5 Things We Learned Reading Tina Fey's 'Bossypants'

By Elizabeth Yun Posted Apr 11th 2011 10:30PM

Reading Tina Fey's 'Bossypants' comes with the predictable consequence that you'll laugh out loud (and possibly run the risk of looking very stupid while reading in public), but it also comes with an unexpected side effect -- you learn some interesting stuff. And not just about Fey, but about why you shouldn't mess with Amy Poehler, Alec Baldwin being roughly equivalent to instant success, and why you should be very nice to performers on cruises. Read the five things we learned here >>

1) Lorne Michaels does not like it when you finish his sentences:

"The only advice anyone had given me about meeting with Lorne was 'Whatever you do, don't finish his sentences.' A Chicago actress I knew had apparently made that mistake and she believed it cost her the job. When I was eventually ushered into his office, I sat down, determined not to blow it. Lorne said, 'So you're from...'

It seemed to hang there forever. Why wasn't he finishing the question? If I answered now, would this count as my talking over him? I couldn't remember how normal human speech patterns worked. Another five seconds went by, and still no more sentence from Lorne. Oh, God. When I flew back to Chicago the next day they were going to say, 'How was your meeting with Lorne Michaels?' And I would reply, 'He said 'So you're from' and then we sat there for an hour and then a girl came in and asked me to leave.'"

2) Amy Poehler doesn't [bleep]ing care if you think she's crass:

"Amy was in the middle of some ... nonsense ... and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and 'unladylike.'

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, 'Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it.'

Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second and wheeled around on him. 'I don't f**king care if you like it.' Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.)"

3) If your cruise ship is going down, the dancers and musicians are in charge of your life. We say specifically "in charge of" as opposed to "responsible for" because, well:

"In the event of an emergency, it is the entertainers who are in charge of the lifeboats. Because the rest of the crew has actual nautical duties, the kids from Fiesta Caliente are trained to man the lifeboats. If you ever have to get on a lifeboat, the person in charge of your safety will likely be a nineteen-year-old dancer from Tampa who just had a fight with his boyfriend about the new Rihanna video. James also told me that each lifeboat has a gun on it and that once a lifeboat is in the water, the performer-lifeboat captain is trained to shoot anyone who is disruptive. This is apparently legal in accordance with maritime law."

4) Professional photo shoots take a mind-numbing amount of time to prep:

"Just two to three hours after your arrival, you are ready to be taken to the photographer and shot."

5) The recipe for surefire success includes a heaping portion of Alec Baldwin:

"NBC executives must have seen something of value in my quirky and unique pilot (Alec Baldwin) because they decided for some reason (Alec Baldwin) to 'pick it up.' This means they agreed to make eleven more episodes and maybe show them on TV."

Get your copy of Tina Fey's 'Bossypants' on Amazon >>

Tags: bossypants, tina fey

Comments

(8)

Monday 11 April

By Palino

Lowest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

1. Nothing
2. She is not relevent
3. She is not funny
4. She has NO fans.
5. She is actually one of the original munchkins

Tuesday 12 April

By Barry

I agree 1000%

By Bill

That is a terrific makeup job--I could barely recognize that it was Martin Short!!

By simpsonsimpmike

no talent fugly skank

By Aeryn

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You found the five slightly interesting parts of the book. The rest was a bore! I read the entire thing and she really plays it close to the vest. If you want to read an AMAZING and FUNNY bio, check out Kathy Griffin's or Chelsea Handler's. I was really looking forward to this one, so it was a bummer when I learned next to nothing about Tina. I'm a big fan of hers. Loved Mean Girls (where was the dirt on making that movie?), adore 30 Rock (great to hear she loves the writers, but how about some secret behind-the-scenes info on that?), and always found her adorable on SNL (now i KNOW there's some good dirt on that show, but maybe she's too afraid of Lorne to pony up?)

By Bonbon

hate her

By Mark

Oh a top thirty TV show is a surefire success? HAHA this woman is a snooze and not funny.

Thursday 21 April

By Ginger

Highest Rank Vote down Vote up Report this

I find Tina Fey to be truly hilarious. If you think that her book wasn't funny than obviously you don't have a sense of humor and I must ask...Why did you buy her book? I really hate when people just pick at celebs and dislike them for no reason. No one seems more down-to-earth then Tina Fey. She has a sense of humor to boot!

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