Grandmothers across the country rejoiced this past week as they were given a wealth of new Charlie Sheen quotes to embroider to their throw pillows. But they aren't the only ones "winning," as Sheen is laughing all the way to the self-created winners circle.
From calling "rock bottom" a "fishing term" to touting the greatest drug ever made ("I'm on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen'") to making sure he sticks it to those who have wronged him, Sheen is whipping out the fighting words.
But what makes Sheen a winner? Check out the most outrageous sound bites form the 45-year-old star's tornado of recent talk show appearances and interviews with the likes of NBC, TMZ and ABC.
We give it a week before we see teenage Sheen wannabes walking around with T-shirts emblazoned with his face and the words, "My conduct is bitchin'."
Check out Charlie's most outrageous quotes after the jump!
Charlie the "Warlock"
►"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."
►"I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"
►"Dying is for fools. Amateurs."
►"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."
See Charlie tell the 'Today' show about his "war" against CBS:
Charlie the "Winner"
►"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!"
►"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party. Man, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children."
►"What's the cure, medicine to make me like them? Not gonna happen. I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there. Now what? If I'm bipolar, aren't there moments when a guy like crashes?"
►"You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it! Unplug this bastard!' ... It fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm."
►"I am on a drug, it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."
See Sheen talk face-melting on ABC:
Charlie the "Poet"
►"I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."
►"I wanted to watch 'Jaws' on the ocean in the dark and be afraid."
►"It's been a tsunami. And I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."
►"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."
See PopEater editors sound off on Sheen's wild ways:
Two and a Half Men is my favorite show but I think I will like it just as well without Charlie. Im sad for him but it's his life to screw up and he is... But I still think Allen, Birta and the kid could go it alone.
People probably think Charlie looks like a jerk and an idiot who loves his self , but Im afraid that some of us have him pegged wrong. In the 80's he was a great actor and person. In the 90's he helped people who were poor. Now I do believe he has something wrong with him , the things he is saying is off the wall for anyone to say. He had his kids removed from his home even and for him thats not in the norm because he seemed well adjusted before this year. I think hes suffering a mental breakdown , maybe hes seriously ill with schizophrenia or even alzheimers. My grandmother has that and she suddenly was not herself, like a whole different person. He even looks like a different person and usually when someone gets ill they dont take care of themselves,I hope someone helps him. Hope his kids are doing ok, its really the sadest for them.
To think we can cure ourselves with our own minds without any outside help...you gotta be kidding Charlie ;-) I think Ayn Rand would applaud you as I do - Thanks for busting out !!!
I agree with charlie sheen. I am 52 years old and I have drank and did drugs and I have quit on my own. There is a time and place and I have priorities when it is important and I can be clean for days or weeks or years. Some people are just not blessed with that will power. The key is not to do addictive pills and to have priorities, I didn't need AA either.
Charlie is a loser. He's lost his wives, his children, his tv show, his publicist, and now his mind.... People like him don't want help. They want to self-destruct. And what's so "magic" about his manhood??? Does he think he's the only guy on the face of this earth that can make a woman happy? LOSER.....
Wow... I didn't know until tonight hat Charlie Sheens wife is in a substance abuse program. She said she been sober-clean for the past week. I feel sorry for the poor children. Two parents who ani't worth a s__t.
poor little charlie....soon you are going to be talking to a building or selling yourself cheap to a reality show..such as "Rehab"...and you are going to blame life for blowing your life away...You are the "SUCKADOORO" of the month, in my opinion.
I AM SO TIRED OF ALL ACTOR WORSHIP ! SEEMS LIKE THE WORSE THEY ARE THE MORE EVERYONE LIKES THEM.
HOW ABOUT WE START BY REPLACING HIM ON 2 1/2 MEN (NOT THE CHARIE SHEEN SHOW)AND KEEPING A FUN SHOW GOING ,, JUST LEAVE HIS SAD REAR IN THE DUST AND MOVE ON.
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This is very sad.It seems he needs some help.An the media is just making it worse.God bless him an his family!!
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Two and a Half Men is my favorite show but I think I will like it just as well without Charlie. Im sad for him but it's his life to screw up and he is... But I still think Allen, Birta and the kid could go it alone.
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People probably think Charlie looks like a jerk and an idiot who loves his self , but Im afraid that some of us have him pegged wrong. In the 80's he was a great actor and person. In the 90's he helped people who were poor. Now I do believe he has something wrong with him , the things he is saying is off the wall for anyone to say. He had his kids removed from his home even and for him thats not in the norm because he seemed well adjusted before this year. I think hes suffering a mental breakdown , maybe hes seriously ill with schizophrenia or even alzheimers. My grandmother has that and she suddenly was not herself, like a whole different person. He even looks like a different person and usually when someone gets ill they dont take care of themselves,I hope someone helps him. Hope his kids are doing ok, its really the sadest for them.
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My son said, "At least he's good at being crazy." Mel Gibson must be relieved that he has been de-throned as the melt-down king of the season.
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Charlie Sheen should go to the border and try to stop the deaths there. Because many die trying to deliver his drugs to him.
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To think we can cure ourselves with our own minds without any outside help...you gotta be kidding Charlie ;-)
I think Ayn Rand would applaud you as I do - Thanks for busting out !!!
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I agree with charlie sheen. I am 52 years old and I have drank and did drugs and I have quit on my own. There is a time and place and I have priorities when it is important and I can be clean for days or weeks or years. Some people are just not blessed with that will power. The key is not to do addictive pills and to have priorities, I didn't need AA either.
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knock knock anyone home
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They took a blood test and it revealed indeed he does have TIGER BLOOD
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No Charlie.....No CBS!!!
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Charlie is a loser. He's lost his wives, his children, his tv show, his publicist, and now his mind.... People like him don't want help. They want to self-destruct. And what's so "magic" about his manhood??? Does he think he's the only guy on the face of this earth that can make a woman happy? LOSER.....
Reply
Wow... I didn't know until tonight hat Charlie Sheens wife is in a substance abuse program.
She said she been sober-clean for the past week.
I feel sorry for the poor children. Two parents who ani't worth a s__t.
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The Mid-East has all their uprisings - We have Charlie Sheen
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Mr. Sheen is the biggest CRETIN I have ever seen in my life and I am 67 years old
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Here are my thoughts on Charlie Sheen....
"YOU ARE AN....IDIOT"
THE END....
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ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THIS NUT, charlie you are a has been.
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poor little charlie....soon you are going to be talking to a building or selling yourself cheap to a reality show..such as "Rehab"...and you are going to blame life for blowing your life away...You are the "SUCKADOORO" of the month, in my opinion.
Reply
I AM SO TIRED OF ALL ACTOR WORSHIP ! SEEMS LIKE THE WORSE THEY ARE THE MORE EVERYONE LIKES THEM.
HOW ABOUT WE START BY REPLACING HIM ON 2 1/2 MEN (NOT THE CHARIE SHEEN SHOW)AND KEEPING A FUN SHOW GOING ,, JUST LEAVE HIS SAD REAR IN THE DUST AND MOVE ON.
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Enough already with this moron! popeater needs more things more important to write about! Waste of space writing about this lunatic!
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Mr Sheen is ILL ,whatching him on tv you must know the fellow is off his rocker. i wish him well, but right now ....he need medical hel[
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