher because they're LGBTs, ever think that they need no outside encouragement? Quick fix for both issues is to put homosexuality back into the closet where it has existed merrily for thousands of years. Bringing it out into the open is what has caused all these problems.
I was thinking the same thing. I would bet that the two people responsible for this young man's death, would have still streamed the video if he were with a girl. They were just nasty spirited people; they are not children. They knew right from wrong,they just didn't care. There have been recent suicides and they were not gay related. Attention needs to be made to all bullying cases.
Ok, I was thinking the same thing as J Carroll, not csi8299. That is just a prehistoric thought! People have the right to feel the way they feel, and love who they want.
How about talking to celebrities that are still being bullied. Ask them if it gets better...wonder what their answers would be.
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They are very happy with all the fruits and nuts spread out on the table!
It does get better and yes, you are loved and needed. Please remmember that God made you in his image. If you are bullied yell for help and I swear someone will be there. Don't end your life over someone elses stupidity.
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@DEBBIE PENLAND! I believe you're the one who has MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. People like YOU are known to have SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSETS, I do pitty you!!
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And you don't?
Are gays specially at risk for suicide? If not, then let's quit all the special pleading. The tragedy here is that a young man took his life, and the fact that he was gay does not deepen that tragedy. But if gay men are specially at risk for suicide (as they are for AIDS, for example), then maybe we should not encourage people to take up a lifestyle that is potentially fatal. Go ahead, I've braced myself for the hate mail.
Reply
mike, no hate mail from me but when i read what you wrote, 'maybe we should not encourage people to TAKE UP A LIFESTYLE???? do you really think i/we sat down one day and thought, hmmmmm, should i be straight or gay? did you do that? i also think that this is not about being gay but about a kid who was bullied and saw no way out, it's not really a gay thing and it happens to a lot of kids for a lot of reasons like i am reading here to any kid who is seemingly different and it's really sad. i remember teasing a fat girl in grammar school, we all did but no one told us it wasn't right or why. kids need to be taught, some place!
so are your parents for raising you.
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Hey, wait a minute. I thought this was anti-bullying. Not anti gay bullying. Gay's aren't the only kids being bullied! Lots of kids get bullied for lots of different reasons. They ALL have to be stopped.
Reply
s1owcheetah - with that kind of hate & judgment towards others in your heart I think you're the one who will be in the front seat of the bullet train to hell...
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Christians are such hateful people. I'm so glad I'm not a Christian.
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Oh cut the crap. You're not exactly a model of tolerance and acceptance.
have you read my book? there will be a test! "GOD"
We as a society need to adopt a no acceptance policy against all kinds of bullying. If you see it and do not do anything about it then you are not a lot better than the bullies. We have to teach our children that it is not acceptable to bully or make fun of anyone. EVER. I am tired of hearing the cowards and bully's themselves weigh in with their stupid excuses. Like everyone had tough times, lots of people are bullied, etc...Stop excusing the behavior and start teaching that it is not acceptable.
Reply
Someone had a sexual relationship with a man, his roommate put it on the internet (wrong) then he jump off the bridge! Whos decision was that? Was he tied up and pushed off the bridge? Why is all this talk about hate crime and procecuting these kids for hate crimes? I dispise the acts of homosexuality! No one can tell me it's right regardless of who wants to support it. And I am not homophobic, it's a deep conviction that I am willing to stake my life on. I love my fellow human beings but I hate the homosexual act, it's not natural. It's a rebelloius act that the whole world will pay dearly for.
Reply