'Two and a Half Men' star Jon Cryer appeared on 'Conan' Thursday night to respond to Charlie Sheen's ridiculous claims that he's a troll. But instead of disputing the statement, Cryer delivered an emotional "confession": He really is a troll.

Cryer discussed his "true identity" -- all in jest, of course.

"Those words were really painful to me, for many reasons," he said of Sheen's comments. "Not the least of which is...um...I'm sorry, this is really hard for me. I can't even believe I'm saying this. The fact is, I AM a troll."

"It's not something I like to talk about," he joked. "My parents don't even know." Watch Cryer's "confession" inside!