Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.
From calling "rock bottom" a "fishing term" to touting the greatest drug ever made ("I'm on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'") to making sure he sticks it to those who have wronged him, Sheen is whipping out the fighting words.
But what makes Sheen a winner? Check out the most outrageous sound bites form the 45-year-old star's tornado of recent talk show appearances and interviews with the likes of NBC, TMZ and ABC.
We give it a week before we see teenage Sheen wannabes walking around with T-shirts emblazoned with his face and the words, "My conduct is bitchin'."
Check out Charlie's most outrageous quotes after the jump!
Charlie the "Warlock"
►"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."
►"I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"
►"Dying is for fools. Amateurs."
►"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."
See Charlie tell the 'Today' show about his "war" against CBS:
Charlie the "Winner"
►"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!"
►"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."
►"What's the cure, medicine to make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there. Now what? If I'm bipolar, aren't there moments when a guy like crashes?"
►"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."
►"I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."
See Sheen talk face-melting on ABC:
Charlie the "Poet"
►"I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."
►"I wanted to watch 'Jaws' on the ocean in the dark and be afraid."
►"It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."
►"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."
See PopEater editors sound off on Sheen's wild ways:
The media has made him a hero. He is a bi-polar, out of control addict, with multiple children, prostitutes, and lots of blood-sucking people around him slurping up his money. He is violent, intolerably cunning, and no one, no one tries to stop him. People think he's cute, funny. But Charlie they're laughing at you, not with you. The House of cards you have built has a short-life expectancy. The kids will be the true losers.
I was never much of a Charlie Sheen fan to begin with .... now I guess I realize why, and what good instincts I had about him without even knowing it. He's a narcissist, possibly sociopathic ... but mainly just an empty, infantile grown man who has no clue. One of these days he's going to regret all this.
He's going to die a painful death if he doesn't stop now. He went to the hospital for abdominal pains so he has blood in his rectum. He is tearing his inside organs out. He is bleeding through his rectum and the large quantities of cocaine is literally eating away at his organs to the point as if acid is being poured into him.
Charlie you will be missed, just like a few other actors and actresses that have gone on before you. The ones that decided the so called drugs they took was worth dying for. To coin a old phrase.. I pity the fool. And Charlie you are a Fool for thinking you can keep taking the drugs u do and not pay the piper or the master.
I'm so sick of hearing about Charlie Sheen every d*** morning noon and night! I really don't give a s*** what he is doing! He is a low life! I wish the press would stop worshiping him and get on to the real news...like the gas prices and the economy...if you haven't noticed people who actually make an honest living are hurting! I don't give a rats a** about what Charlie Sheen has done today!
charlie aa didnt work for me or fit iam 45 and think its a joke i just quit a few months ago by myself and anyone can if they want to they just have to fight dont let anyone stop you get back on tv and movies
Letterman had it right; the guy trashes a hotel room in New York, allegedly hit a porn star, has been in rehab numerous times and never got fired. He insults the producers once and he gets fired. I hope ABC picks up this show just to screw CBS one more time.
it appears to me the man is still on drugs or temporarily off them . i knew a drug addict once who spoke in the same terms and they quickly almost daily fell off the wagon. the only thing good in his life right now is that bree olson. wow what a woman!
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Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.
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The media has made him a hero. He is a bi-polar, out of control addict, with multiple children, prostitutes, and lots of blood-sucking people around him slurping up his money. He is violent, intolerably cunning, and no one, no one tries to stop him. People think he's cute, funny. But Charlie they're laughing at you, not with you. The House of cards you have built has a short-life expectancy. The kids will be the true losers.
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There is nothing amusing about this man's rants or his decadent lifestyle. He has turned into a very disgusting and nasty ogre.
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The problem with Sheen is that he's lost touch with reality.
He thinks he's the character he plays on the show.
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I was never much of a Charlie Sheen fan to begin with .... now I guess I realize why, and what good instincts I had about him without even knowing it. He's a narcissist, possibly sociopathic ... but mainly just an empty, infantile grown man who has no clue. One of these days he's going to regret all this.
Reply
Hey Charlie.....the drugs are talking and they're making you look real stupid!
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He wants to watch "JAWS" on the ocean at night and be afraid? I'll chum the water, then you can go swimming, moron.
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Interesting fact, he is right about one thing AA has a success rate between 2.9%-7% that is pretty bad. I guess it is more a matter of will power.
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He's going to die a painful death if he doesn't stop now. He went to the hospital for abdominal pains so he has blood in his rectum. He is tearing his inside organs out. He is bleeding through his rectum and the large quantities of cocaine is literally eating away at his organs to the point as if acid is being poured into him.
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He makes Charles Manson seem almost mainstream! lol
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Who sold him these drugs where are the police in this matter?????
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Dr. Drew !!!! Where Are You ????!!!! ;-)
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Charlie you will be missed, just like a few other actors and actresses that have gone on before you. The ones that decided the so called drugs they took was worth dying for. To coin a old phrase.. I pity the fool. And Charlie you are a Fool for thinking you can keep taking the drugs u do and not pay the piper or the master.
Reply
I'm so sick of hearing about Charlie Sheen every d*** morning noon and night! I really don't give a s*** what he is doing! He is a low life! I wish the press would stop worshiping him and get on to the real news...like the gas prices and the economy...if you haven't noticed people who actually make an honest living are hurting! I don't give a rats a** about what Charlie Sheen has done today!
Reply
He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO into himself!!!! It actually is soooooooo annoying!!! BYE BYE Charlie!!
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charlie aa didnt work for me or fit iam 45 and think its a joke i just quit a few months ago by myself and anyone can if they want to they just have to fight dont let anyone stop you get back on tv and movies
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What a riot. If it weren't for these over-payed, over-indulged, celebrity nut jobs and their antics we would have fewer people to laugh at!
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15,604,391 PEOPLE CAN'T BE WRONG SOME OF US HAVE TIGER BLOOD!!! CHARLIE WILL NEVER EVER LOOSE HIS SHEEN!!!
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Letterman had it right; the guy trashes a hotel room in New York, allegedly hit a porn star, has been in rehab numerous times and never got fired. He insults the producers once and he gets fired. I hope ABC picks up this show just to screw CBS one more time.
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Sheen a waste of media time.
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it appears to me the man is still on drugs or temporarily off them . i knew a drug addict once who spoke in the same terms and they quickly almost daily fell off the wagon. the only thing good in his life right now is that bree olson. wow what a woman!
Reply