Mommie Dearest: The Worst Celebrity Parents in History
By Justine Goodman Posted Mar 30th 2011 03:00PM
news that Katy Perry's evangelical mother is trying to sell a book about her daughter, and it got us thinking about other parents who have displayed questionable judgment when it comes to their famous offspring. Read on for a roundup of Hollywood's most notoriously unfit parents, from the Lohans to Joe Jackson.
Dina and Michael Lohan
With role models like these two, it's no wonder things turned out the way they did for Lindsay "Lindsay" Lohan. Michael is the only Lohan with a longer rap sheet than his daughter's, with charges ranging from insider trading to driving under the influence and attempted assault. And he manages to do it all while still talking to the press ad nauseam about Lindsay, even though she wants him out of her life so badly she is reportedly contemplating dropping her last name. Meanwhile, Dina seems desperate to be a pseudo-celebrity in her own right, and conceived that god-awful reality show 'Living Lohan' as a way to capitalize on her daughter's fame. Parents of the year, we think not.
Anyone who willingly adopts the moniker "Papa Joe" is an automatic creep. Case in point: Jessica Simpson's dad-slash-manager. Before he became his daughter's manager and a reality television "star," Joe Simpson was a Southern minister and psychologist -- looks like they'll give a Ph.D. to just about anyone in Texas -- with the good fortune to produce two pretty, moderately talented daughters. Now, Joe is best known for having made an inappropriate remark about his daughter's boobs. Straight from Papa Joe's lips: "Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" So, um, that happened.
The only thing worse than talking about your daughter's boobs is letting your drug dealer touch them, and that's what actress Tatum O'Neal alleges in her 2005 autobiography, 'A Paper Life.' Tatum, who has a well-documented drug problem, blames a lot of her troubles on a tumultuous upbringing that allegedly included persistent molestation at the hands of her father's drug dealer, neglect, beatings, underage drinking and drug use. Ryan has denied those allegations, but he was arrested in 2007 for assaulting Tatum's brother, Griffin. He was also arrested the following year when a healthy supply of methamphetamines were discovered in his home during a probation check on his other son, Redmond.
For proof that Joe Jackson is a terrible father, you need only ask at any one of his 500 children. OK, nine children. But still. From the disturbing (alleged) body dysmorphic disorder that plagued Michael, who admitted that he would often become ill or vomit upon seeing his father, to the countless allegations of physical and psychological abuse perpetrated against his talented clan, Joe Jackson has to be one of the worst parental figures in history.
The original 'Mildred Pierce' actress is as famous for her Academy Award-winning career as her poor parenting skills, which were documented in her daughter Christina's 1978 tell-all memoir 'Mommie Dearest.' The book gives a horrifying account of the emotional and physical abuse suffered by Crawford's four children (all adopted) at the hand of their alcoholic mother, including one incident in which Crawford tried to strangle Christina. The book went on to become a feature film in 1981 starring Faye Dunaway as Joan, who was portrayed as an ax-wielding lunatic. Thirty years later, references to 'Mommie Dearest' are still commonplace in the pop culture vernacular.
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