Kim Kardashian recently told E! News she wants to go tit-for-tat with England's most famous secret agent. "I would love to be in a Bond film -- a Bond Girl," she said. "That would be the ultimate."
Booty Galore does have a nice ring to it. But to be a Bond Girl is no mean feat, as any serious 007 fan will tell you, Kim. Only the most confused members of our species could argue you don't possess the obvious qualities one must have. That's good. That's a start. But reducing steely men to mush with a mere wiggle is not enough -- just ask Britt Ekland (Mary Goodnight) or Denise Richards (Christmas Jones). After the jump, see the five actresses we'd love to see take on James Bond.
The trick for any aspiring Bond Girl is projecting intrigue onto the statuesque facade. It's not about getting Bond to trust you; it's about getting him to want to trust you. Your eyes must hold great beauty but a warning: Dangerous curves ahead! The only way for Bond to find out your secret -- which very likely will get you killed -- is to get closer. Yes, that kind of closer. So you have to make it so he needs to know your secret.
After all, Bond knows the closer he gets -- yes, still that kind of closer -- the more susceptible he becomes to love's gravitational pull. That, dear chap, is when fatal missteps are incurred, missions are jeopardized and monstrous space weapons nearly destroy earth.
Now, no woman can resist 007's charm, but anyone who steps into the iconic role must have a particularly strong resistance to suave martini-drinking spies. It's all about matching Bond, killer line for killer line. It should be a cage match between the brilliantly cagey. You're artful, never ditsy. Feisty, independent, handy with a fox-hunting rifle, competent with an explosive harpoon. You look absolutely great in ski clothes. And you know how to get down the mountain. You must steal all eyes at chateau receptions without trying.
Of course, that backless dress with the plunging neckline and a dangerously long slit up the side doesn't hurt. Now that we've clarified what it takes to be a great Bond Girl -- the kind history remembers -- here are the five actresses we think would fit the bill ... and the bikini.
Christina Hendricks
She's had her way with the suits on 'Mad Men' and attempted to diabolically seduce Nathan Fillion on 'Firefly.' Why not give this flaming-red supernova of sophisticated sex appeal a worthy challenge? Observe:
Brooklyn Decker
She should not be emerging out of the water in a bikini to greet Happy Gilmore. It's wrong. For the love of Honey Rider, we need this remedied with a Bond Girl appearance, stat. Unconvinced? Say no more:
Sofia Vergara
She will play mysterious Chilean beauty Mercedes Sass. She grew up a poor orphan, abandoned by her wealthy, brutal aristocratic father. Now she's the world's greatest assassin-for-hire. Best line: "Careful. I'll burn the roof of your mouth." Not sold? A Vergara primer:
Katy Perry
Too hot for Elmo. Just right for 007. English blokes can't resist her buxom charm; just ask Russell Brand, who went from world's biggest horndog to happily domestic pup. Poor Daniel Craig would be a goner.
Anna Chapman
There have been beautiful flame-haired Bond Girls before -- Jill St. John worked the strawberry sex-appeal on Sean Connery in 'Diamonds Are Forever,' and most recently, Gemma Arterton sported crimson locks in 'Quantam of Solace' -- but a real Russian spy? Now that we'd like to see, whether or not she can crush a guy between her thighs. We're guessing she can. We're also guessing Chapman knows how to assemble a Russian assault rifle in 20 seconds flat. Let's see aspiring Bond Girl Jennifer Aniston do that.
I'm sorry Kim, I appreciate your ambition and have you risen to fame by just partying and releasing a sex video. Like Paris Hilton, stick to what you know and had made you "famous"
Kim should be a constant guest on the Charlie Sheen Show- She could be Charlie favorite "Boinked" live in friend-- Trouible is, it would be a REAL LIVE SHOW for these two PIGS!!!!
This is an example of reality show personalities somehow thinking that if she can have a show of her own and not have any talent, why not movies? And why wouldn't she think that, especially when I see the likes of Julianne Hough now attempting to do films. This is why most of our films are garbage. It is because the real actors are in the unemployment line and they are being replaced by people who only have a pretty face going for them. American films are the reason I enjoy Foreign films so much.
