Mommie Dearest: The Worst Celebrity Parents in History

By Justine Goodman Posted Mar 30th 2011 03:00PM

Last week, the blogs were aflutter with the news that Katy Perry's evangelical mother is trying to sell a book about her daughter, and it got us thinking about other parents who have displayed questionable judgment when it comes to their famous offspring. Read on for a roundup of Hollywood's most notoriously unfit parents, from the Lohans to Joe Jackson.

Dina and Michael Lohan

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With role models like these two, it's no wonder things turned out the way they did for Lindsay "Lindsay" Lohan. Michael is the only Lohan with a longer rap sheet than his daughter's, with charges ranging from insider trading to driving under the influence and attempted assault. And he manages to do it all while still talking to the press ad nauseam about Lindsay, even though she wants him out of her life so badly she is reportedly contemplating dropping her last name. Meanwhile, Dina seems desperate to be a pseudo-celebrity in her own right, and conceived that god-awful reality show 'Living Lohan' as a way to capitalize on her daughter's fame. Parents of the year, we think not.

Joe Simpson

Hollywoods Most Embarrassing Parents

Anyone who willingly adopts the moniker "Papa Joe" is an automatic creep. Case in point: Jessica Simpson's dad-slash-manager. Before he became his daughter's manager and a reality television "star," Joe Simpson was a Southern minister and psychologist -- looks like they'll give a Ph.D. to just about anyone in Texas -- with the good fortune to produce two pretty, moderately talented daughters. Now, Joe is best known for having made an inappropriate remark about his daughter's boobs. Straight from Papa Joe's lips: "Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!" So, um, that happened.

Ryan O'Neal

The only thing worse than talking about your daughter's boobs is letting your drug dealer touch them, and that's what actress Tatum O'Neal alleges in her 2005 autobiography, 'A Paper Life.' Tatum, who has a well-documented drug problem, blames a lot of her troubles on a tumultuous upbringing that allegedly included persistent molestation at the hands of her father's drug dealer, neglect, beatings, underage drinking and drug use. Ryan has denied those allegations, but he was arrested in 2007 for assaulting Tatum's brother, Griffin. He was also arrested the following year when a healthy supply of methamphetamines were discovered in his home during a probation check on his other son, Redmond.

Joe Jackson

Joe Jackson blames Katherine

For proof that Joe Jackson is a terrible father, you need only ask at any one of his 500 children. OK, nine children. But still. From the disturbing (alleged) body dysmorphic disorder that plagued Michael, who admitted that he would often become ill or vomit upon seeing his father, to the countless allegations of physical and psychological abuse perpetrated against his talented clan, Joe Jackson has to be one of the worst parental figures in history.

Joan Crawford

The original 'Mildred Pierce' actress is as famous for her Academy Award-winning career as her poor parenting skills, which were documented in her daughter Christina's 1978 tell-all memoir 'Mommie Dearest.' The book gives a horrifying account of the emotional and physical abuse suffered by Crawford's four children (all adopted) at the hand of their alcoholic mother, including one incident in which Crawford tried to strangle Christina. The book went on to become a feature film in 1981 starring Faye Dunaway as Joan, who was portrayed as an ax-wielding lunatic. Thirty years later, references to 'Mommie Dearest' are still commonplace in the pop culture vernacular.

Tags: celebrity parents

Comments

(121)

Friday 01 April

By cdboy513

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You forgot Sarah Palin

By al pambuena

everytime i see some little crumcruncher in a hit tv show or movie, i want to smack them and the parents, because for the next 30 years, we have to put up with their sex and drug problems. i first saw this when the olsen twins were these cute little pixies, and i joked, well wait till they grow up.....well here we are, along with all the rest of these kids. britney spears should have been put away years ago, and who in the hell allowed them to breed?

Sunday 03 April

By Paul

Every time you see a "crumbcruncher" you want to smack them ? Sounds like breeding wouldn't be a good idea for you either.

By Blonde Ambition

@Al - did you have a rotten childhood, too?

By Hisgirlhoward

I don't think there are parents anywhere that aren't dysfunctional. There's just different levels of dysfunction. I always say my family puts the fun in dysfunction!

Most often though, the parents that think they are the best parents have the most obnoxious children.

By aearon87

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What about (Papa) John Phillips of Mamas & the Papas fame and what he did 2 his daughter!?!?

By Uncle Eddy

Ryan O'Neal is by far the worst celeberty father

By Jeri

Oh grea! More Palin bashing. What a rut!!

By johnandjanjacobs

Better read the story of lizzy borden her father was a sick puppy

Saturday 02 April

By Jordan Gordon

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Joan Crawford was actually a decent parent. She didn't want her kids to turn into the other celebrity kids. She was strict to make sure her children weren't spoiled brats, which one of them was.

By Gerald

What about Marv Marinovich and the way he attempted to "program" his son Todd to be the perfect quarterback by basically controlling every facet of his life?

By janeidge

NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!

By jacci

As parents, we all make mistakes. Not blown out of proportion, as people with cameras shoved up their arses 24/7, but mistakes all the same. 150 children die everynite,in the US, from abuse,by their parents. These celebrity kids suffer from greedy, drug-addled nut jobs for parents, but they're waking up. No-one knows what goes on behind closed doors...and spoiled rotten, every whim catered too, non disciplened child stars are usually the first to blame mom and daddy. just my opinion

By get a life

What about Will Smith & Jada Pinkett-Smith pimping out their kids? Don't they have enough money, that their kids could just be kids?
That little Willow is going to need neck surgery before she's 15 with her STUPID song, & the boy can not act.

By Elizabeth

@kat--Whats wrong with the Palins?
1. Unwed teenage motherhood is not an isolated incident. Ever heard of 'Teen Mom' on MTV. There are also plenty of high school drop-outs all over the country. The only reason anyone cares that Bristol Palin is both of these is because the Palins are in the public eye. These things do not make a person or a family 'dysfunctional'.
2. I thought he didn't start living with the Palins until after Bristol was either already pregnant or gave birth.
3. How many teenagers or young adults do you know and how many facebook pages do you check? I don't know what world you're living in but there are tons of racial and sexual slurs on blogs and social networking sites. I don't agree with it but it's there so the Palin's middle child is not the only one saying those kinds of things. Again, the only reason anybody cares is because the Palins are in the public eye.
4. I'm pretty sure I know plenty of people that would join the military for any number of reasons, not going to jail being one of them. Again, this does not make a person or family 'dysfunctional'.

By speech

Sarah Palins son Track was caught cutting the brake lines on school buses - instead of being given an option to go military, the judge should have given him a cell with a 6 foot ten inmate called tiny with 12 inches hanging

By sadie

Crawford is the worst. She was a Borderline (Borderline Personality Disorder). Those people are evil incarnate. I know. I have one as a parent. Psychologists will only ever take one in their practice if they do at all (they are freakazoid energy vampires) and there is a high rate of suicide amongst the people unfortunate to be related to them. There's no hope for relatives of borderlines.

By jenniferstewart

i hate being the one too say i told you all so but hey when you have losers for parents this is the end result of that error that failure we call life their all money grubbing idiots and it's only a matter of time before they end up like dana plato or worse bye

By robhllnd2

While we're at it, don't leave out ADAM & EVE. Cain whacked his brother Abel.

By louisprofeta profeta

Was Lindsay's dad a hit man before his numerous exams or what?

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