Five Ways a Normal Person Can Date a Celebrity

By Justine Goodman Posted Mar 23rd 2011 10:15PM

Wouldn't it be nice if you could enjoy all the benefits of life as a celebrity without actually having to be talented actor or singer in your own right? Yes, it would! And while the majority of celebs stick to their own kind, there are some stars who have opted to settle down with a "normal" person just like you and me -- only really good looking.

But if you follow one of these easy paths, you just might succeed in bagging a celebrity mate of your very own. Or, at the very least, you'll walk away with an epic story about why you are legally required to stay 200 feet away from James Franco at all times.

Meet a Famous Person Before They Get Famous
Once a person becomes famous, they may find it super difficult to trust anyone they didn't know back when they were one of us regular folks. They think everyone is trying to take advantage of them, and usually they're right. So a tried and true way to bag a celeb is to start dating them before they hit it big. That way, you'll rope them in with all that love and emotions and stuff before they have a chance to realize they could do better. Case in point: Ron Howard, who is married to his high school sweetheart, Cheryl. Simply treat everyone you meet like they might be a winning lottery ticket and then wait for your numbers to be called. (Note: This approach tends to work best when one of you gets knocked up before getting famous. Just ask Levi Johnston.)

Go to a Fancy School
Kate Middleton met Prince William in 2001 when they were both students at the elite University of St. Andrews. Now, she's totally getting married at Westminster Abbey next month -- and it only took 10 years! All you have to do is get into a school like Brown or Yale (Franco, anyone?) and then charm the pants off one of your inevitably famous peers. Also, might as well cover all your bases and snap some compromising pics of your future ex taking bong hits at a frat party. They will come in handy if they try to leave you.

Our Fascination With Celebrity Relationships

Be Married to Someone Else
It's a well-known fact that people tend to want what they can't have, and since celebrities can have pretty much anything, it may be very difficult to confuse them into thinking that you are something they can't have, let alone something they would want. But here's one way to sidestep that pesky problem: marry someone else. It worked for Jessica Sklar, who had just returned from her honeymoon when she met Jerry Seinfeld at a Reebok Sports Club. Yadda, yadda, yadda, she ditched that other dude after just four months of marriage, and now she's married to one of the most famous (and wealthy) people on the planet.

Become a Makeup Artist
You know who gets to know famous people really well without actually being famous? Makeup artists. While celebs are sitting in that chair, having their flaws concealed, they very often bond with the makeup artist, and sometimes that bonding leads to breeding. Patrick Dempsey is married to makeup artist Jillian Fink, while 'E.R.' alum Anthony Edwards is married to Jeanine Lobell, who he met on the set of 'Pet Sematary II.' Heck, even Johnny Depp was married to a makeup artist in the '80s, and Jason Priestley has married not one but two makeup artists. Sadly, few female celebrities have followed suit, but that's only because, well, we can only assume the pool of straight male makeup artists is a pretty small one.

Be a Hot Bartender
Did you know that Matt Damon's wife -- and the mother of his four daughters -- is a former bartender? It's true. Damon met Argentine-born Luciana Bozan Barroso in 2003 when he was shooting 'Stuck on You' in Miami, where she was working at a bar. Two years later, they wed at a private civil ceremony in New York. Moral of the story: Go to bartending school, and then get a job somewhere that celebrities hang out. You're welcome.

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Tags: celebrity couples, couples

Comments

(21)

Wednesday 23 March

By Really ? is that all? *sarcasm

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I cant believe how easy it is to meet a celebrity, just basically to sum up the entire article, Be at the right place at the right time, and of course the article is biased because this is advice for women ONLY to get a celebrity. And being a single guy such as myself, I stand by my conviction ITS MUCH EASIER FOR A GIRL TO GET A GUY THAN A GUY TO GET A GIRL!

By maria1963

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I don't think so! I can't find a decent guy anywhere! Guess I'm not hot enough.

Thursday 24 March

By angerISFORlosers

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yea i agree, thats why girls rebound way faster than guys, plus any girl can go into a bar and know she can get laid if she wants to

By henchmanc

Wouldn't it be nice if you could enjoy all the benefits of life as a celebrity without actually having to be talented actor or singer in your own right

If the Kardashian's can do it, why can't you?

By Rich

Ben Maisani is a bartender - and he snagged Anderson Cooper!

By Hmmm

Who'd want to date a celebrity. I prefer my privacy and don't want the high maintenance of a celebrity.

By twinfish

Great article, Justine...and, one of the funniest that I've ever read! Love your sense of humor.:)

By Amanda

Ron Howard became a celebrity at age SIX when he starred as Opie on The Andy Griffith Show, he's hardly someone his wife snagged before fame got him. A good example would be Jack Black or Jon Bon Jovi, both married their high school sweethearts.

By Marisol

I'm pretty sure that the Seinfelds met BEFORE she married that Nederlander guy. She was at the gym getting into shape for the wedding when Jerry started hitting on her.

By Garner

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Matt's wife is so dumpy and ugly he is much too good for her.

By Lauren

Well, Matt Damon is no 'adonis' either... He's very homely-looking.

By Victoria

And we would want to date a celebrity because....anyone? anyone? Oh, I know, we don't value our privacy and just need all that attention. Right.

You cannot be serious. What a lame article.

By Aubrey Hart

Interesting. But only if the celebrity is Jim Parsons.

By loveyouhotmiley

If you have the money, you could always attend charity events that celebs go to or move to Malibu. Location, location, location! Hard to meet someone if you aren't even in the same state.

By Sue

Why would a normal person want to date a celebrity? My niece was engaged to a former pro ball player. PIG..he was everything you imagine ballers to be. She was lucky she got out pretty quickly.

By jrokonez

I think a lot of you are sort of missing the point. this wasn't intended as a serious step-by-step guide to nailing a celebrity. it doesn't work that way. it's written in a very tongue-in-cheek way - ie, no one actually thinks these are reasonable suggestions, especially the writer. no one's even saying this is something you would/should want to do. In fact, it's suggesting the total opposite. that's why it's funny. ... Don't overthink it.

By sgtmike132

These people only want to be involved with other people in the business. They are all phony....

By raidrmik67

Now, she's totally getting married at Westminster Abbey next month>>>>

WHO writes this stuff and is it ever proof read by an editor?

She forgot you can meet a "celebrity" by hanging out back stage and begging him to have sex with you.

Friday 25 March

HA......nnnnnice

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