Kanye West to Audience: 'I Contemplated Suicide'
Kanye West told an audience at a screening of his film/extended music video, '
Runaway,' that he thought about killing himself, but now feels a responsibility to make a meaningful contribution to pop culture and art.
Describing himself as a pop icon and "soldier for culture," West, 33, told the crowd "there were times that I contemplated suicide." However, he said, "I will not give up on life again."
"There's so many people that will never get the chance to have their voice heard" as loudly as his, West said Monday. "I do it for them."
West, who didn't say when he had considered suicide, is credited as director of the abstract 35-minute film, which features portions of nine new West songs, boldly colorful visuals and off-kilter camera angles. The mostly dialogue-free piece, set to premiere this weekend on MTV, VH1 and BET, will accompany Kanye's upcoming album, 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,' which will be released Nov. 22.
PopEater Hit the Streets to Talk Kanye Album Art and 'Suicide' Talk >>
After a prelude featuring narration from rapper
Nicki Minaj, West's character, Griffin, is seen driving a black MTX Tatra supercar down a country road. Lying next to a hole in the pavement is a phoenix fallen to Earth, played by model Selita Ebanks in pink, gray and brown feathers.
He takes her home and offers this advice: "First rule in this world, baby: Don't pay attention to anything you see on the news."
The phoenix sits on a lawn with a deer, rabbit and sheep, then joins West at a private parade featuring fireworks, a marching band and a float depicting Michael Jackson.
Playing over those visuals are West's next single, 'All of the Lights,' which he said features Elton John on piano and an all-star chorus including Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Fergie and John Legend.
Ballerinas in black tutus perform in a scene featuring his current single, 'Runaway.' When the tune ended, there was applause from both the on-screen and live audience. In attendance were Morgan Spurlock, Ryan Phillippe, Pete Wentz and others in the entertainment industry.
West told them that after a "long, hard year," he'd found his "creative sweet spot" by thinking like "a 5-year-old at all times." Besides his mother Donda West's death in 2007, West said he'd also lost three other parental figures in the last three years.
"Everything has been taken away from me," he said. "I'm so not ... scared. I so don't care."
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Kanye West Photos
Kanye West waves to fans in Hollywood, California. More Kanye photos >>
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Kanye West Snapshots
Kanye West Foundation Chief Executive Officer Joseph Collins (R) and Chicago Public School Chief Executive Officer Ron Huberman (second from right) are interviewed with students at the Kanye West Foundation's 3rd annual Stay in School event at the Farragut Career Academy on June 8, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. The Kanye West Foundation's 3rd Annual Stay In School Event Farragut Career Academy Chicago, IL United States June 8, 2010 Photo by Paul Warner/WireImage.com To license this image (60680843), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
Kanye West Foundation Chief Executive Officer Joseph Collins (R) and Chicago Public School Chief Executive Officer Ron Huberman (L) attend the Kanye West Foundation's 3rd annual Stay in School event at the Farragut Career Academy on June 8, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. The Kanye West Foundation's 3rd Annual Stay In School Event Farragut Career Academy Chicago, IL United States June 8, 2010 Photo by Paul Warner/WireImage.com To license this image (60680846), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
Musician Lupe Fiasco and musician/actor Common attend the luncheon on behalf of the Kanye West Foundation at Buca di Beppo Chicago on June 8, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. Kanye West Common & Lupa Fiasco Luncheon on Behalf of Kanye West Foundation Buca di Beppo Chicago Chicago, IL United States June 8, 2010 Photo by Barry Brecheisen/WireImage.com To license this image (60681258), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
CHICAGO - JUNE 08: Kanye West (L) and Common perform at the Kanye West Foundation's 3rd annual Stay in School event at the Farragut Career Academy on June 8, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Kanye West;Common
Kanye West Snapshots
CHICAGO - JUNE 08: Common performs at the Kanye West Foundation's 3rd annual Stay in School event at the Farragut Career Academy on June 8, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Common
Kanye West Snapshots
FILE - In this Aug. 28, 2005 file photo, rap mogul Marion "Suge" Knight is taken away by paramedics after he was shot in the leg at the Shore Club in Miami Beach, Fla. Knight, was shot once in the upper right leg by an unknown assailant at the star-studded party hosted by Grammy-wining hip hop artist Kanye West. More than four years later, Knight is claiming in a lawsuit that West and the Shore Club's owners failed to provide adequate security. Knight is seeking more than $1 million, including a 15-carat diamond earring he lost in the chaos. (AP Photo/Kim Tumey, File) NO SALES
Kanye West Snapshots
Singers Kanye West, Tony Bennett, Jennifer Hudson, Al Jardine, Jamie Foxx, Carlos Santana and others perform "We Are The World 25 Years for Haiti" pose for a group picture following the recording session held at Jim Henson Studios on February 1, 2010 in Hollywood, California. "We Are The World 25 Years For Haiti" Recording Session Jim Henson Studios Hollywood, CA United States February 2, 2010 Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com To license this image (59480499), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
