Pop-Ed: Tiger Woods Needs To Love Himself Before He Can Love Someone Else

By Vikki Ziegler Posted Mar 22nd 2011 04:15PM

Pop-Ed: Is getting into a serious relationship healthy if you've been divorced less than one year? Tiger Woods seems to think so. The golfer already has a new girlfriend, a 22-year-old student named Alyse Lahti Johnston from Cleveland, Ohio. The two have reportedly been seeing each other for "a few months" and "have been spotted on Woods' yacht."

Is this a rebound, or something more serious? Is Woods ready to settle down after his torrid affairs, which allegedly numbered in the double digits? I say no!

Woods and ex-wife Elin Nordegren officially divorced in August of last year. Nordegren recently purchased a 17,178-square-foot home for $12.2 million in North Palm Beach, just 10 miles from the golfer's new mansion in Jupiter, Fla.

RadarOnline reported on Monday that Johnston is just looking for a good time and even sent a text message to a friend, saying, she "didn't consider herself Tiger's girlfriend. They were just having a good time hooking up."

Many people rebound and begin dating to forget their past relationships. From my experience watching divorced clients, I think it is important to take time to heal. Work on yourself first. Make sure you figure out what went wrong in your last relationship, so you do not continue the vicious cycle. Statistics show that one out of every two first marriages in this country end in divorce. The number jumps even higher for second and third marriages.

Here are some things to watch out for in your rebound relationship:

►Are you relying too heavily on your partner? If so, give him or her some breathing room.
►Are you acting jealous? If so, step back and ask why you are not trusting your partner. Is it about them or you?
►Are you truly happy in your own skin, or are you looking for validation from another? If you're not happy, pursue therapy to get to the root of your problems and underlying concerns that negatively affect your relationships.
►Do you continue to be commitment phobic? Ask yourself why. Does it make you feel vulnerable? Be honest with yourself and work on the issues to open yourself to unconditional love.
►Are you openly and honestly communicating? If not, this is one of the most important challenges in any relationship. You must be ready and clear on what you want out of a relationship before you dive into one. Then and only then can you articulate your true feelings and desires. Without a clear head and heart you are headed for disaster.

My advice for Woods is to work on his demons. Figure out the "real" reasons for his betrayal and adultery. He needs to figure out on his terms how to live freely and honestly. Without working on the core of who he really is (not who the media portrays him to be), a man with flaws like the rest of us, he can never love himself unconditionally.

Without the ability to love yourself, you can never love another wholeheartedly. I wish him luck. Anyone can rebound from a bad marriage and accept blame with dignity and humility and find true love again. It is incumbent upon Woods to dig deep into his soul to change his underlying beliefs and come to terms with the past. It will set him free.

Vikki Ziegler, named one of the Top 40 Lawyers Under 40 by the New Jersey Law Journal, is a frequent contributor to Fox News Channel, CNN, CNBC, Fox Business Network, CBS and more. She has launched DivorceDating.com, which is a resource for bringing singles together by helping them get through difficult times and grow from their experiences. Her book, 'The Premarital Survival Guide,' is in bookstores now.

Tags: tiger woods

Comments

(22)

Tuesday 22 March

By Joyce

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That advice pertains to anyone.....not just Tiger.
I wish him well in all areas of his life.

Wednesday 23 March

By BTDT

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"Pop-Ed: Tiger Woods Needs To Love Himself"

If he could settle for that, he'd have never gotten in trouble.

By mickey

Horse crap. That's how he got into this mess. He loves himself way more than friends, family or fans. Who wrote this stupid article?

By jonah

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Has Woods named his yacht the "BOOTY CALL"?

By Kirk

You say No? I say wait and see and hope for the best. The social pressure for Tiger to shape up is enormous, and a relapse to his previous trists would be devastating for him both personally and professionally.

By Ebba

Hasn't Tiger already loved everyone else?

By ruggit

New girlfriend or party partner? She looks like a lot of fun.

By naturevideo

I am not a Tiger fan and am not sticking up for him in any way, but it was reported quite awhile ago that Tiger's ex-wife was dating someone already, so why is this an issue only for Tiger according to the author?

By simpsonsimpmike

Because he is the celebrity with the wandering wiener.

By lin

She would have to be desperate knowing Tiger's track record.

By Cindy Geerlings

They should call him Tiger "Woodie"!! LOL

By larry

What would you expect from a guy born of a black father who goes on National T.V. and declares himself a "CABALASIAN", what ever the heck that is, he obviously has deep seated self hatred issues, but hey, may he have a good life.

By Hollywood

Well, at least he doesn't go around punching b*tches and breaking windows, at least that much can be said for him. I guess where he chooses to stick it is his business.

By Angiebaby

I'm not sure this is the case with Tiger Woods. Most of his "relationships" have been about p*ssy, not love.

By linmarsan

Tiger Woods put himself before everyone else in his life (children, wife, mother). I doubt he has changed. He should just keep dating the seedier type of woman, it seems to suit him.

By tj

Tiger's problem all along is that hehas loved himself above ALL others.

By Russell Lewis

I think your advice, Vikki, should be to mind your own friggin' business. Who made you the moral guardian of the universe?

Thursday 28 July

By Carol

She wants to get her paycheck too....who cares if it's the TRUTH or not?

By goatcars2

I live on Jupiter Island Florida where Tiger just built a new home for himself. He certainly will have his privacy from neighbors who are routinely blase' toward "celebrities". Curiously, he chose to build on the island's main road which is not gated and invites gawkers and paparazzi...For a man who alledgedly values his privacy, this makes little sense!!!

By KS.

Is it self love. OR is it self loathing??

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