Cary Grant's Daughter Opens Up on His Devotion, Style and Sexuality

There are memoirs by children of movie stars like the scathing 'Mommie Dearest,' about Joan Crawford, and then there are books like
'Good Stuff,' by Cary Grant's only child, Jennifer Grant. 'Good Stuff' is a loving portrait of her debonair dad who was 62 when she was born and died twenty years later. The star of so many classic movies like 'North by Northwest,' Notorious' and 'His Girl Friday,' was a devoted father who retired to raise his daughter and took endless photos and tape recorded their conversations to set it all in stone. Grant's mother, Dyan Cannon, divorced the screen legend when Jennifer was only a year old and although a bitter divorce and custody battle ensued, clearly they patched up their differences and co-parented their only child with no acrimony.
Jennifer Grant spoke to
PopEater about what inspired the wholly uncontroversial book (weird for a star-child memoir, we know), what it was like to have your dad retire from super-stardom to raise you, her befuddlement with rumors Cary was gay and she even lists his few and rare faults.
What's the emotion you feel when you stumble across one of your dad's films on TV?
I'm proud of him. He was such an amazing talent and he's fun to watch. It's fun to turn on one of his films. I know I'm going to laugh and be entertained and I'm always surprised even though I've seen them countless times. Last night I saw, 'To Catch a Thief,' at a film festival. It was the first time I'd seen one of his films on the big screen.
Really?
I know. I never went out to look for his films in theaters. I've seen them when they come on and I own several of them.
Which one is your favorite?
I have so many and a different one comes to mind every time I'm asked. The one that just came to mind when you asked was 'Bringing Up Baby' because I love Katharine Hepburn and it's just a sweet, happy movie. I love 'Suspicion,' 'North by Northwest,' 'An Affair to Remember,' 'His Girl Friday.' There are so many that's the thing. But last night I was struck by the economy of motion, the grace in his movements which on the big screen I particularly notice and he had it all through his life and it was something very signature to my father.
How did this book come about?
I was finally ready to share Dad with the world, it took me a while. I've always thought of a memoir as something nasty and terrible and I wouldn't have known what to write so it never really crossed my mind but a couple of friends of mine in the same week asked me if I had ever considered writing a book on Dad and something about it struck me deeply because these are people very close to me, know how private I am and have been my entire life and I realized my memoir didn't have to be like anybody else's. So I put pen to paper and started.
Explain the title, 'Good Stuff.'
Well it's something that he said. It could be about something very simple. It might be a quiet, lovely day and we'd be out on the lawn having a cup of tea and maybe Barbara (Grant's fifth wife) would walk out with some coffee cake and he'd say, 'Mmm, good stuff, isn't it?' He had a relish of life and that was one of his catchphrases.
Your Dad was an incredible father. Doesn't every man fall way short?
Thankfully I can put it in the Dad category. Really I just missed him, that was the resounding emotion and I don't think I ever really expected anyone to be like my father. First of all it's so unique that a father retires when you're born and really his life revolved around me so I had a very egocentric point of view. A tremendous amount of focus and one on one time. It took me a while to be accustomed to sharing, to more than a one on one relationship with any of my friends. I'm just used to one on one, for me to divide my focus is challenging. Hopefully I've gotten better at it.
What is also lovely is that you have a wonderful relationship with your step-mother.
We're very close friends. There's some luck in it but there's also a good measure of preparation. Dad didn't wait till he was gone and then have some reading of the will and Dad didn't wait to discuss his passing. We all got to sit and talk about it which I think is really helpful. Thankfully neither of us really wanted to hear about it. We just wanted him to stay around.
Can you believe how much style your Dad had?
More and more as I grow older. Again watching 'To Catch A Thief,' my God the way he carries himself. Simple timeless elegance.
I love the way you were raised. You had to pay for half of your car.
I'm glad as well. It was a very practical and kind thing to do. Still when it came time for me to leave college and go out in the real world, my father just happened to pass right then, it was a blow to look at the real world. I had no idea how to negotiate out there or little idea and those things like working for my car helped to prepare me.
Your Dad documented so much of your life!
As I got into my teen years he didn't document because I needed more privacy but until I was about 12 he would put that tape recorder in my room and talk to me and photograph everything he could. Once I hit 13 I got moody and didn't want my braces showing or something so he was restricted by my ego.
What do you make of the rumors that your Dad was gay?
It's sort of odd to me really because I was so close to him and I never saw any evidence of anything. I think generally even though one may not be looking for something there would be hints and there were no hints so it was sort of out of left field for me to hear something. I wouldn't know what to say to that. I always knew my father's girl friends and I never thought about what they did behind closed doors. It's not as though his sexuality was foremost on my mind but certainly homosexuality didn't enter my picture with him. I wondered if that's something that happened before I was around - who knows?
