Julien Hug's Funeral: Suicide Note Revealed

By Christine Fenno Posted Nov 13th 2010 08:21AM

The troubled 'Bachelorette' contestant who committed suicide last week, Julien Hug, was remembered on Friday by approximately 500 guests at a memorial in Rancho Santa Fe, Calif., where his family is in the restaurant business.

Hug's live-in girlfriend, Jennifer Bell, spoke to mourners, according to RadarOnline, about her heartbreak in the aftermath of losing her "perfect" partner.

"I will miss every night where we would lie in bed and before he went to sleep he would whisper in my ear and say I love you." She added that he "loathed" being asked about his 2009 stint on ABC's 'The Bachelorette,' during which he competed for the affections of Jillian Harris.

The grieving parents, Denise and Bertrand Hug, made the bold choice to share the contents of their son's suicide note with those in attendance.

As Radar reports, the handwritten message Hug left his parents was filled with love, gratitude, apologies and an explanation about the pain of his depression.

"This will hurt you," he wrote. "I am so sorry to do this to you. I feel only love for you mom and dad. But I'm terribly sad everyday. I hurt. People will think I took the easy way out. I say I took the smart way out...."

In closing, he wrote, "Tell everyone I love them. Make sure everyone knows that I just want to be in peace. I love everyone. I'm so sorry to have to do this. It's the only way I know how. Julien."

Photos of Hug through the years, which were shared at the funeral, can be seen here.

The 35-year-old shot himself in a remote California region about 90 miles east of Los Angeles; his body was found earlier this month.

Tags: bachelorette, Julien Hug, the bachelorette

Comments

(18)

Saturday 13 November

By FREEIRANwristbands

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RIP

By ttjji

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The grieving parents, Denise and Bertrand Hug, made the bold choice to share the contents of their son's suicide note with those in attendance.I love this , So does My boyfriend .he is almost 11year older than me .i met him via age'lessmate.c'om a nice place for seeking age le ss love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive young girls and treat you like a king. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends..

By jamie

I am so sorry for the loved ones left behind. He is in peace but your hurt is just beginning. Best wishes.

By S

I understand depression, I only wish those suffering with it could see beyond today and now. Please please if you have a loved one suffering with depression get medical and professional help NOW.

By brian

Peace. Suicide is now considered peace in the afterlife. Someone needs to look in the Bible for those answers. Not peace

By Yung

This is tragic. However, I am sure his parents would have rather he went to an institution, than this. A family and friends want the person around. Think Of What You Are Doing To Your Family And Friends. The Pain You Leave Behind That Can Last A Lifetime. DON'T DO IT.

By bobbyeve

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People on these posts talk about "getting medical help" when someone is suicidal. Yet they don't
mention that the drugs given, are the very thing that can put someone over the edge. Antidepressants, mood elevators, etc., could be considered "getting high". When someone gets
high, what follows is a scrape them off the ground low. This "bipolar" stuff is more a theory, than
an actual diagnosis. Doctors will not tell you this, because they fall for the same things the general
public does. There is no magic pill for this life.

By L

Thank you for your suggestions on what someone suffering from depression and suicidal ideation can do to get help.

Oh wait...I didn't see anything. Perhaps you forgot to enlighten us.

No one here specifically mentioned psychotropics or antidepressants, and not all of them do the harm you seem to feel they do; furthermore, close monitoring of their use by both professionals (medical & mental health) and families can provide a safety net should problems arise.

The field of neurology and mental health are still-developing sciences and admittedly imperfect, but advances are being made everyday to those willing to at least read up on them.

I've seen no one suggest a "magic pill for this life", but trying something is better than cynically throwing your hands up and doing nothing, or taking an "it's all in your head/just tough it out" stance than some folks promote.

And so it goes...

By widowmkr1066

This "bipolar" stuff is more a theory, than an actual diagnosis."

Really, maybe I should inform my husband and the neuro-psychologist who did 8-9 hours of testing on him to make the diagnosis. Are you a doctor, if not then you should not be making such a statement. Apparently you don't know anyone with Bipolar Disorder. Is it a misused diagnosis for anyone that may be "moody", yes, same as ADD is misused alot. But it is a legit illness and to make a statement such as the one you did, is insulting and demeaning to those who are actually Bipolar.

