Charlie Sheen's Fighting Words: His Most Outrageous Sound Bites

By Kiki Von Glinow Posted Mar 1st 2011 02:19PM

Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.

From calling "rock bottom" a "fishing term" to touting the greatest drug ever made ("I'm on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'") to making sure he sticks it to those who have wronged him, Sheen is whipping out the fighting words.

But what makes Sheen a winner? Check out the most outrageous sound bites form the 45-year-old star's tornado of recent talk show appearances and interviews with the likes of NBC, TMZ and ABC.

We give it a week before we see teenage Sheen wannabes walking around with T-shirts emblazoned with his face and the words, "My conduct is bitchin'."

Check out Charlie's most outrageous quotes after the jump!

Charlie the "Warlock"

►"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

►"I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"

►"Dying is for fools. Amateurs."

►"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

See Charlie tell the 'Today' show about his "war" against CBS:

Charlie the "Winner"

►"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!"

►"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."

►"What's the cure, medicine to make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there. Now what? If I'm bipolar, aren't there moments when a guy like crashes?"

►"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."

►"I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."

See Sheen talk face-melting on ABC:

Charlie the "Poet"

►"I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."

►"I wanted to watch 'Jaws' on the ocean in the dark and be afraid."

►"It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."

►"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."

See PopEater editors sound off on Sheen's wild ways:

Tags: Charlie Sheen

Comments

(201)

Friday 04 March

By anonymous oyster

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ARE YOU A MORON?! HE HAS THROWN HIS LIFE AWAY AND MADE A FOOL OF HIMSELF. ANYONE WHO EMULATES HIM WILL END UP DEAD IN A DITCH. THE ONLY REASON HE HAS SURVIVED SO FAR IS BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE MONEY HE HAS MADE OFF OF TV!

By Lisa

You think this is hilarious????? How sick you are. This so called man has shot a women, beaten many women and has a suitcase of coke. Justice anyone?? The only justice I can think that he is going to get is his death. The sick bast--d needs to be in jail.

By eugene

Well you know he is 45, I was about 42 when I was "middle age crazy, trying to prove I still can." This guy is banging two women that are faking orgazams and laughing all the way to the bank. His "goddess'are gonna drain him of ALL of his money, in my HO,,,I meant humble oppinion, can't believe I said "ho."

By Marz

Low Ranked Vote down Vote up Report this

Seems to me like everyone wants to put him in the "politically correct box" and he's fighting and clawing and just living how he so desires......What might be right for you,might not be right for some.....and yes I think that's from "Different Strokes"....
My 2 cents.....

By pam

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If the media would simply stop reporting on him, it might give this man a chance to get some much needed help. I give Craig Ferguson all the credit in the world for simply stopping the Charlie Sheen jokes. Sheen is an easy target right now...the laughingstock of the world. For the sake of his little children, it would be much better if we all just ignored the press. I call for all of us to refrain from reading or giving any of our attention to this trash reporting. Let the people who are in his life..his family, have a chance.

By PANAMAREDPLANET

Wow .... That guy can act ...!!! Cause I never knew he was such a lunatic ... And credit the director's But yes .... What a poor bastard ..For sure he will end up poor in a couple of years.

By duncanstoker

He's an actor... not your hero... not your father, an actor. The fact you look up to him like he's a god is sadder to me than anything he could say. So he's full of himself, so what, name me someone that is that successful and isn't. Get over it people, this is your beef, not his.

By Rich

Lowest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

Sheen is insane but I LOVE it! He is a god. Not THE God, with a big "G", but a "god" with a little "g".

Martz, very good point.

By rik

Crappy has been actor on one of the unfunniest, most predictable shows ever and is a raging lunatic. Blames bi-polar disorder what a shock. Freakin' wuss. Gimme a break. He's just a typical hollywood psycho.

Saturday 05 March

By john

I thought Charlie was among the lowest things I've seen in my life but then this dimwit woman jumps up and writes this thing. Hey bimbo, if this turd bird is so brilliant, why don't you steer your kids or your younger siblings toward his way of life? There is a good reason why his show was canceled and why he keeps entering rehab, he is not smart, but he has a smart mouth. He is not appealing, he is appalling. Look at that loser, he used to be a good looking guy and that was just a year or so ago. Now he is worn down, rode hard and put away wet. RIP Charlie, you're on your way (but only if you're lucky, otherwise you'll stay as you are.)

By BALLOON MAN

I real do bnot understand anyone here. He is CHARLIE FREAKING SHEEN. Who the hell cares if he only thinks of him self.
Its his money his FAMILY his life. F&^%*&^% EVERYONE ELSE.
I do not see any one paying his bills.
GO CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are my hero 2 AN A HLAF MAN ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By ggreg1500

I hear tha theme from the "Twilight Zone"........

Sunday 06 March

By madison

He is pathetic... Just shut up...

By DORIS

I am so sick of hearing about about Charlie Sheen and his stupid rants. The same goes for Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the rest of those idiots. God blessed them to have a good life and they don't appreciate what they have. Put them in jail and stop writing about this foolishness.

By woodyready1

I don't relly care! Who,does? I guess idiots do. I never read this Charlie Sheen bulls--t and change channels when they report on it. Don't you wish everyone did?

By dmahon

Hey Charlie...Joaquin Phoenix already did this performance art crap. Call him and see how it worked for him. Last time I checked imdb, he had no projects planned, in work, or in the can.

By Stephen Callahan

Within the year Charlie Sheen will be found dead due to a drug overdose.

By SharonlynnB

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There is no doubt he is high on coke and heroine. No Doubt

By merreprankster

This isn't funny. A talented man who had it all is about to lose it all. And, I don't see anyone trying to help, including the gold-diggers he was married to. Please, someone step in and help this man before he self-destructs. He's not a bad person.

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