Singers A.R. Rahman, Gladys Knight, will.i.am, Toni Braxton, Brian Wilson, Kanye West and others perform at the "We Are The World 25 Years for Haiti" recording session held at Jim Henson Studios on February 1, 2010 in Hollywood, California. "We Are The World 25 Years For Haiti" Recording Session Jim Henson Studios Hollywood, CA United States February 2, 2010 Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com To license this image (59480685), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
Singers Wyclef Jean, Kanye West and Jennifer Hudson perform at the "We Are The World 25 Years for Haiti" recording session held at Jim Henson Studios on February 1, 2010 in Hollywood, California. "We Are The World 25 Years For Haiti" Recording Session Jim Henson Studios Hollywood, CA United States February 2, 2010 Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com To license this image (59480534), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
Singers Natalie Cole, Kanye West and Jennifer Hudson perform "We Are The World 25 Years for Haiti" pose for a group picture following the recording session held at Jim Henson Studios on February 1, 2010 in Hollywood, California. "We Are The World 25 Years For Haiti" Recording Session Jim Henson Studios Hollywood, CA United States February 2, 2010 Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com To license this image (59480776), contact WireImage.com
Kanye West Snapshots
After the Taylor Swift incident last year, which he called "a moment of sincerity," West took a six-month break. (At the MTV Video Music Awards, Swift's acceptance speech for best female video for "You Belong with Me" was disrupted by West, who took the microphone to say Beyonce should have won instead for "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).")
West said he moved to Rome and "was interning at Fendi" before finding the inspiration to get back to music.
He has hinted at the subject of suicide in his recent song 'Power,' which includes the repeated lines: "Now this would be a beautiful death – I'm jumping out the window, I'm letting everything go."
That song's remix is among the 10 tunes that West has released for free in recent weeks through his website, a buzz-building initiative he dubbed "G.O.O.D. Fridays" for his label imprint, Getting Out Our Dreams Music.
The producer-turned-rapper said that after 'Fantasy' – recorded in Hawaii with the likes of Q-Tip, DJ Premier, RZA and Pete Rock – he will release an album of songs with Jay-Z and another with Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell Williams under the name Child Rebel Soldiers.
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It's never too late to reconsider. The next time you have suicidal thoughts, Kenye West, I say "go for it".
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contemplate it again, jerkoff!
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dear kayne, if you want to do something worthwhile, give all your money to charity and live in a box.
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And stop singing. And stop TALKING.
Tom W,,, You put it exactly the way it is.
Creep is correct, this guy will say, or do anything, to try to be noticed. Only a ill mannered teenager whos never been taught any of the basics would buy into this crap.
Kayne is so full of himself it makes me sick.
He is his biggest, and only fan.
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Whether West's heart is in the right place is up for debate, but every time he opens his mouth, he proves yet again how self-absorbed and self-important he really is. Most people just don't care what he does next.
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too bad you didnt do it. loudmouth moron.no one would miss you loser.
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Glad you found peace, Kanye. The world benefits from your talents, your grace, your style. We all make mistakes.
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Too bad he ended with contemplation only.
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I think Kanye ought to give it another thought.
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DAMN!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT MADE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND???????
WHAT A BUMMER !!!!!!!
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Miss West seems to be suffering from a delusion that people care what he thinks or whether he lives or dies.
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he must have just decided to be a better person just within the last three weeks, he sure didn't act like one again this year at the MTV awards just this past Sept. when he called Taylor a "douchebag"...hmmmmm odd. I have never heard of anything he has ever done which has made a contribution to society in a positive way, he has just always been a negative spiteful man.
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Kanye, I contemplate the same whenever I see your uneducated, ignorant face or hear your insipid gibbereish.
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Why does the nouveau riche ghetto trash always go whitey Europe for their self-imposed exile spiritual retreats? Being pretentious and avaricious is not the way to spiritual enlightenment.
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WHO CARES? THE MAN IS A LEGEND IN HIS OWN MIND, WHAT'S LEFT OF IT THAT HE HASN'T LOST ALREADY.
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never trust a man with nappy pubes
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How do you know?
Please do the world a favor and follow through with the suicide
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If I say "Kanye is an irrelevant street thug", would that help him re-think his backing off from suicide?
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