Pop-Ed: Sorry Lindsay, But You'll Always Be Lohan

By Zach Dionne Posted Mar 28th 2011 04:00PM

Pop-Ed: PopEater's Rob Shuter recently reported that Lindsay Lohan wants to drop the "Lo" in "LiLo" and transform into a new pop icon known simply as Lindsay. If her mother Dina isn't just drumming up a new headline for the sake of it, I have to officially reject this Lohaneuver.

What have you done for us lately, Lindsay (Lohan)? You starred in 'Mean Girls' and gave me an opportunity to take a cute girl to a funny movie in ... when was it? 2004? That was practically the '90s.

And since then, what? You've starred in a few Funny Or Die clips and made self-deprecating cameos and appearances on late night talk shows. True, you've filmed a few movies (nothing outshining DVD rewatches of 'The Parent Trap'), but your recurring spot as Frightened Inmate No. 2 for the past few years -- in talks for a fifth season following a dramatic stolen necklace story line -- is your defining role.

Sorry, Lindsay (Lohan) -- when you don't do anything significant, you can't ask us to one-name you.

Classic entertainers like Cher, Prince and Madonna are unique, enshrined and prolific enough for their single monikers to never be an issue. They're eccentric, but they're iconic. Even modern showbiz staples like Britney and Brad and Angelina do enough work outside of the tabloids to warrant surname-lessness. Most importantly, none of them made an actively public decision to drop their last names. Look at Beyonce -- she still goes by the full Beyonce Knowles for all her movies.

This isn't a call you get to make, LiLo. You just don't. And if you do, you can't make us adhere. Never mind the fact that there are virtually no mega-famous Lindsays out there in showbiz. You just haven't earned the right. Simply by starring in the hottest reality show out there, Snooki actually earned it, and she doesn't even want it anymore.

The name-dropping reportedly won't stop with Lindsay (Lohan), either -- Dina told PopEater she and daughter Ali will be reverting to the pre-Michael Lohan surname of Sullivan.

"It's a way for them all to start over," a family friend tells Rob Shuter. "No one in the family want anything to do with Lindsay's father [Michael Lohan] anymore and that includes sharing a last name."

Wanting to get away from the scummy name of Michael Lohan is all well and good, but dropping or changing a name does not equal a new beginning. It's a cop-out.

Lindsay (Lohan): Keep your head down, stay focused on rebuilding your reputation and career and lessening the time you spend moving through courtrooms and jail cells, and then request anything you want of us. Preferably after you've gotten us into a movie theater, enjoying ourselves at an actual non-tabloid performance.

And if none of that hits home, just admit that LiLo is a great nickname, if not a national treasure.

More: Michael Lohan Weighs In, Could 'Never Imagine' Lindsay Ditching Surname

Tags: Lindsay Lohan

Comments

(16)

Monday 28 March

By Hmmm

Vote down Vote up Report this

Sam says she has a sLOHANd. Ooh La La

By Zero

Your family is most important to you. If you don't watch
the other's back, they'll be gone forever.

now

You have no idea what's happening but will
be informed of grim news.

past

There is corruption in the heart.

By themeeker

Highest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

Sorry Lindsay, But You'll Always Be Lohan...and a skank...and a drunk...and a druggie...and a no talent waste of time. Oh, and so is everyone in that family you were blessed with.

By Mike

High Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

"Pop icon?" As in music? She doesn't even sing. WTF?

By zachdionne

As in pop culture.

By KRAM

i'm sick and tired of this nobody (for a lack of a better word), skank!what? was she a mousakteer or somehing?everytime you turn around she's in trouble. she's thinking she's above the law. time to put the idiot away for a few years please.

By Polar Patrol

Can't she just be LOL instead of LILO? Cuz she is one big joke!

By Nancy

How about Lindsay LowLife ?

By Joey

Somebody get this girl to a psychiatrist ASAP.

By Anthony J. Lawrence

Well lets start with this, seems to me everytime the media address her it's LINDS or HEY LINDSAY, looks to me like the first name started some time ago. Second why get all bent out of shape over it, it's no big deal, get over it already, GO LINDS YOU ROCK.

By mw

This skank thinks she is a star, she never was a star and will never will be a star. SHe thinks she is a dam good actress, yeah right, and I am the Queen. She better get a regular job and start making some money and stop selling pics of herself for a few bucks. She will always be a Lohan, everyone knows that, and will always call her Lindsay Lohan, you will never lose that title.

By mj

yeah shes right up there with elivs, john ,paul , george and ringo

By L.Borja

People like Cher, Madonna and Oparh are one name icons because of their great talent. LiLo on the other hand is know for being a liar, druggie/drunk,stealing and having very little talent. Except how to blame others for her bad[criminal] behavior.

By 77

she could be Mrs.77- I wouldnt Mind,

good luck Lynn,I Hope you can shake um off some day SOON,maybe ill see ya when...Its alll over! xxxooos

By Kat2988

how about she drop both names, change it entirely and leave the country, she doesn't really do anything except do dope, steal, run around the streets of hollywood.

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