Charlie Sheen's Fighting Words: His Most Outrageous Sound Bites

By Kiki Von Glinow Posted Mar 1st 2011 02:19PM

Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.

From calling "rock bottom" a "fishing term" to touting the greatest drug ever made ("I'm on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'") to making sure he sticks it to those who have wronged him, Sheen is whipping out the fighting words.

But what makes Sheen a winner? Check out the most outrageous sound bites form the 45-year-old star's tornado of recent talk show appearances and interviews with the likes of NBC, TMZ and ABC.

We give it a week before we see teenage Sheen wannabes walking around with T-shirts emblazoned with his face and the words, "My conduct is bitchin'."

Check out Charlie's most outrageous quotes after the jump!

Charlie the "Warlock"

►"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

►"I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"

►"Dying is for fools. Amateurs."

►"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

See Charlie tell the 'Today' show about his "war" against CBS:

Charlie the "Winner"

►"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!"

►"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."

►"What's the cure, medicine to make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there. Now what? If I'm bipolar, aren't there moments when a guy like crashes?"

►"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."

►"I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."

See Sheen talk face-melting on ABC:

Charlie the "Poet"

►"I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."

►"I wanted to watch 'Jaws' on the ocean in the dark and be afraid."

►"It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."

►"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."

See PopEater editors sound off on Sheen's wild ways:

Tags: Charlie Sheen

Comments

(201)

Tuesday 01 March

By justlmb

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The man shows up to work, is always coherent and is taking care of his children. He is more concerned about the staff on his show than himself, which is MORE than ANY boss or "star" I've ever heard about has done in their lives, so "different" he may be, but who's to say anything about the way one man lives? If he is not hurting anyone, taking care of his responsibilities (unlike Brittney, Mylie, Lindsey) than let him be. His kids are his and his ex's business and if they are all ok, how bout we mind our business!!!

By bob

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Charlie, is that you?

By geo

Charlie Sheen was one of my favorite actors until I realized Charlie is all about Charlie, quote, "I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body." I feel disappointed and dejected because I looked up to the man. He was one of my TV and movie hero's but he turned his back on me, on us, the fans.

By ejkgolf69

do oyu really think sheen cares about anybody but himself. You are very naive.

Friday 04 March

By linda

I was beginning to think I was the only one in the world who felt this way about Charlie Sheen. Thank you for expressing what I wanted to say!

By Mario

Amen...couldn't agree with you more....

By grace

Well stated!

Saturday 05 March

By John

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Have you ever watched Bill Engvall? Here's your sign.

By Paul

Conan paid his staff out of his pocket when they canceled him on The Tonight Show. Just saying, he's not the only one.

By thetruckerking

THANK YOU! Let me take it to the next level. The guy is an actor, not a rocket surgeon. He can blow as much coke as he wants and I could care less. He can make it with a million porn stars. More power to him. At this point, any woman that gets serious with Chuck knows what she's in for so it's a non issue. He's got tons of money, tons of hot women and the best substances that money can buy. If that makes him insane then buy me a ticket on the crazy train. He says some wild stuff but who cares? He's not a world leader or a role model. He's a guy that reads scripts written by other people in front of a camera.

By Steve

Charlie Sheen is in no way taking good care of his children. Please.

By Lorenzo F. Pileggi

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I cannot agree with you more,I was once a drug attic, unfortunately no one can help you but yourself, it is human nature for people to point fingers at others, I have a question for everyone who thinks that Charlie Sheen and individuals like him are a threat to others or themseives, which is worse,? the Charlies or the lawmen who are corrupt which I have found they are drunks or drug atticts, they are defiantly a threat to civilans,themselves,their own familes, but they don't get national attention like Charlie Sheen, what di you think.

By gg

i hear you, that's what i say too

By joani

It's nearly impossible to "mind our own business" when the guy is doing his best to make it everyone's business all day, everyday!

By dlee

Poor Charlie!!! I almost feel sorry for him. His quotes no doubt will find their way on T shirts, they are clever, saying that I wonder just how crazy he is?? maybe this is all for show, after all he is an actor.

By NoreenD

You're right, dlee. He is an actor that's what this is all about. He obviously has a juvenile need for attention. He doesn't care what he says and neither should we. He is an immense waste of time. Aren't there more important things going on in this world than whether or not Charlie Sheen is high?? Who cares?

By Lori

I'm LOVING this...Charlie has managed to do something NO-ONE else has been able to do -- knock the KARTRASHIANS off the headlines for 3 days straight now !! Kinda feels like the "Good Ole Days", thanks and keep it up Charlie !!!!!

By Dayna

Lori - you are a f'ng moron. Seriously....please kill yourself.

By JERRY

I wish somebody would beat the crap out of him.

By Prinan

Lori. Thanks. U are a smart gal.

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