Chuck Lorre Talks 'Tough Times' Post-Charlie Sheen

By Zach Dionne Posted Apr 1st 2011 10:25AM

'Two and a Half Men' creator Chuck Lorre has a habit of writing lengthy vanity cards at the end of his CBS shows, and even with Hurricane Sheen swirling toward new coasts, Lorre is continuing to weigh in. The vanity card closing last night's 'The Big Bang Theory' -- available on Lorre's website -- was a doozy.

"Whenever I've gone through tough times, well-meaning people have told me that God/the universe does not give us more than we can handle," Lorre's note began. "Well, I've been going through a tough time recently, and sure enough, that old saying has been tossed my way on several morose occasions. After some careful consideration, I've decided it's bull$#*!"

Lorre's vanity card habit was arguably one of the factors that set off Charlie Sheen's stupendous tour of #winning and verbally decimating everyone in his path. While Sheen was still part of 'Two and a Half Men,' Lorre wrote, "If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed."

The rest of Lorre's newest vanity card reads:

As an aphorism, it only makes sense in hindsight – after you've managed to crawl from the wreckage of whatever calamity that God/the universe decided to toss your way. No one can ever use it to comfort someone who's been hit by a bus or turned into a puddle of goo by flesh-eating bacteria (although in the right circumstance, that could be a hoot). Another thing I hear a lot is, "this too shall pass." Again, I know these are words meant to reassure, but somehow they always leave me feeling that heartbreak, rage and grief are going to come shooting out of me like kidney stones through an inflamed urethra. For someone in crisis, I think a more accurate and helpful assessment of reality would be, "Love, sex, food, friendship, art play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a coup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary." Consider trying that next time you're called on to do some consoling. If you're feeling impish, you might also try, "According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sewed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but in the big scheme of things, soon.

Now let's see if Sheen weighs in.

►Charlie Sheen Declares War on Ex-Bosses
►Chuck Lorre on 'Two and a Half Men': 'I Am So Outta Here!'
►Chuck Lorre will be 'Really Pissed' if Charlie Sheen Outlives Him

Tags: Chuck Lorre, Two and a Half Men

Comments

(17)

Friday 01 April

By jonah

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More information than anyone cares to know, Chuck. Take it to your Facebook pals.

By BTDT

This guy is as big a putz as Sheen.
No wonder they didn't get along.

By Trudat

I've said that all along...Lorre's therapy cards and diatribes on Sheen started a couple of years ago, before the warlock lost it by trashing Chuck. Not to say charlie wasn't on a destructive path but if Chuck thought that was the way to handle it then he shouldn't have been surprised when Charlie hit back, he drinks tiger blood afterall......winner, winner...chicken dinner.

By sawtooth

I now see what Charlie meant. Douchebag. pycho babble bs.

By Andy

So, who's the wacko here?

By B.

Note to Chuck and all the other self-important, neurotic nitwits that orbit my universe here in LA LA Land - GET OVER YOURSELF -GET A LIFE and go away. Trust me you're NOT all that or even a bag of chips. Maybe you and Charlie can go halfsies on a good shrink.

By michael

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Chuck... shut up already! God doesn't send you more than you can handle, but you're making it worse. Please remember that you started it. God is sending you a message: Ditch the vanity cards. Now that we have a pause button on the remote, more and more offendees will actually be able to read them. So Charlie may not be the last person who gets pissed off. (Just the richest... and you're the one who made him rich.)

By bleck

Nobody likes a multi-millionaire's self-pitying exercise in martyrdom. Man up Chuck or get help.

By cgw

OK, I still think that Charlie Sheen is as crazy as Ghaddafi, but after reading this drivel (vanity personified) he might have been right on the money about Lorre

By tony

spoken like the troll he is.

By Green Mtn boy

Get a life Chuck. It seems Charlie was right all along and his ranting is making more sense all the time. Chuck, you need to get some serious help with your narcissistic behavior.

By GV

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Dude. Its just a silly half hour show and not the end of the world, youre richer than I ever will be, if I could work and support myself. Be happy the idiot is gone, the last few seasons sucked and I stopped watching due to Charlie and the awful plots. So be happy youre not disabled and living w/your 84 yr old mother.

By crabby

I can only imagine how creepy Chuck Lorre and Chatlie Sheen are in real life.They seem unhealthy self serving old and fugly!

By the_fool

He probably misses recycling his junior high jokes week after to week. Poor rich guy.

By holland cross

Chuck : Call me. I will expalin some things to you.

By April

Suck it up Chuck!

Thursday 28 April

By Danny

My vote is for Justin Long to replace Sheen. He is underrated and Sheen is overrated.

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