Please say it is'nt so .Has cinema makers gone mad and lost their marbles?. The James Bond movies are an iconic status symbol. Please let's keep it that way . No one wants to see that bimbo on anything . Just think of all of the beauties who would be disgraced if she gets the role .
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you need to actually have acting skills in order to be bond girl? You know that thing they call talent... I think Kim K. is dreaming beyond the boarders of her reality.
All are good suggestions except Kim K. and Katy Perry (not good actresses).
Here's some of my good suggestions: Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Bryce Dallas Howard, Nina Dobrev, Rosario Dawson, and Zooey Deshanel (Katy Perry look-alike).
No way Kim,She is no way a bond girl,I have been watching 007 since sean and Roger moore days and she does not rate,first of all she can't acted,Don't see what the big deal is about her and her sisters,Sofia or brooklyn are my choice they both have the bond look and can act.
She can't act, her whiny voice drives my ears to ringing and she is truly delusional if she thinks she is good at anything other than annoying the world. The fact that she considers Kanye West a good friend shows her lack of judgement and poor taste.
Please!! I don't think I could stand that or even worse Shree' Whitfield!! Neither of these two could act their way out of a paper bag, well that is if they could fit their butts in the Bag!
It would actually be funny to watch a Bond flick with Kim Kar-douche-ian as a Bond girl. The plot could be James Bond going deaf from listening to her air-headed whining, then contracting an STD and having to retire from the espionage business.
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Anna Chapman
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I'm sorry Kim, I appreciate your ambition and have you risen to fame by just partying and releasing a sex video. Like Paris Hilton, stick to what you know and had made you "famous"
Reply
Kim should be a constant guest on the Charlie Sheen Show- She could be Charlie favorite "Boinked" live in friend-- Trouible is, it would be a REAL LIVE SHOW for these two PIGS!!!!
Reply
This is an example of reality show personalities somehow thinking that if she can have a show of her own and not have any talent, why not movies? And why wouldn't she think that, especially when I see the likes of Julianne Hough now attempting to do films. This is why most of our films are garbage. It is because the real actors are in the unemployment line and they are being replaced by people who only have a pretty face going for them. American films are the reason I enjoy Foreign films so much.
Reply
Please say it is'nt so .Has cinema makers gone mad and lost their marbles?. The James Bond movies are an iconic status symbol. Please let's keep it that way . No one wants to see that bimbo on anything . Just think of all of the beauties who would be disgraced if she gets the role .
Reply
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you need to actually have acting skills in order to be bond girl? You know that thing they call talent... I think Kim K. is dreaming beyond the boarders of her reality.
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Christina Hendricks!!! Yes!
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K.Kar-whatever as a Bond girl? I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
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Could we please put the "threw up a little in my mouth" phrase to bed, along with "epic fail"? Please?
All are good suggestions except Kim K. and Katy Perry (not good actresses).
Here's some of my good suggestions: Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Bryce Dallas Howard, Nina Dobrev, Rosario Dawson, and Zooey Deshanel (Katy Perry look-alike).
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Christina Hendricks, sure.
Kim Kardashian?
Bond doesn't do skank.
Reply
No way Kim,She is no way a bond girl,I have been watching 007 since sean and Roger moore days and she does not rate,first of all she can't acted,Don't see what the big deal is about her and her sisters,Sofia or brooklyn are my choice they both have the bond look and can act.
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The Kardashians have no talent...Why do they have a TV show, & who is wasting time giving them broadcast time for anything ? It's rediculous !
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She can't act, her whiny voice drives my ears to ringing and she is truly delusional if she thinks she is good at anything other than annoying the world. The fact that she considers Kanye West a good friend shows her lack of judgement and poor taste.
Reply
Please!! I don't think I could stand that or even worse Shree' Whitfield!! Neither of these two could act their way out of a paper bag, well that is if they could fit their butts in the Bag!
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fas
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She's cute, but doesn't have what it takes to be a bond girl sorry.
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kim would do good in the role
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Not Kim K, how about Lindsay Lohan? Just kidding.
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Kim a Bond girl? No way, King Kong would be a better role for her.
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It would actually be funny to watch a Bond flick with Kim Kar-douche-ian as a Bond girl. The plot could be James Bond going deaf from listening to her air-headed whining, then contracting an STD and having to retire from the espionage business.
Reply