Memo to 'Miserable' Justin Timberlake: Beg Britney Spears to Come Back
But picking up random booty-shakers at the club and rocking their bodies till the break of dawn is going to lose its appeal over time. Then what? How long before you're spotted canoodling in public with another LA actress/hottie. You'll be walking her dog in the West Village. She'll be wearing a fun, furry hat (or maybe you will). She'll be cute-as-a-button, somebody like newly single Ashley Greene.
But you need to look a little closer at your past to figure this one out, JT.
Don't lie to us, man. We already heard rumors that you hooked up with Mila Kunis. Don't let us see photos of you bowling together in a hipster bar in Brooklyn, of her "falling over" while releasing the ball and you catching her as she laughs hysterically.
You're having fun now. But it's going to get boring.
The cure: a sexy-hot firecracker with a crazy streak a mile long. Somebody who could turn your world upside down, who could go all Penelope Cruz in 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' on your ass.
Crazy, sexually volcanic hellcat, thy name is Britney.
Cancel the Netflix and call your ex, JT. She looks fantastic. She's got her life together. Great new album. No more mental head-shaving meltdowns. As for the fact she's seeing somebody ... come on, Jason Trawick? That's an Applebee's bartender name. There's only one JT for Britney, and it's you, hombre.
Sure, eventually she'll make your life tough. Worse than Jessica Biel could ever in a million years. That's because she's your soulmate, bub. Hate to break it to you. But I know it. Your fans know it. Even Joey Fatone knows it -- call him up, he'll tell you.
And down deep, I think you know it, too. I think both you and Britney know it. Don't fight destiny, JT. Do what you know you need to do. Hit that crazy one more time.
Whoever made this video has the right idea:
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