All These Eighties Remakes Are Destined to Fail

By Jo Piazza Posted Apr 4th 2011 03:00PM

Someone needs to tell Hollywood that not every movie wants to be remade. In fact, most movies were birthed in a particular time for a particular reason, and their narratives just won't hold up the second time around.

Yes, we're talking about MTV's remake of 'Teen Wolf' and the impending redux of 'Top Gun,' 'Footloose,' 'Red Dawn' and 'Teen Witch.'

'Teen Wolf' is the first of these remakes to go public, and advance reviews aren't great. Our pals over at Moviefone went so far as to compare it to 'Twilight.' Fans of the original won't consider that a compliment.

In the '80s, everything was a little bit ridiculous -- from the hairstyles to the legwarmers to Nancy Reagan's war on drugs. That absurdity bled into movies -- to their benefit. That's why we had films where Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman convince the entire Hamptons their dead boss was a party animal (twice), where a man falls in love with a mannequin (also twice), where teen boys become wolves (the '80s loved nothing better than a sequel) and teen girls become witches.

"'Teen Wolf,' 'Top Gun' and 'Footloose' were all hits in their day because the ridiculousness of the eighties provided the perfect framework for these camp masterpieces," explains Hollywood.com's Paul Degarabedian. These are crazy plots, and the '80s handled them with their appropriate camp. We no longer live in an age of such absurdity, and Hollywood seems to have forgotten how to do camp well. That leaves these ridiculous plots feeling oddly earnest, which makes them uncomfortable.

"These are concepts from an era of willful naivete: Reagan-era reactions to the Cold War, oppressive authority and outsiders made good. There's absolutely a cheesiness to their fashion, language and production values, but you REALLY see their age in their ideology. We've changed radically as a culture, and if we judge that era's big hits as camp, it's because our '80s optimism and earnestness has given way to 21st-century cynicism and irony," says Movieline's S.T. VanAirsdale.

Take the MTV remake of 'Teen Wolf': It offers earnest brooding and self-reflection on what it really means to be a teenage boy who is also a werewolf. Michael J. Fox's Scott Howard wasn't a brooder. He was just psyched he could finally dunk. Something has been lost in translation.

And the original audience -- people like me who grew up believing that Macy's mannequins come to life as pretty ladies at night and mermaids lived in bachelors' bathtubs -- is going to be sadly disappointed by the revisited versions that can't hold a candle to something that was awesome when we were 7 years old.

And while these films did seem awesome when we were 7 (and by "we," I am including all the Gen Y filmmakers who think these remakes make good fiscal sense), none of them were giant box office boons.

For better or worse, we live in a new age, and we need new narratives for it. Revisiting the old ones won't bring back our childhoods and probably won't make a ton of money.

Watch the 'Teen Wolf' Trailer.

Teen Wolf - MTV Shows

Tags: teen wolf

Comments

(13)

Monday 04 April

By Rae

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The original Teen Wolf was a bad movie to begin with. I can't imagine it would be any better by remaking it. The story line was stupid.

By J

I dont know....it looks better than that Twilight crap....I aint raising my hopes though...

By ruta

More crap due to lack of talented writers. Most of these movies were lousy then and they won't be any better now.

Tuesday 05 April

By BTDT

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"All These Eighties Remakes Are Destined to Fail"

Don't bet on it. All the originals stunk to high heaven, but they still made money. (Insert Barnum quote here)

By MidniteMoon333

I loved the 80s ... but I don't want a remake of them!

By stoli89

Actually, the 80's Teen Wolf was a remake of the 50's original, starring Michael Landon.

By Ryan

There are too many remakes of movies being made. Are there any writers with new and original story ideas in Hollywood?

By uawildcat

Teen Witch? That cannot and should not be remade, leave it as it is!!

By Maria

dude you are a genius. you are especially right about campy stuff then seeming ridiculously earnest now. now if only those stupid hollywood types would freaking listen!!

By Hooper

What's with judging the 80's to be ridiculous? Young people in the 80's were just as cool (or whatever word you use now) as anybody in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, etc. and so on. Every generation has their own style and it's all cheesy. Don't single anybody out.

By tpurvis

There are so many good books out there that can be adapted for the screen. Hollywood is lazy and just wants to turn a quick buck! I will not be seeing any of these remakes my kids forcing me to watch Karate Kid was more than enough. UGH!

By Paige

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If Hollywood is going to remake any movie from the 80's, they need to remake "Back to the Future." I love the Back to the Future trilogies. I believe given the right story line, director, and actors (I'm thinking Zac Efron would make a good Marty McFly), coupled with the special effects of today, the movie could be a huge success. I'm also curious to see what Hollywood would do with "Real Genius"....that's another favorite of my from the 80's.

Wednesday 06 April

By Polar Patrol

Leave it alone. Or at least update it. Kid from 2010 goes back to 1980 to save his parents in a souped up hybrid Prius. :P

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