Charlie Sheen's Fighting Words: His Most Outrageous Sound Bites

By Kiki Von Glinow Posted Mar 1st 2011 02:19PM

Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.

From calling "rock bottom" a "fishing term" to touting the greatest drug ever made ("I'm on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'") to making sure he sticks it to those who have wronged him, Sheen is whipping out the fighting words.

But what makes Sheen a winner? Check out the most outrageous sound bites form the 45-year-old star's tornado of recent talk show appearances and interviews with the likes of NBC, TMZ and ABC.

We give it a week before we see teenage Sheen wannabes walking around with T-shirts emblazoned with his face and the words, "My conduct is bitchin'."

Check out Charlie's most outrageous quotes after the jump!

Charlie the "Warlock"

►"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

►"I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"

►"Dying is for fools. Amateurs."

►"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

See Charlie tell the 'Today' show about his "war" against CBS:

Charlie the "Winner"

►"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!"

►"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."

►"What's the cure, medicine to make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there. Now what? If I'm bipolar, aren't there moments when a guy like crashes?"

►"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."

►"I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."

See Sheen talk face-melting on ABC:

Charlie the "Poet"

►"I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."

►"I wanted to watch 'Jaws' on the ocean in the dark and be afraid."

►"It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."

►"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."

See PopEater editors sound off on Sheen's wild ways:

Tags: Charlie Sheen

Comments

(201)

Friday 04 March

By dru

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if any of you have ever experienced being around or living with someone who smokes crack or uses other hard drugs you would not be supporting his behavior. He may have pasted a drug test but he is not clean, he will never be the same mentally. crack messes up your brain and you do not ever act normal again. i am glad they canceled the show, people should not be supporting his behavior and he should not beable to continue working while using drugs, drugs are bad and they not only destroy the users life they destroy the people around the user too. addiction is a desease and you can not cure a desease on your own. im sure if you ask anyone who is an addict they would truthfuly tell you to never try the drug they are addicted to. at first they do it for the fun of it, but they keep doing it because they can't stop.

By Gordon

Man! I thought only folks like Ahmadinejad and Gaddhafi said stuff like that! And here were have a megalomaniacal loony RIGHT HERE in our own country!! How sweet is that!

By mike724k

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still love charlie, the show is great and hes a damn good actor. the guys just enjoying life;)

By SharonlynnB

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He is a spoiled brat and that's because his father was too concerned protesting against the American way of life and ignoring his son. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

By rann948

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I heard that Sheen is heading for Haiti with Sean Penn to repent. LMAO. Hope a building falls on him after Penn has gotten him to sign up a couple mil donation.

By locust

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Charlie
You sound like a guy who has been overworked. Get some rest and lay low for a while. They will pick you apart if you let them.

By Pamela

Charlie looks like 65 years of age and talks like an old fool. He really needs to get his act together for his kids and family. I feel sorry for his parents and siblings and the pain he puts them through. Charlie needs help but will never get it and unfortunately I feel he is going to end up like other drug addition stars not around any more. I hope he gets help and makes it but from the way he talks I don't know.

By Dutch

If only our politicians were as candid. Charlie is an individualist and collectivists hate that. The truth is always met with ridicule; a collectivist's ploy. Credit NBC for airing this segment. Hang in there Charlie as you have alot of unheralded support.

By buquita

Charlie, you are a disgrace to humanity,to your children and our youngster, and about all to you, you are going to end up like Michael Jackson, what do you have in your brain? please wake up you are to young and talented to destroyed yourself.

By jo

He is a man with illnesses. I hope he can get treatment before it is too late

Sunday 06 March

By SKID

Give Sheen credit. The entertainment industry has been manipulated and controlled for years by a bunch of no talent, garbage typing, morons who try to humiliate every star for even the most minor of incidents. Charlie has gone straight at them and reduced them to blabbering idiots unarmed with their cliches defused, their hypocrisy exposed, and their only talent of nitpicking now just a memory. Sheen is far from perfect but he has performed an admirable service of giving many stars their privacy and self respect back. These hob goblins of the spoken and written word are now shooting blanks. How can their picayune and trivial little attempts at some form of unjustified stardom ever be taken seriously in the future. Just blow them off like Charlie and go on with your life.

By Alison

Charlie Sheen is a nut case and an idiot

By jcinek

It started out outragous and yes funny at times. However, it has gone way beyond that. It no longer is funny. He needs serious help before he dies. I wish the TV, media, will leave him alone so he gets help..It's no longer funny. It's serious.
Thanks

By cheryl

It's DRUG talk!!! He's whacked out on drugs. Get him to admit he has a problem and get him to do something about it and I guarantee when u show him what he acted like under the influence he will squirm and cringe!!!!!

By sh

It is one thing to report the news, it is quite another to treat idiocy like the news. I don't understand how any self respecting reporter can say Sheen is a "winner" and promote what he is doing. While I respect Sheen's right to sound off, I don't respect the reporter's method of treating what Sheen has been doing and saying. This kind of reporting is part of the problem we have with people's behavior now.

Why don't we give equal time to those celebrities who are behaving responibly and provide good role models?

By freekybig

I already said, I don't care what this guy does in his private time ,as long as he makes me laugh ,I think he should have a job !! If they try to replace him with that hack,John Stamos ,I will be watching another channel next season(although I would accept Michael J Fox until Sheen works out his demons ) !! By the way ,what has he done that 90% of Hollywood hasn't done except he has been more honest about it !!

By Alison Roberts

Charlie Sheen is a nut case and an idiot.

By Anthony

Charlie Sheen ? 3 words.......Off the wall !!!!

By CeCe

For those of you who haven't yet got the picture, Sheen is way off center. I've known to many addicts, drug and alcohol, to not recognize one who has spun out of control. And if it is an act, as some suggest, he's hurting a lot of naive people who are his band wagon. He won't get help because he won't admit he has a problem.

By John

Nutbag

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