By ed baggett

He probably did the right thing....

By Linda

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SUICIDE IS NOT THE SOLUTION. IT IS SELFISH AND WRONG. SORRY, BUT THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH AND THIS GUY WAS SELFISH TO DO WHAT HE DID TO HIMSELF, AND THOSE HE SAYS HE LOVED. SEEK HELP IF DEPRESSED, BUT BY ALL MEANS DO NOT KILL YOURSELF AS IT IS REALLY A SELFISH THING TO DO. I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE AND IT IS EASY TO THINK ABOUT THAT BUT THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK ARE WRONG. SO YOU GET HELP BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID AS TAKING YOUR OWN LIFE.

By jelun

Yes, Linda, it is a selfish act.
So are most of the actions many of us take every day.
I almost lost a family member to suicide. I would have been heartbroken if the action had been successful.
The fact is, however, that person has a right to do what they feel is the correct action for him/her.
It is pretty selfish to expect that person to maintain that level of pain and hopelessness in order to spare others as well.

By Donna

L,,, Thank you for that.
Some people like to give advice on things they obviously know nothing about. As far as the timing, to say anything about any more negative than it already is, pitiful. If someone cant say something nice, or supportive at this time, just dont say anything at all. People have lost their son, brother, and friend. And some people want to place blame, or say they should have done, or said this or that.

RIP Julien

Sunday 14 November

By Marta

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He took the easy way out for himself instead of working on a healthier way to DEAL! He is going to miss on the rest of his life with his girlfriend/friends & family.
I am sad he took this road. He can't regret it now!
But his family will suffer.

By faithped

My sympathy & prayers to his family.

I have a 15 yr old son who has ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder & is Bipolar. Do not tell me that this does not exist. I have lived it for 10 yrs after he was diagnosed. We live life minute to minute because we do not know what mood he is going to be in. It's like a light switch when he goes into an episode.
For those of you who have never been Bipolar or lived with someone who is, don't judge. Don't say they have a choice. It is a real illness!
Nothing more heart breaking than having to have your child admitted to the Psychiatric Unit at Children's Hospital at the age of 5 because they got ahold of their medication and tried to OD! Grabbing a butcher knife and trying to harm themselves. Live the life of someone who is Bipolar and see what it is like.
There are highs, lows, no happy medium.
We will not let the Psychiatrists zombifie him so we have him on as little medication as possible but as he gets older they may have to be increased.
God bless his family & anyone who is suffering with Bipolar Disorder.

By Wendy

faithped,your son is 15 years old, so there is something that he can do for himself (maybe with some help from you). He needs to learn his triggers. He has to make a decision to pay attention to his every mood and find out what makes him lose control. It's hell what your son is going through. Your family, too, but on a different level. He really means it when he says he can't control himself. Once it gets past a certain point, there's no control. He may not even remember what he has done. It's like being outside of yourself watching someone else doing or saying all of those awful things. It takes a lot of work and self-control and it's going to be the biggest battle of his young life so far. But it will make him feel better about himself because, let's face it, he has a lot of guilt and confusion about what takes him over. It's very frightening and exhausting. Good luck and don't give up on him. Don't let him give up on himself, either!

faithped,,,God bless you, and your entire family, including your son. I know what you go through. Its tough, and not lots you can do, but hang on to your son.
Some people, it seems most, dont have a clue as to what its like to be depressed day in, and day out. But most sure do know how to judge any way.
Let your son know, hes not alone.
Please give him a hug for me.

Thursday 14 April

By johnymc

"Is life worth living?This is a question for an embryo,not for a man" Samuel Butler
There are hardships in life and no one exceptionally escape them,but taking the easy way out through suicide is not the smart choice.Its our moral duty to identify the ones with suicidal ideations in our society,so they can seek the medical help.A depressed person can never figure out the strange things growing through his head is due to depression.There is nothing perfect in this world,urge to get more will remain in human being until his natural death.So,everyone just chill and take time off whenever you feel sad and depress.Better go on some holidays and forget about the life behind for a while...

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