Describe him as a father.
He was thoughtful to the tiniest detail. He was compassionate, a remarkable listener, he was wise, he was generous and he was fun and funny.
Any bad points?
He could be grumbly sometimes. Prior to travel especially for a day or two or if he was upset with me he gave me the silent treatment. I hated that.
Your Dad had a beautiful full head of white hair. Is it hard for you to look at balding men?
(Laughs) I've never thought of it that way. You know I've never really tried to compare men to my father. He was his own niche and it's sort of a fruitless endeavor to try and compare so I don't do it.
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Glad to see Jennifer didn't take the Route of Christina Crawford when writting a book about being the child of a celebrity
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I doubt that she was cursed with the same upbringing. Joan Crawford *deserved* whatever negativity she received. The woman had mental problems and I highly doubt that Jennifer Grant was the child of abuse. As a "Daddy's girl" myself, it's touching to see the relationship that they had and her adoration of him. He and Diane seemed to have raised her well, she doesn't seem like the typical Hollywood spoiled brat. I love that they kept her feet on the ground by making her pay for half of her car. All celebrities should instill humbleness in their children and not hand everything to them without them having to lift a finger. A good celebrity parent makes them know how the real world works and makes them understand how fortunate they are. I agree with making them work towards something and/or lending a hand towards charitable causes. I know that I did it with my own son. Kudos to her parents, I just wish that they could have stayed married.
Joan Crawford always looked wound up too tightly. Cary looked the gentleman
She didn't take the Christina Crawford road because she didn't have to. She wasn't treated like garbage the way Crawford was.
I didn't know Cary Grant was a fudge packer.
Im sure Cary Grant, wasnt as crazy as Joan Crawford. you can clearly tell he was crazy about his only daughter. Joan Crawford was just plain crazy and a narcissist and alcoholic. Too adopt two children and treat them like animals, Im glad Christina told the truth. She couldnt have made it up. She needed to tell her story.
Excuse me but ....Jennifer did NOT have the same experience as Christina.....
I love Cary Grant and am also happy to see a "nice" book written about someone who is no longer with us. She is a beautiful person.
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Why is defacing this man's great reputation for being a wonderful actor and father being marred by rumors he is gay? He was not a queer!
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Seriously Bubbles you aren't a homiphobic are you? What would it matter if he WAS gay, why would that be tarnishing who he was, it is people like YOU who keep the world a sick place at times!
Bubbles...Why is it that people insist on using the word "queer" in the 21st century, that has to show as much bad taste as the "F" word. No one but the parties involved in his personal life will ever know what happened between him and whomever. It makes little or no differnce. Cary Grant was a charming, gifted and very talented artist. We need more of them around today.
Anyone going by the nickname "Bubbles" should be a fun, outgoing person. You sound like a hateful, bitter little bubble...do us all a favor and float away.
Good grief, Bubbles, why do you have to be so nasty? Jennifer didn't appear at all bothered by the rumor, and he's HER father! She basically just dismissed it and said if it happened, she didn't know about it. No matter WHAT he was, it didn't define WHO he was. Maybe you could learn something from her.
The rumour that Cary Grant was gay, had it's origins in the fact that when he was starting out in Hollywood, he and actor Randolph Scott lived together for several years.
They claimed to be platonic heterosexual roommates trying to save money by sharing living expenses. But others with only hearsay evidence claimed that there was something more to it. And so the rumours followed both men 'inside' Hollywood, but weren't known to the general public until after they'd both retired from acting. When in the 1970's and 80's OUTING every famous person who was rumoured to be gay, became a cottage industry, and so Cary Grant's name was included with Rock Hudson's, Montgomery Clift's, Charles Laughton's and others who were being OUTED at the time.
D: Why is all right for heterosexuals to be called "breeders" (among other things) by homosexuals? Double standards at play here? That road goes both ways.
Right, while he may (likley he was bisexual) have been gay, what difference would that make in his ability to be a good parent. Many gay men make the best fathers as they are much more conscious of being one and really think things through. They don't take being a parent lightly the way many straght parents do.
"Breeder" is more of a sly, humorous term in my opinion. Not hateful like "queer." Heterosexuals are not discriminated against, beat up, put down, etc. Get over it. They're just having a little fun. By the way, I am a "breeder" myself.
I guess Tabbeighcat above has never been a bullied, tormented or easily beatup gay kid by rabid, horrible "straight" kids, damned by the church or discriminated against by all the repulipigs and religious self-hating fanatics and christianists of the world. I'd think being called a "breeder" would be the least of her worries. Gay kids get called a hell of a lot worse. It goes both ways.
Actually, in Dyan Cannon's book, she mentioned that he did have an issues struggling with his sexuality.
Bubbles you seem to de-humanize people who are in same sex realtions.You must be perfect?........................ NOT!